Imagine Magic: Menma
by Raxychaz
Summary: Self-centered and generally hard to deal with, Menma Uzumaki gets juiced up by his G-Papa with Magic that reacts solely on his own imagination. What does this power mean when in the hands of a possibly crazy, self-serving gamer who just wants to see the world burn a little? Stuff, and Things will indeed happen. Not to be taken too seriously, DXD/Naruto/Minor Warcraft
1. Chapter 1

**This idea popped into my head during a raid. And I'm never picking up 'Archangel' again, so here's my contribution.**

**So yeah, I made my opinion of the current content available for this series, I myself had tried my hand at it when I was younger and stupider (Still working on becoming a real boy.) So now I return to it, with an idea in my head and mockery in my heart.**

**HIghschool DXD/Naruto/Minor Warcarft.**

**Start!**

"No, go away." Said the dismissive voice of a black haired male, his hair fluttering in the breeze as he sharply turned on his heel and began to vacate the area. His cold black eyes unflinchingly icy as he did so. He had fair skin and a decently handsome face if he did say so himself. Around his neck hung a necklace with a wolf's head, dark blue sapphires acting as the eyes of the steel creature. He wore a uniform, a black jacket over a white dress shirt, with matching trousers and black sneakers. Once more adorned with a wolf's head upon his belt buckle, this one had one red eye and one blue.

One of the more striking features was the black lines from his jawline to his cheekbone, they were vaguely triangular in nature but could be described as 'whisker' like.

"Strays are hunted and killed for sport, you know." Said the person he was speaking with, a redheaded girl with striking blue eyes, she was quite the looker herself, but he wasn't much for trivial things like breast size, besides he was more of an ass man. That and if he wasn't initially attracted to someone it would just never happen. She was a female version of his own uniform, though instead of it being a jacket it was this odd shoulder-cape thing, that and she wore a skirt instead of pants.

"That's nice." Said the male, stopping, he was feeling the theatrics come to him, and was thoroughly enjoying how this looked in his head, "I still refuse the offer though."

"Do you understand! You'll be killed because of your own arrogance!" Snapped the girl.

"Arrogance, that's a bit harsh don't you think? I mean this whole situation is your fault really." He turned, internally giggling at the amount of fun he was having right now. "You didn't ask if I desired this, you didn't, and still don't mind you, seem to care. All you wanted was more power and assumed, correctly I suppose from what you've told me thus far, that I could give you this added power. You forget yourself, girlie. I am no weapon to be wielded. I am a person, as much as you are. I wont bend at the knee purely because that's your wish. I'm not your obedient lapdog to play with. So fuck you, and fuck your little club. I'm no stray, I'm Menma motherfucking Uzumaki and you can suck a dick. Good day." After his thorough verbal thrashing he turned and began walking away from the riverside park bench.

"Bu-!"

"I said good day!" He had to catch himself, almost bursting out laughing as he _FINALLY_ got to say that line for real. '_Oh my self I am simply having too much fun_' Even in his head he was being overly dramatic, it added a little bit of spice to his day, he enjoyed it.

The girl frowned deeply, her eyes falling as she looked down to the blood splattered ground he had previously occupied. She had no idea he would react this way, she'd wasted a precious piece upon him, it made her blood boil at her own idiocy. She assumed him to be a Sacred Gear wielder, which he could still possibly be but those spectral beasts he summoned, the storm, earth and fire attacks, they all looked like magic. Perhaps a human with magical capabilities? Not unheard of. Then again he'd need some of higher being's blood in him at some point.

He claimed to be a 'Shaman' she had no idea what that was, and when she said this he merely tsk'ed at her and rolled his eyes, muttering a 'Typical'. What was that supposed to mean!? She'd never heard of a 'Shaman' before and was naturally curious.

Sighing she rubbed her forehead, perhaps that Issei boy would be a better choice, dangle a little flesh in his face and he'd be eating out of her hand. There was an unnaturally large amount of magic circulating the boy.

Looking up at the retreating figure of her recent...Failure. Her frown returned, who even was this boy really? He'd only just shown up at their school and immediately made it abundantly clear he didn't want anyone to speak with him unless it was completely needed. He was anti-social, had little self control when it came to amusing himself at others expense and currently had no friends, she figured he'd be easy pickings. You know one of those hard on the outside soft on the inside kind of people? Nope.

He was just plain unfriendly. He rejected every advance she attempted, even before she resurrected him, he'd been slamming his powers against some Fallen Angel that was actually loosing quite handily, now that she thought about it, it was her fault he died to begin with. She wanted to make a really cool entrance but ended up accidentally shooting her blast towards him because she sneezed, he ended up getting distracted long enough to take a light spear to the gut, the rage in his eyes was so strong that the Fallen actually flinched, he summoned a pair of transparent blue wolves that began mauling the angel as he bled out, he died face first on the ground and as he did the wolves seemed to flicker out of existence before finally disappearing, the Angel bailed with serious injury, but still managed to walk away.

She resurrected him for two reasons, one being that he was obviously strong enough to handle himself and would make an amazing addition to her peerage, and she did kinda get him killed so she did owe him for that.

She had no idea he'd be so ungrateful.

"You're a dickhead by the way!" Came his shout as she turned, still far away but she did hear him, her shoulder slumped and a cloud grew over her head.

"My work here is done." Now back with the black haired Shaman he quickly broke off into a jog, he had more important things to deal with. Like raiding. With a click of his fingers he shifted into the form of a white wolf, transparent as the previous ones, but he did go a great deal faster and couldn't be seen properly in this form.

A Shaman, one who communes with nature and uses the power of the elements to rip shit up, heal wounds or rip shit up with melee weapons. He did so enjoy clobbering people with a mace, did he do this often? Fuck no, but that didn't mean he didn't practice during every bit of free time he had.

It happened a few years ago, he was playing World of Warcraft, yes fuck off he enjoys it, eat a dick. Playing a Shaman, yes the same as himself, some crazy magic shit went down and he got given a choice by his grandpa, of all people turns his grandpa was some crazy Demon Lord who really hated politics, and jumped shit into a human world. Anyway, his grandpa show's up out of nowhere and is just like.

"You want some magic?"

"Well yeah..."

"Cool. Works with your imagination. Go nuts."

Duh, magic from something he was familiar with, pfft. Like it was even a question. So his grandpa somehow managed to break the fuck out of reality and 'Charged his mana to be aligned with the desired state'. Basically his G-Daddy juiced him up with magic and now he could use whatever he wanted, he liked Shamans so that's what he went with since he liked games so much more than he liked reality.

And that's how he got Shaman powers. He still raids, now he uses a Hunter though 'cus shamans got fucked over hardcore in the last patch.

"Like every other time!" He looked moodily at the sky, "Blizzaaaaard!" He exclaimed in mock rage.

**Next Day**

School was never fun, whoever said it would be was a lying bag of dicks, dicks that were filled with smaller dicks. Because fuck that lying bastard. He slipped in a single earbud and pretended to listen to the teacher drone on about math, he fuckin' hated math. He did pause for a moment and wonder what exactly he was going to do with his life, his parents were...Wherever the fuck they were, with Grandpa so he was on his own for now. He lived off money that his Grandpa left him, which was fine for now but not exactly good for the long term.

"Where did that old fucker go anyway?" He wondered aloud.

"What was that, Uzumaki-kun?" Asked his teacher, Menma just waved the man off. The dude was nice, he liked his teacher, he just hated the subject.

Maybe he could start a crime family..? That'd be pretty cool. And now that he was, apparently some weird zombie thing, he probably didn't have to worry about dying much. Maybe. He actually had no friggen idea what would happen if he got too old.

A knock at the door stopped the lesson, behind it was the apparent 'Prince of Kuoh' Yuuto Kiba, the blonde pretty-boy who smiled way too fuckin' much. Menma didn't like him. Mostly because people that smiled all the time creeped him the hell out.

"Ah, Tohuro-sensei, I've been sent to retrieve Menma Uzumaki-san, it's a rather important club meeting that he's currently missing out on." Now Menma was presented with two choices, sit in a class that he hated, though liked the teacher of. Or go to a room with a bunch of people he hated, to get out of said class...Oh the choices.

"I'm not in your club, kid. Come back when puberty catches up." Said the black haired male with a dismissive wave of his hand, the hatred that radiated off the girls was delicious.

"Uzumaki-kun, you shouldn't skimp on club duties, if they are of such import that the rest of your club members are doing so, it is your responsibility to go. Come back after you are done and pick up the work you're missing." Said the Teacher with a fond admonishing tone, he enjoyed the black haired youth's pessimism, it was amusing and ironically brightened up his day,.

"Ugh, you know I won't do it anyway." Menma stood up, grabbed his back and waved farewell to the only teacher he liked before walking death row, at least that's what it felt like.

In the hallway Kiba kept on a small smile as Menma progressively got a fouler snarl on his face, "Stop it." Demanded the Shaman, making the blonde raise a confused brow, "Stop fucking smiling so much. I'm sick of your peppy shit. It's insufferable." Growled out the taller male, whilst Kiba seemed to be more fun-sized, Menma was at an even 6 foot. He was quite pleased that he was still growing, he didn't like the idea of being short.

"Ah, apologies, Senpai. I'm just in a good mood today." Replied Kiba. Continuing to smile.

"Oh really." Menma wrapped an arm around the boys shoulders and held a hand before his face, sparking with electricity. "If you don't pull that fake fucking smirk of your pretty little face, you won't have it anymore. Comprende shit head?" Kiba's face fell into a stony silence, Menma moved his hand away and ruffled his hair. "Good bitch." He said with only mild venom in his voice.

"Why Buchou resurrected you of all people, I'll never know." Said Kiba lowly.

"Because the stupid cunt shot me with a big arse red ball of death whilst I was fighting some bondage fetishist. Effectively getting me killed." Kiba's whole body went rigid as Menma spoke, his eyes growing sinister in nature.

"Y-You _dare_ speak about her like that...!" Snarled Kiba as he turned to Menma, the taller merely got in his face and smashed his forehead against the shorter males nose.

"Fuck yes I do, you little twat. Grow up, words only hurt those who let them." As Kiba whined about his nose being broken Menma rolled his eyes, slipping in his second earbud and enjoying the relaxing tunes of the Beetles. He enjoyed most English music, mostly because the people that did that music where he was were always trying to eye-fuck the camera, or make him think with his dick.

He was above such trivial things. Not that the rest of the world was any different, oh no if anything some were worse, that's why he stuck to most of the older stuck and EDM because the video quality was so shit back then that the audio is all you'd want and EDM typically doesn't have many lyrics, just beast that resonate well with him.

"Physical violence on the other hand. Hurts like a bitch, as your whimpering can attest to." Snickered the Uzumaki, normally he didn't pull this kinda crap, but Kiba was undoubtedly on Rias' dick, so would more than likely be one of her little bitch boys. Demons, or Devils whatever the fuck they're called he didn't really listen.

"Aaand the hero enters center stage." He announced opening the door and flicking his hair, "Alright I had my grand entrance I'm bored." He body language shifted as he crossed his arms and walked to the nearest seat. Spotting a couch he made a beeline, pulling out an earbud and crossing his legs in a way that his right ankle sat on his left thigh, looking around the room it looked more like a lavish, but small, house that any bachelor would salivate over. Well, minus the long table in the center that could go, maybe a big TV on one wall with various lovely reality escaping machines.

Menma's eyes glazed over for a moment, slipping into a moment of melancholy, because even if he could do what he could it mattered little. Angels, Devils, all that had no effect where he was.

"Fuck you grandpa, but at the same time...Thanks I guess." Grumbled the Uzumaki, "Fuck these mood swings." Sighing the young man rubbed the ridge of his nose.

"…" He felt a stare on him, turning his gaze to his side and downward he found the source, a short girl with white hair, cat head shaped hair clips and yellow eyes, she wore a female uniform. She was really cute to be honest, he liked cute things.

"Hi." He greeted simply, she merely continued to stare at him, "Something on my face..?" He questioned, touching his cheek, she shook her head but continued to burrow into his soul. "Right." Was all bothered with after that. "Stupid cute things, not annoying me..." He grumbled, blowing a strand of hair away from his eyes.

"You're him." Said the tiny woman. Menma returned his gaze to her, a little confused. "The boy who doesn't like people." She certainly did take that insufferably adorable emotionless petite girl thing to a whole new level.

"Yep." He responded simply.

"Why did Buchou want you in her peerage?" She asked curiously.

"Who knows. She did shoot me with some fireball though." The girls eyebrows raised into her hairline, "Yeah, some winged bondage fetishist decided I was super bad and tried to kill me. Then bam, fireball to the side of my vision, avoided it, died because of that." Explained the black haired male. Letting out a low and sharp whistle he summoned a Spirit Wolf, it put its head on his knee as he began rubbing its head.

The girl let out a hiss and her hair seemed to stand on end, Menma smirked. "He's just a big ol' puppy. Don't be so salty." The wolf began wagging its tail happily. The girl didn't seem to budge on her opinion, so he just ignored her.

"Ah the newest member, welcome Uzumaki-kun." Greeted a silky voice, Menma looked over to see a girl with tits the size of his head, long black hair tied into a ponytail whilst her violet eyes stared amusedly at him, Menma looked her up and down silently for a few moments.

"Hmm..." He hummed aloud, '_Yeah, I'd hit that. Doesn't exactly look like girlfriend material though._' Then again he just generally disliked people, so she could be a perfect woman with a wonderful personality, and due to his nature of being a pessimistic fuck, he just didn't pick up on this. Who knows?

"Oh, straying eyes, fufufu such a dirty look in your eyes." She said with a smirk on her face, Menma's eyes immediately locked with her own, and she felt like she was in the belly of the beast for a flash of a moment.

"I would paint your insides white, lady. But I'm not undressing you with my eyes." He admitted offhandedly, Akeno's cheeks actually went a little pink at that bold statement, unexpectedly honest. She didn't exactly know how to respond.

"How crass..." Came Kiba's voice, the dried blood on his fingertips from trying to block the flow, Menma's face broke into a grin, "Why she bothered with you, I'll never know."

"Want some more broken cartilage little man? I heard there is some in the knee." Menma's sharp canines became quite pronounce at this, Kiba merely grunted in disgust before cleaning himself up. Menma's wolf merely crooned for more attention, the Uzumaki smirked down at the blue beast and placed his hand atop its head.

"Ah, Kiba-kun what happened to your nose?" Came the familiar voice they all knew, for good or ill. Rias appeared, her face crossed with concern.

"He did." Was all the answer that was needed, the Shaman merely chuckled at the blonde's words, Koneko seemed to have calmed and was slowly making moves towards the blue wolf, starring intently at the magical construct.

"Already causing trouble I see..." Sighed the King, her Queen vanishing to fetch some tea. She observed the black haired Shaman intently, his body language had changed from yesterday, he was at ease, he seemed to be in his element at the moment...Whatever that element was, she had no idea. Did he actually like people disliking him?

"Hey, you asked me here. I didn't have to come. Like I said, I'm not joining your little bitch-boy parade." He said easily, gently taking Koneko's hand into his own and smiling at her, placing it atop the wolf's head, who easily leant into the touch. Koneko's little frown disappeared and instead formed a tiny smile.

"Not so bad is it?" He asked quietly, getting a shake of the head in response. His black eyes rose back up to Rias and he stood up to adress her, the wolf moving to sit its head on Koneko's lap as he did so. "So you're going to have to do a lot better than 'Belonging and family' I already have both of those."

"You made yourself public enemy #1 how on earth do you think you have those things!?" Exclaimed Kiba, his eyes dark.

"Well I happen to have an actual family, the fact that I don't know where they are is inconsequential, and I don't need real people to feel like I belong somewhere. Now say you have something for me to turn into paste, then yeah. I'm down, but let's not pretend that we're even trying to be friends. You want my power, I want nothing to do with you. That presents an impasse, so what are you going to do about it? Little princess." Menma crossed his arms, as he looked into Rias' very soul.

"…" Her jaw hung loose and her shoulders were slack, it took a moment for her to realize he was serious. She cursed the situation, if she didn't need more strength in her arsenal then she would have never considered him of all people. "What do you want?" She asked, a frown on her face.

"I want a lot of things, most of all is being left the fuck alone, but since that isn't an option anymore, I suppose...Hmm." Menma brought a hand up to his chin in thought, what did he want? Beating the ever loving shit out of things was obviously a given, no one amassed power for no reason, that'd be pointless. Then a thought occurred to him, theoretically he could use any power he wanted, and the Warlocks did have a certain power. "I want the soul of any Sacred Gear wielder we come across." The dark grin on his face made them all pale.

"Y-you what!?" Shouted Kiba, fuming.

Menma created a purple crystal in his hand, "Soul Shards...Take the power of the fallen to augment my own. Who's to say It won't work on a Sacred Gear. This way, I get stronger for my own desire, and you get a bigger sword, so to speak." With in a second Kiba crossed the room with a sword forming in his hand. The wolf in Koneko's lap turned feral and leapt at the boy a second forming at Menma's side and biting into the Knight's leg.

Kiba fell as the beasts loomed over him, Menma's smirking face only making him rage further. "Someone's grumpy."

"You sick fuck! What kind of person are you! Ripping out people souls just to get stronger! There are other ways to remove a Sacred Gear! Why are you so damned vile!?" Menma shrugged.

"Well I don't know those ways, and I really don't think my moral compass is any of your concern, little man." Menma felt something wrap around his neck, and a shorter figure lock his arms, weighing him down. Looking around he saw Akeno with a whip, that sorted that. And on his back of all places rested Koneko, locking his arms behind his back.

"Let him go." Demanded Rias, anger clear in her face.

"Hmm...So weak you can't even defend your own, not wonder you need help." The words came out a little strangled but he was pretty clear spoken for someone with a rope around his neck. Koneko pulled tighter his arms threatening to give way.

"You do know the angrier you get the happier I am, correct? Go ahead and break a few bones, I don't need my arms to cast, and those wolves tear apart your little White Knight fucker. Choke me out, I set them on you." Menma's grin kept up, even as his eyes slowly became bloodshot from the lack of oxygen.

With a low whistle he called them off, Kiba immediately got up and slammed his fist right into the Shaman's cheek, making him stumble as Akeno's whip left his throat and Koneko got off his back.

"You are scum." Spat the blonde, Menma hand was coated in a green glow, a wave of it seemed to ripple over his body, the bruise that came from the strike vanished, the redness on his neck faded and all the joints in his arms set back properly.

Standing up the Uzumaki kneed the shocked boy right in the sternum before grabbing him by the hair and staring bloody murder into his face, "Mess with the bull, you get the horns. Remember that next time you come at me with a sword because you forgot your tampon you quivering little pussy." Snarled the Shaman, throwing him down.

"Those are my terms, accept them or not. I don't care. I've got shit to do." Menma's wolves gave a howl before vanishing as he walked out of the clubhouse.

"Buchou, you always do bring the best guests." Said Akeno, with a small frown, Rias fell back into her chair and rubbed the ridge of her nose whilst Koneko helped Kiba up.

"Stupid allergies..." She cursed lowly.

**Menma's home.**

Walking into the apartment he was greeted with a small meow, looking down with a beaming smile he saw his grey cat, Miyo looking up at him. "Hello sweetie, how was your day? Did you miss me?" He asked, taking off his shoes and hanging up his bag, the cat meowed once more padding along behind him as he went into the kitchen.

"Oh really? That sounds lovely." He said with a small chuckle, opening the fridge and squatting down onto his haunches, grabbing a drink from the lowest draw of said household appliance, he gave a quick scratch to the cats head and shut the door.

Moving through the house once more he sat at his computer and booted it up, patting his lap as sign to the feline to jump up, she did so and made herself comfortable. This was their day-to-day, get home, grab a drink, play WoW a bit then make dinner, shower, play another hour then bed.

Menma leant back into his chair and sighed contently, "Life might get a little hectic from now on, Miyo. A bunch of cunts are trying to make daddies life hard." The cat merely meowed obliviously and nuzzled his stomach.

"You always know what to say to make my day better."

**End.**

**So yeah, I dunno if anyone will like the consistently foul mouthedly of this incarnation of our friendly protagonist, but hey. That's it for you. **

**R&amp;R if you wanna see more.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**KaruzoHalpha: Yes good sir, he will. As is displayed in the first bit of this chapter actually :).**

**Amused Archer: Just do me a solid, don't call him Naruto. He's not Naruto. If he was I'd call him Naruto. He's Menma. And yes I do agree that the idea of being instantly into sharing and caring is total bullshit, but people are so wrapped up in their Waifu love that they can't create shit. **

**Full disclosure though, I am a big fan of cats, and catgirls in general so this **_**may**_** end up being either a Koneko or Kuroka pairing. Just letting you guys know ahead of time. **_**MAY**_**. There could just as likely not be any pairing at all.**

**Start.**

Menma was face down in his pillow, the consistent breeze provided by the fan he sat next to his bed fluttering his hair and cooling him off, the window at the head of his bed open and letting the chilling air of the night in, Miyo was curled at next to his neck, purring contently as she slept.

All was perfect, he'd done some PVP before bed, so his mind was awash with the screams of frustration of his Guildmates at his constant running off and capturing points without any help, he played a Rogue for PvP sap-caps were his specialty. Stupid alliance, who leaves one person to defend? A figure stood across from his apartment on the rooftop, slowly the being made their way into his room, the shine of the moon piercing the clouds at this moment, revealing a familiar redhead.

She poked and prodded his head, the cat next to him, meowing and hissing at someone invading her territory, "Hmm...Get 'em, Miyo..." He commanded, snuggling back into his pillow that angry cat leapt at the redhead who squealed as the cat began clawing at her face.

Menma rose from his covering like an angered beast, his eyes glowing white with power the seemed to radiate across the room, "What do you want!?" He snarled, Miyo leaving her victim and returning to the bed, sitting on his lap as he stared hatefully at the one to interrupt his rest.

"I uh..Owie!" Rias touched the scratches on her face and whined pitifully, "I came to check on you, I don't know how your healing works but Devils usually don't heal that fast from Light Based attacks." She explained as a familiar pair of wolves formed next to the Shaman, "I swear that's all!" She squeaked out.

Menma's eyes faded in their glow, he gestured one of the wolves over to the wall, it stood on its back legs and turned on the lights before the both disappeared. Miyo ducking under the covers to avoid the light, Menma squinted at Rias in annoyance.

"At 3 in the morning!? Seriously woman what's in your head!" Snarled the Wolfmaster, making her shrink back, "Why not just ask me this in the morning!"

"Because Light acts like a poison to our bodies! If it's not fixed quickly you'll get really sick and die!" She quickly explained, she'd never felt so flustered before, usually people she resurrected took what she said and accepted it.

"Yeah well get on my level, Riptide does its work." With a flick of his wrist his form was showered with magical waters, though they didn't have the same effect as real water, instead healing his body. "I don't need your help." He snapped venomously, "Because last time you did that I DIED!"

Rias flushed with shame, "I just want to make it up to you..." She whispered.

"Then don't come into my house and wake me up! Strike one, you fucked that up." Said Menma as he shook his head and flopped back into bed, Rias sighed and shook her head, "Get. In." Said the Uzumaki, her head shot back up.

"What?"

"Get in the bed, or get the fuck out." Said the Shaman, he'd already closed his eyes and laid on his side. He heard the rustling of clothing and looked up to see the redhead stripping down to her birthday suit. "I don't even care anymore." He muttered as a body slid up next to his own, he had a double bed, she didn't have to be that close.

Then again, his little plan did seem to work, she was desperate enough to earn his affection to get in bed with him. He could work this to his own desire, mainly getting to stick his dick in her. That'd be quite nice, whilst he hated her from a moral standpoint she did have a nice body and he wanted to ravage the every loving fuck out of her lower half as payback.

He didn't think with his dick, he did however like sex.

She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, Miyo did not like this and bat at her head with her paw. "Turn around..." Sighed Menma, quietly she did so and adjusted her down slightly before wrapping his arms around her, just under her breasts and put his chin on her head.

Rapidly he began thinking through the various games in his collection, for something that could twist this situation in his favour...It hit him light lightning a grin lit up on his face, with a click of his fingers another wolf appeared and turned off the light, "Rias..." He whispered, she craned her neck around to look him in the eye, hope shining in them at the thought that this worked to find the very gooey centre of the grumpy Shaman.

"Be mine...For now. _Charm..._" Thank you Ahri, you wonderful vixen you. His eyes glowed pink as he pressed his lips against hers, Rias' blue eyes shifted into a pink glaze, the way he understood Charm was that it took whatever attraction someone had for you and kicked it into overdrive, until they could think of nothing but you.

Miyo meowed before jumping out of her spot and onto the end of the bed, curling up and going to sleep, knowing just what her owner was going to do.

Rias began clamoring for his lips, almost ripping off his plain black shirt that he slept in to get to his skin, wrapping her legs around his waist to pull down his pants.

In the back of his head Menma grinned, revenge was apparently warm and involved lots of flesh slapping, good thing he kept condoms in his nightstand.

**Next morning**

Menma awoke to the sensation of being snuggled, opening his eyes and turning off his alarm with a depress of a button he sighed, rubbing his tired eyes, he'd never gone that many rounds before, after the unceremonious cherry pop Menma and Rias had rutted like a pair of wild animals for 4 or 5 more orgasms each, he didn't exactly have a tally for her so he just assumed that becoming a quivering mess was her orgasm. If not than holy shit.

He felt he'd gotten back at her sufficiently, and he didn't make a habit of being a massive cunt to people he had sex with, so tallying up the fact she killed him, then they fucked, his general dislike of people he'd treat her with only his mild hatred. He felt that was pretty generous, the fact that some super being now did give him a little bias. And whilst he was an ass man she did have killer tits.

"Oi..." Said the Uzumaki, pinching her nipple, the girl's back arched as her eyes rapidly opened. Immediately they went all doughy and she kissed his cheek, Menma blinked, perhaps the spell was still working?

"G'morning..." She whispered, wrapping around him tighter. "Last night was unexpected, but really fun." She added, looking up at him with those big blues.

'_What the fuck? No one reacts this way. They usually give me a "Oh wow that really happened, crazy night huh?" or something like that not the look of "Give me your babies." the fuck good is going on sir?_' Menma could not provide an answer for his brain, but thankfully Miyo came to the rescuse.

"Meow." Purring and rubbing on his cheek, Menma smiled lightly and scratched her ear.

"Yeah, that stamina of yours is pretty impressive I gotta say." He said, pulling the covers off himself and detangling himself, and lightly playing with her hair as he departed for the shower.

"C'mon Miyo I'll get you some food before I shower." Rias could swear the little cat was glaring at her, before meowing happily and padding off after her owner.

Rias was positively aglow, it could not have gone better, now she'd found someone to contest Riser _and_ to be with, all in one night. She knew he wasn't all bad, he _did_ have a soft spot.

Poor deluded girl.

With Menma he idly adjusted his boxers and poured Miyo's food into her bowl, "There ya go, sweetheart. Eat up, 'kay?" He said with a closed eye smile, Miyo got on her back legs and licked his nose and he had squatted down to pour her food, "Oh you, don't distract me with a good time." He said, tapping her little nose with a finger before chuckling to himself, oh how he amused himself so.

"Shower time~ Time for a shower of manly moistness~." He sang out pointlessly, setting up his ipod in across the room from the actual shower and putting on 'The Wombats - Joy Division', he did enjoy a good get up and go for the morning kinda song. Tossing of his boxers and his trunks he got into the shower.

"Oh fuck that's cold!" He exclaimed with a hiss, though sighed contently as it warmed up, "Better." One of the benefits of a shower instead of the usual bath people had, when you washed the various dirt of the day off you, it went away not floated around you. He reached for his shampoo but was confused when it wasn't in its usual spot. Whiping the water away from his eyes and flicking his hair away he jumped a little when the redhead he'd just got through rutting with was holding it, smiling.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked, impishly.

"Yeah whatever, yoink." He quickly grabbed the shampoo and began lathering his hair up, Rias slid in the shower next to him, pressing herself against him Menma didn't even budge as he washed out his hair.

"Watch out." He announced with a sigh, after he cleaned out his hair he moved to place the shampoo back and grab the conditioner, idly taking a whiff of her hair, "What do you use in your hair?" He asked curiously. One eye open as his hair fell down his face.

"Lavender and mint herbal blend." She answered lathering herself up with soap, Menma's eyes caught where she happened to be paying the most attention. He rinsed out his hair and smoothed his hair back to reveal his face in full.

Blankly he looked at her as she shamelessly massaged her boobs with soap, "You know soap dries out your skin and I don't have any more moisturizer." He said, she just grinned widely, at him and pushed herself up against him.

"Let's go again..." She demanded lustfully, Menma was about to grouch about being ignored but then he remembered.

He liked sex.

With a shrug he put her back under the falling water and rinsed her off, taking the soap out of her hand and putting it back before digging into her neck and biting and sucking it roughly. Rias squealed as he kept getting her weak spot, she moved her hands down to their collective nether regions, readying herself and jerking him to get it nice and hard.

"Miyo, fetch!" Shouted out Menma suddenly the sound of tiny feet bustling around the house before she appeared in the bathroom with a carbord box in her mouth, Menma took it and nudged his head, she immediately vacated the area.

"She's pretty well trained for a cat..." Commented Rias wide eyed at the display as Menma put his sheath on.

"Yeah well I've had her for a while." He said absently, grasping himself and positioning himself with her, slamming in with force, she wrapped arms around his neck and put a leg around his waist.

**Later at school.**

Rias had left after their shower excursion, Menma still had to lock up and all that so he merely nodded as she bid him goodbye. He had the sneaking suspicion she didn't know the usual aftermath of a one-night stand. Which was obvious as he took her virginity but then again she didn't seem to really care at the time.

See, Charm worked by multiplying already there affection, if someone had an aversion to something like loosing their V-card it wouldn't work when they arrived at the main course, they fucked like rabbits so she obviously didn't put that much stock in it.

Which was fine with him but damn did she stick around for too long. He was all for hanging out with your fuck-buddy or whatever, but didn't she have like some Devil shit to do?

He bid his sweetheart good bye, she gave a pitifully sad meow as per every day, he had to give her an extra big hug as he left just to make her stay in the house, grabbed his wallet and locked up. He checked his phone as he was walking to school, no messages as usual.

"Well fuck you too, everyone on my contacts lists. I didn't want to talk to you anyway." He rolled his eyes and tucked it into his pocket then stuck both his hands into his pockets as well, it was too bright today, so he walked with his head down and let his hair shade his eyes.

"Sometimes having black hair works to my advantage. That day is today." Once more amused he let out a small chuckle, "Wish all the people at this school weren't such quivering little cunts, I could do with someone besides myself to speak with." He lamented with a dramatic sigh.

"Woe is me."

"Psst..." Menma turned at the sound, flipping his hair back as he did so, it came from a trio. One brunette boy with medium length hair and red eyes, one boy with glasses and shorter black hair, and finally a bald kid. All of them were 'stealthily' calling him over.

"What do you little shits want?" Spat Menma, narrowing his gaze.

"We saw you were looking rather down today, Menma-san...Would you care to join us in looking at the kendo class girls prepare for their activities..?" Menma's face became emotionless.

"You should all go kill yourself, preferably by hanging so I can watch." Menma went back to walking as all of them fell to the ground face first, with little white signs through their hearts that read 'Kill ourselves?'.

Menma hated those three, they were insufferably pathetic. He may hate people but those three were fucking parasites on humanity as a collective.

"Oh my god I can't believe I never thought of using Dark Souls spells...Oh my lawd someone's getting a Soul Spear to the face, and I'm going to love that moment." He almost did a little dance but kept himself under control, breaking into a job he made his way to the dickhead clubhouse, they'd know where someone could test his new ideas on would be, right?

**Club House**

"Congratulations it's me!" he bellowed as he kicked the door in, as he walked in, he frowned at the sight of no-one being there. "This is what I get for being early. Fuckers." He clicked his tongue before sinking into the couch, stretching out and lying down.

"May as well catch up on the sleep I missed out on."

**Later...**

Issei Hyoudou was being escorted to the Occult Research Club his the prettiest boy on campus, was he jealous of Kiba's looks? Yes, because it made the boy able to have a harem of willing women, and he _didn't_ use that power! What a weirdo. Maybe he was gay? That'd make a bunch of sense.

The more Issei thought about it the more he was confident his new friend indeed batted for the other team. But he would not judge Kiba for this, it wasn't a problem in Issei's eyes, when all those girls who pined after Kiba found out, they'd all need someone to comfort them. And then, he would swoop in like a master of the shadows.

"Whoosh!" Announced Issei, Kiba had a sweat drop on his head, Issei didn't think internally very well, and kept muttering his thoughts. He was _not_ gay, he just had more respect for women than to use them in any tawdry way for his own desires, that and his heart did belong to his King, she had done so much for him.

That's why he needed to be stronger so he could stop Riser from taking his Buchou away from him and finally work up the courage to confess his love.

As the pair entered the clubhouse they came upon the sight of Koneko being hugged by a sleeping Menma, he yawned and muttered about his 'Sweetheart Miyo-chan'. The colour in Kiba's face drained at the sight, whilst Issei merely whistled at the sight. The school Mascot in the arms of the school's 'Most Hated Boy'.

"Fufufu, Koneko-chan went in arms reach of him and he must have caught her scent, because he immediately reached out for his 'Dear Miyo-chan' and Koneko just couldn't resist, could you darling?" She asked sweetly, a smile on her face.

"Senpai smells nice..." She said quietly, blushing as he rubbed her stomach and nuzzled her head.

"When did you get so big, Miyo-chan..?" He asked sleepily.

"For such a foulmouthed guy he's really weird when he's asleep." Said Issei, raising a brow.

"I smell fuckhead." Menma's eyes shot open in a second, he was upright and sitting with Koneko on his lap, her skirt did ride up slightly much to her dismay as Issei's eyes immediately shot towards her slowly exposing legs.

"Hentai..." She cursed, staring at him.

"When did you get on my lap..?" Asked Menma, standing up and placing the smaller being on her feet, patting and creases in her uniform off.

"You asked for Miyo-chan."

"Oh my cat." He said with a chuckle, "Sorry about that, you and her do smell a little similar. You got a cat, little miss?" he asked, going in for the metaphorical kill. He'd gotten her talking more than one word.

"No." She said shortly, taking her spot once more, Menma sight but pat her head, her little smile was enough for now. But he did feel the need to balance out his niceness.

"Ah, fuck-knuckle and bootlicker. A displeasure to see you again." Instead of bowing Menma merely flipped them both off and grabbed a seat at the table, kicking his feet up with a yawn.

"There we go, balance is restored." Said Issei with a sagely nod.

"I'll break your neck if you keep talking." Threatened the Uzumaki breezily, wisely the boy shut up.

"Why are you here, scum-san? I doubt Buchou agreed to your terms." That grin on Menma's face chilled Kiba's blood.

"Oh I'm just here to see the fireworks, bootlicker. Don't mind me one bit."

"I'll endeavor to ignore the stench of wet dog." Sniped Kiba, gesturing Issei sit down, the pale boy did so, the ease with which his life was threatened had never bothered him before, but the ice in Menma's eyes had made him genuinely think the older boy was serious.

"You know twatty-cakes, I don't think anyone has ever had the balls to bother verbally sparring with me as you have. Ever thought of using that kind of energy productively? Like perhaps attempting to go through puberty? Or did daddy not give you the talk about becoming a man, so you decided to be a girl like mother dearest...Where are they by the by?" Asked Menma in mock interest, he saw something snap in Kiba's eyes, his fingernails scratching into the wood of the table.

"Oh..? Did I hit a nerve?" Goaded the Imaginative Magician.

"You!" Not only was it Kiba's voice, instead it was two voices, and both voices seemed to be confused at the other. A bunch of runes had appeared in the room, three to be precise. One revealed Rias, who seemed more than happy to see him, oh joy.

One was a man with red hair much like Rias' own, he had the same blue eyes and skin tone, he wore some kind of robe that looke vaguely royal in nature, with a mantle/cape combo to boot.

Finally was a silver haired woman with silver-grey hair, cold icy grey eyes and cherry red lips, painted obviously. She wore a less slutty version of a french maid uniform, Menma had never seen that worn with class, this woman had class and he could respect that.

"Me! Him, Her, them. US!" Proclaimed the Shaman rapidly, before he pointed at the red haired man, "Now who the fuck are you and why are you randomly shouting shit!"

"You took my darling sisters innocence!" Then proceeded to lunge at the younger man, Menma chuckled and was cone in a blink of dark purple magic, "Blink. 20 yard range, more than enough to avoid you until you get tired, champ. I've taken many a woman's innocence none of them seemed to mind. Why so mad, bro?" Asked Menma, leaning on a wall with one arm. Smirking without any remorse whatsoever.

Then Kiba seemed to join in, whilst Issei fainted, Akeno and Koneko looked towards a blushing Rias with wide eyes. "Is that so, Buchou?" Asked the Half Fallen.

"Yes..." Admitted the redhead, "Oh Akeno is was wonderful...I've never felt something so profound in my life." She told the black haired girl quietly who only giggled into her hand.

"My, my. I had no idea you were so...Liberated, Buchou." Rias hit Akeno's shoulder as she blushed, hushing her, only serving to amuse the girl further.

"Giving up yet, sparkles?" Asked Menma, Serzechs looked confused for a moment before he shook it off and returned to trying to strangle the younger man, whilst Kiba attempted to stab him full of holes.

"I'll kill you!" The pair declared.

"Oh my! Such ferocity!" Mocked Menma, laughing loudly before kicking the door open and Blinking several feet away. Kiba and Serzechs stood out together, followed by the rest of the group. Kiba with sword in hand whilst the Lucifer had a really, _really _mean look on his face.

It had impact, trust me.

"I don't see the big deal, we just had a bit of bedsheet bounty between two consenting people." Menma said with a shrug, yawning into his hand, with a sharp whistle he summoned his Wolves who snarled at the ready to defend their creator.

"I can guess you do this out of brotherly love, respect dude." Menma pat his chest with a closed fist before pointing at a confused Sirzechs. Before his eyes turned sinister and their fell on Kiba.

"But you...Is this out of duty? Or is it something more...?" Goaded Menma as Kiba lunged at him, he sidestepped the enraged Knight and kicked him in the back of the knee forcing him to kneel. Grabbing his hair whilst his wolves disarmed the boy, he turned him and squatted next to Kiba as they both looked towards Rias.

"I get it now..." Kiba looked anywhere but his King as he could _hear_ that dog's infernal grin. "Someone has a little crush...And I just _fucked_ your crush. Did you know we did it again in the shower this morning. I've never met a girl who could go 5 rounds in the sack and then again a few hours later. It was pretty good I must say, she's definitely a good one. Shame I still hate her guts on principal but these things pass with time don't they...And If it destroys you than...How could I say no?" He whispered, Kiba's eyes widened.

"She'll never know...She get's to be happy, I can get to watch as it slowly crushes your soul." Menma leant in extra close for his next bit, "Don't fuck with me, kid. I takes a man to slay the beast, not a boy squishing bugs." He let go of his hair, his wolves howling as the vanished, Menma stood up and cast a Riptide on the boy, then again no amount of healing could fix his ego.

Menma grinned and waved at Rias who demurely reciprocated, Kiba's eyes were wide as wide could get, he'd gone into shock at what he'd heard. The Wolf went back to the group and dropped a crooked grin, "Here's hoping he's off his hissy fit now." With a shrug the boy walked through the group, stopping to lock eyes with Rias who looked up at him, leaning down and gently laying a kiss on her cheek he left with a wink back into the clubhouse.

Once he was inside Menma almost shivered, '_I don't do relationships...This. This will be my greatest quest yet.' _Looking down he saw the passed out Issei and kicked the boy in the ribs before returning to his seat.

**End.**

**It's so easy to write when it's essentially hate-porn.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Izana Uzumaki: So...That was a thing I experienced. Your review started of well enough and slowly turned into...Your review. It's not really like drugging someone, due to the fact that date-rape isn't exactly something I envision when I write, just don't overthink this shit as you clearly have. I don't believe I've seen any angst, because to me he's just a guy having fun at other peoples expense, I can gather you've never done this. There is no 'line' you have your own opinion of too far and I have mine. Menma didn't beat him in a fight, I have no idea how you even came to this, he dodged a man who wasn't seriously trying to kill him for a few minutes. Kiba was the only one with a dog in that race, Sirzechs was just acting as I assume a Sis-con would when their sister tells them she's been railed. I think you need to calm your shit sir/ma'am, because it's just a story that's shooting the shit. What part of 'Don't take it seriously' in the first chapter didn't you catch? **

**kevASH619: Cheers for the liking of my stuff. And yeah I can agree with that, it's probably one of the reasons I made this, initially it was to piss of Waifu's but I realized I don't have the power to force them to read this and bleed emotionally. You guys are pretty great though.**

**guisniperman: It's not to make 100% sense brochompskie, it's just a bit of fun :).**

**AeroSpeedNinja: I don't.**

**Now I'd like to just throw this to you little darlings. A limit is only imposed if one knows of one, or creates one. Menma doesn't know of any kind of limit on his Magic besides his own physical exhaustion, since I didn't care to think more than 2 minutes on the initial idea. There you have it. The story is just supposed to be a bit of fun to read, not a fucking epic.**

**Am I irritated, no. That's just my speech pattern. Learn to love it.**

**Start.**

Menma may have jumped the gun on that little rumble in the sack, as it appears Rias had gone to the Underworld, Devil Central, and told mother dear and daddy. Which in turn annulled some contract she had with some other dude he really wished he'd known about beforehand, now it seemed that guy was on his way to kill him, which was fine with him he liked destroying things.

Idly he stared at the ceiling whilst in his chair, it was the weekend and he'd never been so grateful for the two days of peace in his life. "We earned this Miyo...C'mon to the TV." He rolled his chair down the hallway and into the living room, leaving it in the corner as he lay across the couch. The cat quickly joining him, "What to watch..." He murmured before a knocking came at his door. "I'll kill them if that isn't my pizza, Miyo. I swear I'll do it, I might just fuckin' kill the cunts for not waiting a few minutes for me to have sat down."

"Meow~." Yawned the little creature, rolling onto her back and stretching out as soon as he made to get up.

"Don't doubt me, Miyo. I'll do it." He argued, wagging his finger only getting another meow in response, Menma rolled his eyes and stood up, opening the door it was not his lunch Pizza. It was in fact Rias, Akeno and Koneko.

Rias wore a cleavage displaying red shirt with a black skirt, she had black skin-tight leggings on under said skirt, making it pointless and a pair of slightly heeled red sandal looking things.

Akeno wore a slightly more conservative, probably not the right word considering who he was talking about, outfit. This however did not stop him from wanting to tear off her clothes and fuck her raw against the wall. A navy blue dress over denim jeans and awesomely, black converse, though they weren't high-tops so she wasn't as cool as he was.

Finally Koneko, she wore a white shirt with dark blue vest over it, and a sky blue skirt, on her deliciously pale legs she had striped knee socks, dark blue and white, and finally a pair of dark blue shin-high boots. Menma had no idea she'd gone and looked at his various boxes but she was ticking a few right now, pale? Check. Knee socks? Check. Striped? Check. Shorter than him? Double Check.

The desire filled growl that threatened to leave his throat at the sight of these three was intense, but represed. '_Down Menma, you can't just think with your dick like that. These are __**people**__you want to fuck, not just things._' He almost nodded at his brains wonderfully useless advice.

"We're going to the movies, come along!" Chimed Rias, Menma rose a brow, he couldn't help but notice bootlicker wasn't there, he was so totes sad right now you gaiz. (Heavy Sarcasm)

"What movie?" Asked Menma, leaning against the doorway, Koneko slid around him, taking a pat on the head for her troubles and began exploring his apartment.

"We haven't decided yet..." Admitted Rias, "But we were just going to decide when we got there."

"Kitty..." Came Koneko's voice, Menma rose a brow and turned to see her holding Miyo in her arms, smiling that little smile. "Is this Miyo?" She asked, patting the cat on the head, who seemed to be reveling in her touch.

"Yep, that's Miyo. Not really a fan of people, someone has a little special talent with cats, little miss." He said with a chuckle, Koneko just shrugged and continued to pat the purring fur ball.

"I s'pose I'll tag along. I'm not really doing anything anyway, Raid resets are Wednesday and we've already cleared Highmaul...Again." Now he continued muttering to himself about something involving some 'Ogres' and 'Pasty ass Orcs'.

Rias was really curious.

Akeno was a little interested when he mentioned something about body piercings.

"You can come in, stop standing at the door like lemmings." Came his voice down the hallway as the shower started up. Miyo meowed at Koneko who's face went a little pink.

"Having a naughty conversation with the house cat, Koneko-chan?" Asked Akeno as she and Rias closed the door and made their way into the lounge room. The white haired girl following with grey cat at her heels.

"She asked if I'm going to be another one of Menma-senpai's conquests." Akenko laughed into her hand whilst Rias giggled, before looking at the cat curiously.

"Why you specifically?" Asked the redhead, not really defensive on the matter since she already had him.

"He like's catgirls. Apparently." Said Koneko, looking at the cat with a critical eye.

"That is one insightful cat...What else does she know?" Asked Akeno, deviously.

**A few minutes later**

Menma stood before his wardrobe deciding, he'd called up to cancel his order for delicious pizza and was currently in the puzzle of what to garb his lovely self in. "Hmm..." The amount of black clothes he owned was startling...

He settled on a black t-shirt and denim jeans, because he was a man of simple taste, and enjoyed comfort. Collecting said clothing he grab some underwear and tossed the towel around his waist off, towards the door, a small muffled 'Oh' drew his attention, Akeno was at his door.

"Can I help you or did you just wanna see my dick?" Asked Menma, sliding on his trunks so she could stop covering her eyes, her fingers were parted though. Insert eye roll here.

"I was just seeing if you were almost ready...I had no idea I'd get such a delicious view." Asked the pink faced girl. Menma chuckled at her face and quickly finished getting dressed, put on his belt and finally a pair of black and white converse high-tops because he felt like it, and he wanted to have that moment with Akeno where they had matching shoes, though from the look on her face, she would not give him this.

"So Akeno darling dearest, apply of my eye. How exactly does this little situation I've got myself into work?" Asked the Uzumaki making her raise a brow in confusion, "Well I don't know how the politics of it all works, since I and Rias hooked up and this Riser guy is pissed, what happens to the marriage contract, thingamabob." He asked with a shrug, grabbing his necklace and a pair of silver rings, one on each middle finger, they were little skulls.

"Gremory-sama will more than likely demand you take Riser's place as you took Rias' maidenhood." Replied the black haired girl, making Menma stand stock still for a second, he turned to look at her with shock written on his face. "You didn't have any inclination..?" She asked curiously.

"No." He replied shortly, with a frown crossing his face. "Who knew having a little skinship would land me in this kind of hot water...Fuck." Cursed the black haired male, rubbing his forehead. His eyes shooting over to his phone momentarily.

"I'm sure you could talk them into putting it off until both of you have come to a decision." Assured Akeno, patting his shoulders as he looked at the ceiling.

"Married...Not my kinda thing, god I hope she isn't so into the idea..." He admitted, Akeno raised a brow.

"Not interested in Buchou now, hmm? Someone certainly changed their mind quickly." She teased lightly.

"That's not it. I just don't like the idea of one person for eternity. I'm only 17, getting hitched at this age? Fucking hell no, ask again in a decade maybe." Said Menma, making Akeno's eyes widen slightly.

"Oh-ho!" She exclaimed softly, slowly tracing circles in his back as he did his hair. "Not a one-woman kind of man I see...Polygamy is always an option if you become a High-ranking Devil."

"I don't think you seem to get it, Akeno. I don't really date, or do relationships in general. It's just not my cup of tea, I don't do the emotional shit very well and I just don't really care about other peoples problems that much unless said person needs to vent at someone who won't give them any kind of fucking pity." Listed off the dark eyed dude. "I just...Don't have the energy to care." He finished with a sigh and a shrug.

"You are a very interesting person, Menma-san." Said Akeno, looking at him intently.

"Not really. I just say what I mean." Said the male with a shrug. "Alright, I'm sufficiently fabulous. Let's go." He'd slipped in a pair of blue 2mm blue earrings, the only reason he wore them was because he had a massive hard-on for the legend of Zelda franchise and liked the rings the Protagonist of Time wore.

In life, he was a dick to people, he'd admit that. But in fiction, he just didn't have the heart. Never played Renegade in Mass Effect because he was too attached to the characters to upset them. Sad really. Maybe that was why he was so nice to his Guildmates?

Meh. Don't care right now.

"I didn't pick you for the type to wear so much jewelry." Admitted the black haired girl, looking him up and down.

"I wear whatever I'm in the mood for." Replied the Shaman with a shrug, flicking out his hair once more before leaving the room, Akeno following shortly after, tossing the towel she'd been holding that whole time into the bathroom on the dirty clothes basket.

"Alright, ladies. Let's roll." Said Menma as he entered the lounge room, Miyo sitting happily on Koneko's lap, said girl was unable to look him in the eye whilst Rias looked thoroughly amused.

"'Kay...What happened while I was gone?" Asked the Sorcerer.

"Koneko is a creature known as a Nekoshou. She's essentially a cat-girl." Said Rias with a smirk on her face, Koneko's face flamed a little brighter.

"So?" Asked the Uzumaki, hands in pockets ignoring his inner desires screaming at him to pluck the white haired girl from where she sat and not leave the room for several hours.

"She can talk to cats. Miyo-chan has been telling us quite a lot about you."

"If this is about my various fetishes you're going to have to bark up another tree, I'm not going to blush like bootlicker or get a bloody nose like Useless." Said the Uzumaki flippantly, sharply whistling, Miyo left Koneko's lap and came to his side, "Someone's been a bad girl, Miyo. Tsk tsk tsk. Won't even talk to me but you'll talk to Koneko. Hurt my feelings why don't ya." Shaking his head he grabbed the keys to his apartment and gestured everyone out, "We'll be back in a bit, sweetheart."

"Meow."

"Come home safe dear." Translated Koneko, Menma turned to the girl and smirked.

"Can I just keep you? I'm sure I could tempt you somehow."

"No."

"Oh my aching heart." Said the male sarcastically.

**2 Hours later.**

"Good movie." Said the dude, stretching out and shaking his legs slightly, the small weight on his back barely registering. Koneko had apparently not liked the movie.

"I've never seen so much gore in my life..." Said Rias, pale faced.

"So much blood..." Muttered Akeno.

"You guys are such pansies. That was tame as fuck." Replied the Uzumaki with a shrug, the shivering of the girl on his back made him sigh, damn his love of cute things. He readjusted her so she was on his front, "Puck up sunshine, it's all done now." He 'comforted'. "I hate to say I told you so though...Wait no I don't I revel in it." He turned to the two older girls and smirked deviously, chuckling at their pale faces.

All of sudden Akeno's face went dark as a rolling storm, Menma rose a brow at her before Koneko's seemed to go stiff as well, quickly detangling herself from him, Menma looked between the three women accommodating him and queried, "What?"

"Strays..." Said Rias lowly, "Quickly, we have to get someone less populated." The girls quickly dashed off, Menma looked around not smelling anything particularly devilish. Looking around his sight quickly bled into some bastardized mix between x-ray and heat vision, "_Hunter Vision..._" Whispered the male, softly.

All the crowd around him, exiting the theatre was orange, as the average joe human typically was, but there were two beings, with bright blue burning right in their veins, he made his way towards them and that seemed to set them off, they were off like bats out of hell immediately ducking into an alley and making their way out ASAP.

Menma did not give up the hunt, however. He was more than ready to whet his appetite for bloodshed. '_That's right...Run you little cunts. I'll catch you and I'll rip you apart, because I damn well want to._' Fleet of foot he hopped a wire fence onto a nearby roof and began the chase in proper. They took off into flight, the pair of them having black wings burst from their sides and take them into the air, Menma merely laughed.

"Fly, fuckers. FLY!" Tapping into the element of air, "Al'Akir, I summon your power!" His arms lit up with lightning and he made a downward pulling motion and struck the pair of them with lightning, as cover up he summoned up a '_Thunderstorm_' spell. Whilst usually this would summon a strike of lightning, with the right sprinkling of happiness and children's souls, he made the word be the spell instead of the graphic from the game.

And no, he didn't actually need to bother with the Spell-Speech, he just felt it added a certain flavour. A zest of sexy wordsmith-ery.

The lightning struck them both and he immediately took off into the air towards their crash zone, the thunderstorm rolling in clearing the streets quickly, the pair crashed a few streets away, he landed with an almighty thump but did not even crack the ground, it's a little something called self-control children.

"Alright you little sacks of shit, I've had to play nice all friggen day and I'm ready to skull-fuck someone." Cracking his knuckles he saw the pair slowly rise, supporting one another as they did so.

"P-please! Leave us alone!" Said a boy, he seemed, in appearance anyway, about a year or so younger than Menma, he had bright blond hair and silvery green eyes. He wore a red vest over a white long-sleeved shirt, baggy denim jeans and white sneakers.

The other was a girl, they appeared to be twins, she had short pigtails the same shade as the boys hair colour, her eyes were a silvery purple colour instead of green though. She wore a dark blue dress/shirt thing and white pants, though as they were quickly becoming see-through in the downpour he could see her blue and white striped panties, she also had dark grey ballet flats on.

"Why would I do that?" Asked Menma, leaning one his right leg slightly and grinning down at them.

"Because we've done nothing wrong! Akashi-sama disowned us!" Shouted out the girl, still oblivious to her visible nether, "It isn't out fault that we lost the Rating Game!" Visible little tears gathered in her eyes, the boy trying his best to comfort her, but they were both charged with electricity so ended up shocking one another.

Menma's face went blank, "So?" His answer shocked them both, "I don't understand, you're weak. Obviously you weren't strong enough to get terms in your favour to even be fucking useful, you little sacks of flesh should be greatful. Now, please. Struggle, it's no fun if you don't." Menma grinned as his wolves appeared, shoving an open palm forward he summoned an Earthbind Totem, the Totem was like a Tauren's, a winged slim pole with a vaguely bovine face carved into the front, and horns on the top.

Roots sprung up from the ground and dug into their legs, the pair did their best to get out of the roots. The boy tried conjuring flames to burn them, but the flames died out in the torrential rain. Menma's mop of black thorns that he called hair was damp and stuck to him, but it was oh so worth it.

"_Frost Shock!_' Shouted the man, striking the boy in the chest with the force of car, tearing him out of the roots but also bloodying up his legs as it happened.

"Tepei-nii!" Shouted the girl, distressed, struggling even more to get out of the roots, the Totem pulsing every few seconds, it apparently did not occur to her that if she struck the Totem the roots would dispel.

"Go." Ordered the Shaman to the wolves who leapt on the boy and mauled the fuck out of him, blood and screams were equal in volume.

"No!" Wailed the girl, breaking down in tears as Menma stalked towards her, his arm bathed in purple energy, "NO! LIMIT BREAK!" Shouted the girl, breaking from the roots, swathed in blue light and ran directly at the wolves, shattering them the second she came into contact with them, the creatures leaving a whispy howl on the wind, Menma rose a brow but kept his stride.

"Soul Drain..." Intoned the man, the purple energy shot from his arm and sunk into Tepei's rapidly expiring body, sucking the power right out of the boys veins, the purple energy leached all the power that the boy had before flowing back to Menma in a stream and forming a Soul Crystal, shards were for pussies.

"You...You killed him! Why! WHY! WHY!" Screamed the girl, her sclera flooding with red as did her skin, horns shot from her forehead, as did a pair of _proper_ demonic wings, looking very akin to a bats wings, she dove at him and Menma merely shook his head, biting into the crystal making the berserk teenie-bopper's eyes widen in horror, swallowing one half and than the second as she came upon him, he caught her by the throat and watched with sick satisfaction as she kicked and swung at him.

"I must say...I've never really killed before but it does give a certain...Rush." Menma grinned darkly as the same purple energy sprung up on the arm holding the girl, "No die. I'll take what you have thank you." Said Menma, his lips curling into a disturbing smile as he buried his free hand into her stomach, the shower of gore the rocketed out of her back sprayed across the corpse of her brother, "Till death do you part."

The Soul Drain leeched all of her power, reverting the girl from her demonic form to that of a simple child once more, he tossed the empty sack of meat onto the first useless fleshbag and held out his hand for the water goodness that is rain to clean it off.

"I just took two lives...And I felt nothing. What does that say about me? I wonder." He though with a small hum of confusion, "I don't feel any different. If anything the power kick I'm on now seems to be lifting my spirits more than usual...Oh well. I'm bored of this day, I'm going home." He _could_ contact the women, but he didn't want to bother. He had more important shit to do instead of playing nice all day.

It would be worth it though, when the girls got the impression he wanted and Kiba finally snapped, the blond would look like a complete psycho and he could use that to his advantage, slowly fracturing the Peerage and ruining the red haired cumsleeve that was his 'King'. Well, technically the condoms were his cumsleeve, but you get the point.

She was the hole he was using at the moment. Sure he could ride the train into her family's power place and use that as a base to rip apart the system just for the lol's.

Actually that sounded pretty good. Let's do that, so drive Kiba crazy, but don't break the place-holder harem head's power structure.

It didn't take him long to reach home, Menma shucked off his wet socks and shoes before trudging through the house with various wet sounds. "Miyo...?" He called out, getting a tired meow in response, more than likely she was napping on his bed, she did that whenever it rained.

As he threw off his shirt into the dirty clothes basket his phone rang, he knew he'd forgetten something today, quickly slipping into his room to grab it he flipped it open, yeah flip phone what? Got a fucking problem!? Style points bitches.

"Yello?" He asked grabbing a towel and throwing it over his head to soak up the water until he was done with the call.

"_Uzumaki-ku...-san._" Came a familiar.

"Oh well if it isn't my favourite School Council head, how'ya doin' Souna. It's been too long, don't you know how lonely my apartment gets without you hear, darling?" Asked the black eyed male with a visible smile on his face, the pair had been on-again off-again dating for a while now, probably 4 months or so? She was apparently from some wealthy family and he had no intention of fucking up her life if her parents were super set on what kind of guy they wanted their daughter to marry.

She was his Achilles heel, you could say. The only person he couldn't tear down.

Pathetic really, it made him feel all weak and gooey. What he said to Akeno was true, more or less. But Souna didn't seem to really care, and still wanted to be with him in for some reason. She just...Accepted the way he was and didn't try to change him, only accepted him, knowing that he had an odd way of showing he...Ugh, _cared_.

Dirty dirty dirty word!

"_I'm not in the right company to speak of that right now_." Said Sona, though you could hear the faint smirk in her voice.

"Then come over. It's raining, I'll make ya somethin' nice and we can be a pair of fags and cuddle on the couch or whatever it is you like doing with me, for C'thun only knows why." He said his jeans making sloshing noises as he walked into the kitchen, beginning to look through his cupboards.

"_I'd like that. Would you like me to pick anything up?_" She asked, though her voice was quite hushed.

"Lemme check..." He scanned the fridge and concluded one thing, "If you get me a case of Pepsi-Max I'll pay you back, lovey wovey dovey. Are you sick with cavities yet or should I keep goin'?" Asked the teen, grinning.

Souna's muffled giggle told him he'd hit the money, loath as he was to admit it, he fucking loved her laugh. And if you tell anyone, he'll choke them to death with a wire coat hanger and then kill you. Then fuck your corpse to make sure the point got across.

"_I'll be over soon, say half an hour?_"

"I await your arrival, my dear. In the mean time. Food needs to be cooked, and I shall do so. Naked if that's what tickles ya right." Whilst they'd never had sex, yes had sex not fucked or screwed, sucked, shucked or tucked. She was very clear on the boundaries she'd set, and weirdly he accepted them. She was like the drug he could only look at. And it fuckin' sucked.

He'd wait though. One day. In the meantime she was fine with everything but full on intimate shit, like fucking for example, or oral. Sad, he was aware. But once again, he was weirdly ok with it.

"_Don't you distract me with a good time_." And then she hung up.

"..!" He stared at the phone in his hands for a moment, before shouting out, "MIYO! SHE MADE A JOKE! MARK THIS DAY UPON THE CALENDER!"

**End**

**SURPRISE MOTHAFUCKA! DIDN'T SEE THAT SHIT COMING DIDYA! **

**Shit's about to get complicated as fuck, eh? **

**Buckle up, sweetums. We goin on a ride.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**LordGhostStriker: Good, at least it got someone. :D**

**TetrisLame: Good times indeed my friend, good times indeed.**

**AeroSpeedNina: Ah, I get it.**

**Kail990: Stuff and things, will happen because of it, rest assured. **

**Guest (1): Because there needs to be **_**something**_** redeemable about a character, you can't **_**just**_** be the unlikeable trash talker. That's not something you can build a story off, how the hell would the plot advance at all? It would just shut off after about 10 chapters when he finally got around to killing off Rias' peerage out of spite. Then what? He gets stomped by the Gremory Clan, and Sirzechs. Ain't no protagonist that isn't a god comin' outta that one.**

**Guest (2): He's acting, ya know because he's a liar. How do you think he's going to keep up the façade to get Rias under his thumb or whatever he wants without laying some ground work. Do you know how relationships between two sentient beings works? Because I don't think you do. The cat is a joke character not to be taken seriously, much like most things in this story. I can see the joke went over your head though. You can just stop reading, I won't care.**

**Guest (3): Like I said to (1) if he just killed them off the story would have nowhere to go, because the next reasonable step would be the wrath of a powerful clan and a Satan would fall upon him, killing him off.**

**Silvercrow: I'll have a think about it, no promises.**

**To all those who reviewed, thank ya kindly. Also, I've recently picked Borderlands 2 back up, so there may be more on 'Borderlands Elite' as for 'Menma Cursed One' Bloodborne comes out tomorrow, as of writing this note, so that'll get me back into the souls mindset. **

**Note: 27/03/15. It's so good. Bloodbourne is best girl. The last boss is a fucker though.**

**That's the update on those.**

**This chapter will be a little more...Uh I dunno, tame? Compared to the other ones, but I feel its needed for some development. If it bothers you, stop reading there will be more in the future. **

**Start.**

Menma stretched out on the couch, just finished making dinner for himself and his lady friend. Nothing very fancy just a pair of steaks, steamed vegetables and all that good shit. He only wanted the meat but Souna got this really soul-piercing look if he didn't pair at least token 'good food' with his main.

Currently a small pot of gravy was gently bubbling away on the stove, Miyo was still napping on his bed thankfully he just needed to sit in silence for a moment, contemplate a few things.

Mostly what he was going to do with himself. "All this introspection is really bummin' me out." He said aloud but sighed and sunk his head into the couch, closing his eyes.

Kill the fire-cunt's peerage? He didn't have beef with Akeno, she actually seemed pretty ok. Koneko he wanted to filthy, filthy things to, but at the same time he just really wanted to look after her, bring her home and keep her safe. It was probably the petite cat-girl thing.

Issie, there had to be a reason he was kept around. The second he found out, he would take that reason for himself, perhaps look through his gaming archive and find a copy-cat ability, to avoid a full on backlash of the Gremory Clan for fucking over fire-crotch.

Kiba, no-one created swords from nothing. That had to be a Sacred Gear. He'd take that for sure. No point letting it go to waist on a limp dick bootlicker. But all that was well and good, he had to think big though. And be prepared to abandon these plans if something came up that would make it all pointless.

Perhaps strive to be a High-Ranking Devil? That'd be a good short term goal at least. If he had his eyes open he'd notice the small purple mist that left his nostrils at this moment, but alas he was not. "Oh wait...I just realised, I don't need to use games. Grandpa said it was based off my imagination, 'If you can think it, it can be.' Kinda fuckin' broken but, meh. Alright brainstorm how should it work...We'll work within the parameters that it's only for Sacred Gears, maybe take it out of them, and duplicate it like Ditto does? 'Cept it won't be my whole body, just the thing in my hands. That works." Quickly opening his eyes and grabbing a cushion from the couch he placed both his hands on both sides, and concentrated.

"_Copy._" He said, once more for only the purpose of helping his imagination along, it helped him visualize what he wanted. Blue energy creeped out of his palms and snaked its way into the cushion for a few seconds there was silence and stillness, but Menma kept focusing. Before slowly pulling the hand on top of the cushion upwards and as he did so a ghostly blue copy came with it, when the pair were separated the copy was suddenly flushed with colour and texture.

Opening his eyes Menma looked at the two cushions before him, placing the original down he fiddled with the copy a little, "Seems alright..." There were a few things missing, like the fact that the original had a black and white checkered pattern, the copy had the same, but occasionally had two black squares next to one another or the same with white.

So an almost perfect copy on all levels minus visual. That he could deal with.

Suddenly he felt incredibly light headed, he sunk back into the couch, this time he did see the purple mist leaving with his breath, Menma rose a brow, "Looks like my...Soul Crystals?" He questioned aloud, did eating them do something he didn't expect?

Idea's shot through his head, "What the fuck is going on?" He asked aloud, using his magic to pull the mist into his hand, it formed into small shards, "Wait...So I eat the Soul Crystals and something that takes a shit ton of magic will use it up, and these are what's left? I never even knew I hate some kind of reserve, just kinda...Did it. Or maybe I don't and the rapid exit of power from my body gives me head spins, kinda like when I laugh too much..." He stared at the shards, they gave off a small wailing cry.

"Oh holy shit the soul's still in there..." Menma grinned and crushed them in his hand, he could really get to liking this Rook strength he'd gotten. Whilst he'd always been able to reinforce his own strength with magic, having a higher base level was always a good thing.

"Oh well, more shit on my plate...Uhhh!" He sighed loudly and rubbed his head, "Too much, do not want!" Shit kept piling up and he no idea how to fix or deal with any of this shit. He definitely wasn't going to make it easy on the fucks who thought they owned him, but he had no goal.

"Alright, we're committing. High-Ranking Devil, definitely. We'll work out the rest later. I can't be fucked at the moment." He sighed again as a trio of knocks sounded at the door. "Thank you god-MOTHERFUCKER!" Like an icepick being driving into his brain he felt something strike him.

Walking to the door and rubbing his head he opened it, revealing a certain beautiful girl to him. Neck length black hair in a refined bob-cut, those dead sexy violet eyes she had behind her black rimmed glasses, her skin was fair and spotless. The picture of perfection to him.

Like a light switch he forgot the pain and a big smile grew on his face, "Why hello there my gorgeous lover." He winked, stepping aside so she could come in, taking the plastic back from her hands so she could remove her coat and collapse her umbrella.

"Flattery will get you no-where, Menma-kun." She said, gently cupping his cheek and kissing him square on the lips, his shoulders went slack, she was a bit shorter than himself and quite petite in frame.

She was flat as a tack.

No point dancing around it.

Not that he really cared, as he said he was more of an ass man, and she did have a wonderfully delicious butt.

"Food time." She said abruptly, ending the lip lock, her cheeks ever so slightly flushed as she adjusted her glasses. Menma smirked and shook his head, she'd already made herself at home, typical response from the girl who seemed to be enamored with him, or she was a great actress, walk in after X amount of time apart and still have no problem owning the house.

"What will I do with you..?" He asked rhetorically and shook his head, stocking the newly acquired soft-drink in the fridge, and plating up the dinner. As he got to the table she was already waiting for him, prim and proper as ever. Wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a brighter shade of blue rippled pattern from the ribs, and jeans. Not _as_ proper, but it was good to know she could at least _act_ less uptight around him.

"So how has life been since I last spoke with you? Can't really do it at school and you never seem interested in texting." He asked cordially, placing her food before her, and his at the other end of the table before walking back into the kitchen to fetch the gravy.

"I have been well...What about you, Menma-kun...Something about you seems...Different." Her eyes were narrowed, Menma rose a brow for a moment as he got back to his seat.

"I haven't really been up to much. I can't think of any drastic change, that Rias girl and her weird club seem interested in me so I had to play the nice guy and go to the movies earlier today. Irritating as it was, it was fun to watch them all scream at the horror flick I picked out." He informed, smiling lightly at the memory.

"Oh! I also began slowly destroying the mind of Yuuto Kiba, because I'm a dick and I don't like him." Said the black haired male, from one side of his mouth.

"And why exactly?" She asked, her eyes ever so slightly narrowing as the cogs in her head began turning. He had no doubt she'd figure out what he was any second now, no matter how much he was using his magic to cloak his body, avoid his 'scent' getting out as it were.

"Dunno. She's weird. They're weird. And Kiba was trying to fuck with me, so I'm showing him who's in charge." Replied the Uzumaki with a shrug, inwardly sighing as he looked at her, she was already figuring it out.

"You know. Don't you." Not a question, a statement. Her face a little more stony than usual.

"And what would I know, dearest?" He asked with a smile.

"About Devils. About the fact that Rias is one, that her entire Peerage is what makes up the Occult Research Club." Said Souna, shattering what little hope he had, of course she was one. Life was already fucking him over, why not make the _one_ person he cared about also be involved in all this fucking shit.

"Yeah well the red-cunt shot me with a fireball and made me get speared by a fucking fallen, she thought I'd be a good little weapon for her to use against some bloody problem she had." Souna's eyes widened, she calmly put down her cutlery and stepping away from the table.

"She did what?" She asked, as she was currently standing she turned sharply and looked at him from over her shoulder.

"Shot me with a fireball. I had to dodge it and ended up straight in a Light Spear. Not even my wolves could save my ass." He with a shrug, may as well throw the fucking pipe-bomb down and see what happens.

"Excuse me? What 'wolves'." Instead of answering with words Menma merely cleared his mouth and whistled sharply, a pair of blue wolves appeared by his side.

"I'm a Sorcerer, Souna. Got it from Grandpa. My magic works with whatever I can imagine."

"And so you chose to use spells from Wacraft. You idiot." She snapped, though her words lacked any true rancor, instead holding a touch of hurt, "How long have you been doing this, magic?" She asked.

"Few years. Probably about 3. Long before we met. So it's not like I was keeping something super recent from you. 'Sides I thought you were just a normal girl, what kinda Devil are you exactly?"

"The heir of the Sitri Clan. Sona Sitri is my real name. I am a High-Class Devil, and a King of a full Peerage." Menma's eyes widened a little a that before he gave a low whistle of appreciation.

"Not bad. Fire-crotch is missing a few I think. Dunno don't really care if there are some super secret members. But I gotta ask. Where does this leave us?" Asked Menma, Sona adjusted her glasses, a nervous tick he noticed she had.

"I've recently heard through the grapevine that a new Devil has taken the maidenhood of the Gremory Heiress, infuriating the Phenex and causing a great deal of trouble in the Underworld. It doesn't take a genius to assume it was a member of her peerage, it can't be Kiba. She doesn't like him like that. It can't be that Issei boy, he's pathetic. So that leave you. Did you have sex with Rias, Menma?" Oh crap. This was a little too serious for his tastes, she _never_ dropped that stupid suffix.

"Yep." Honesty is the best policy, "Charmed her pants right off when she came to 'Check up on me' I was still pissed and wanted payback. What better way then to fuck her till she can't walk and ruin someone else's joy by popping the cherry. At the time I was more or less hoping this would blow up in her face. Though so far it's only gotten me into her friggen family via some shitful marriage contract shift and a harem lord after my skin."

"You idiot!" She snapped, Menma shrugged he'd give her that, though he though the situation was idiotic, he was just impulsive as fuck. "Do you have any idea what this means!"

"No not really. No one's given me a proper explanation for what's goin' on." He admitted, looking to her with his chin propped on his palm. "Care to do so?"

Sona frowned deeply before once more adjusting her glasses and taking a breath, "This means that you are bound to Rias by the Underworlds Law. If you try to break the contract without being a High-Class devil it will only blow up in your face, you'd been thrown into a mock rating game on your own versus her peerage to contest it, the chances of you winning this are quite low as you loose whatever power she's given you." Explained the violet eyed girl, inwardly cursing at the smirk on his face.

"Then you'd be counted as a stray because you lack a Peerage and would be executed anyway. You are literally unable to do anything about this without a Clan's backing and can only get said backing if you are married into the Clan or be born into it."

"Well...Fuck." Menma looked taken aback.

"And you'd have to go into the Underworld, speak directly with the officiator of the contract, in this case, Lord and Lady Gremory and if you somehow survive that, get past Sirzechs Lucifer, who's...Quite fond of his sister." Informed Sona, sitting back down and shaking her head, this whole situation was ridiculous.

"I've already met him, he was pretty pissed actually." Now it was her turn to look shocked, "He wasn't that serious about it I guess, just Blinked around a bit and then he fucked off."

"You are chaos incarnate, I swear." She lamented, whilst he merely nodded and returned to his dinner.

"I have a cat that talks about my sex life to people I hate. Chaos doesn't even cover me."

**Menma's Head. That Night.**

Staring blankly into an endless void the Uzumaki struggled to keep his mind focused, his 'inner world' was the hardest part of his Sorcery to get hold of, mostly because it required constant thought and concentration to keep in one piece, that's why he went with the abyss, small steps.

Turns out it's even harder when the endless expanse clashes with the random thoughts that enter your heard causing more explosions of colour and blurs in his mental reality. "The expanse of the void..." He said calmly, taking a breath in through his nose and out through his mouth.

"You know you're still an ameture when it comes to this. It takes many years to perfect the inner world, you've had about a year of trying." Came a familiar voice, Menma's gaze came into focus at the voice, there was no body to go along with this voice but he knew it well enough.

"What do you want, Grandad?" He asked, sighing. The void fell away leaving only white.

"Came to try and talk some sense into you boy, don't attempt whatever it is you're going to with those Devils. The wrath of the Underworld awaits you if you try to rupture their delicate system. And if the Devils stir then so to will the Angels, and war will break out once again." Said his grandfathers voice.

"I'm aware of that. But I don't know what to do with myself." Said the black haired teen, crossing his arms and sighing.

"Be the snake, kid. Poison your foe and watch them deteriorate before you. What did I teach you?" Questioned the voice.

"Exactly that..." Replied the people-hater. "So what? Go back to basics and don't overthink all this shit too much?"

"Pretty much. You can't really anticipate something you have no idea about, I suggest you learn about your new foes and _then_ you can rip it apart to your hearts content, make it look like you had nothing to do with it." Advised the old wizard.

"Ugh, so much effort..." Griped Menma, sighing. Planning out even simple destruction tactics took an annoyingly large amount of time to make foolproof with a ungodly high success rate.

"Stop being a lazy shit and get off your ass boy." Scolded the old man.

"Oh fuck off you old windbag, go back to being some weird nomad." Menma brought down the blanket of silence he so desired upon his mind, once more enjoying the quiet he was able to within his own head.

"Fuck it...I'll just wing this shit. See where it takes me...If anything that Riser fag will be around sooner or later to get all up on me." Menma shook his head and sighed before phasing out of his inner world and going to sleep completely.

**A Few Days Later. Clubroom.**

Menma sat fiddling with his phone at one of the many chairs around the centre table. So far the day had gone obnoxiously slow, he'd much rather be home, where other people weren't where his beautiful PS4 had that sexy minx, Bloodbourne waiting for him.

"Oh god I can't wait to scream my lungs out on that fuckin' game." Almost smacking his head on the desk in attempts to force time to pass faster, or at least make the idiots around him go away.

"You can't go after here, Issei-kun." Said Rias, a tone of finality. Menma had barely held interest in whatever they were discussing, he didn't care. After Sona's visit she reclaimed her girlfriend status, he had no idea why as he was essentially fucked over until further notice but he didn't complain, the girl was willing to put up with him, he'd stand next to her and watch various things hit the fan.

So he did actually end up getting contacted by Riser, the dude apparently still wanted in to Rias' panties, and was willing to have a duel for the contract, Menma almost smacked his head against the wall in joy as all he'd have to do is take a dive and then he'd be in the clear. The messenger that came to him could only watch on in bewilderment as he whooped for joy.

He was tempted to just say 'Have her' but he felt like Riser was too high on his horse to take sloppy seconds. No he'd much rather fight for sloppy seconds, like a sensible person.

So anyway one problem averted, no doubt after this he'd have to jump through a bunch of hurdles afterwards just to leave the Underworld alive but meh, he'd deal with it. Not like he actually cared what happened, he had more important shit to deal with.

Like not listening to what his shitful real life Guild replacement was saying.

Yeah he wasn't that lucky.

"Menma-senpai! You'll come won't you!?" Questioned Issei, Menma looked up at him and gave a quizzical grunt, "To save this girl who was captured by Fallen Angels, she's innocent! They're going to kill her and take her Sacred Gear!"

"Sacred Gear?" Asked Menma, Kiba's eyes widened when he saw that greedy glint in the Sorcerers eyes, "What kind of Gear is it?"

"A...A healing one...Why?" Asked Issei, thrown that this was the question being asked.

"Oh." His eyes lost all interest before he looked back at the boy, "Where are these angles anyway?"

"The old Church on the other side of town..." Replied Issei, Menma stood up abruptly.

"Well fuck that, it's too far. I'm going home, later dickheads." He gave a short wave before opening up a portal to his house and falling back into it. It closed with the image of him flipping them all off burned into their minds.

"That...Just happened." Said Akeno, a little wide eyed.

**Menma's Home**

"Miyo don't wait up, I'm going to kill a bunch of flying corpses!" Snarled out the teen, throwing off his school clothes and getting changed, throwing on a single ring that his grandfather gave him, it was essentially a catalyst for his magic, making it stronger. He typically didn't use it as most of the spells he bothered with were battlefield manipulation spells, but today he was going full chaos.

"Time to blow apart a fucking church." A red book was summoned from a golden ring in the air, "Haven't bothered with these for a few weeks, hopefully still half decent at them." Donned in a black long-sleeved shirt, a red coat with a white interior with two short tails that fell to his knees, black trousers with shin high boots, Menma was about ready to go to war.

"Gonna get me some angel skin." He growled, his fingertips sparking as he once more fell into a portal he'd opened, this was to the church itself, he'd been there once to check it out finding it uninteresting he'd never thought to return. As he arrived he saw the looming figure of the decrepit church, lifting his 'Devil Cloak' as he'd come to address the sheen he'd placed upon himself to hide his presence he flexed his magic, rushing it through his body.

Predictably a form emerged from the church, this was not an angel however. It was a human. He had short silver hair that fell down the sides of his head, red eyes sparked with madness, he wore a church executor's uniform, Menma rolled his eyes in digust. "You shitty devi-"

"Laser." Intoned the young man and weaved his fingertip in a circle, the circle filled in and blasted a hole right through the mans skull, dropping dead before he could even finish his spiel. "Don't monologue, you'll live longer." Advised the teen to the corpse, stepping on it as he walked through the now open doors.

"Alright you bunch'a cunts, where's the brunette slut in the bondage gear, I got murderin' to do." Announced the Uzumaki boomingly, he spread his mind out to find any life sources in the place, he found two inside whilst three remained on the outer rim of the forest that surrounded this place, though it appeared they had sensed him and were making their way inwards.

Menma rushed through the church and shoulder charged open a door leading to the back, in here he found the bitch and some blonde he had no business with, "There you are." Snarled Menma, the book floating beside him as his hands lit up with flames, "Come here!" Boomed the teen as he blurred towards Raynare, the fallen Angel instinctively shooting into the air as far as the ceiling would allow her, only to feel a pair of burning hands around her ankles, "You don't escape retribution, fucknuckle!" Shifting his weight Menma twisted throwing Raynare off balance and plummeting to the ground, he landed on his feet and just before she crashed into the ground his flaming fist found purchase on her face, scorching the flesh on her cheek and making her scream out in pain.

Opening his free hand and facing his palm towards her wings Menma intoned a short, "Flame Shock." The flames on his hands shot forth like they were blown from a cannon and struck Raynare's black wings with enough force to not only set them blaze but to break the frail bones within.

Her screams were enough to send him into ecstasy. "You didn't think I'd just _let_ you kill me, did you cunt? No no no...I'm quite the vindictive fucker if I do say so myself." As he was speaking Menma approached the screaming and sobbing woman grasping her throat with his non-flaming hand before winding back with his burning fist and howling out.

With a powerful punch her face and brains quickly vacated out the back of her skull, Menma's flaming fist died out as he shook it lightly, he stared down at the destroyed form of his overdue prey and spat down upon it. "Filthy pile of meat." He saw the blonde girl look at him with a mixture of terror and gratitude.

"C'mon dumbass, let's get out of here. You can watch me play Bloodbourne and I can give you food." He grabbed her hand, the book returning to his free one, "Didn't even have to use these..." He muttered shaking his head and opening a portal. Pushing the blonde in he quickly followed as the other presences were getting close.

**End.**

**Yep. I'm going to bed now. See you guys in a few days.**

**Kisses and hugs.**

**Oh and just to point this out, Menma will be playing the games that **_**I've played**_** just in case someones going to start some shit about me playing bloodbourne and then the protagonist doing the same. **

_**Raxychaz!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Finished, Bloodbourne. Pretty great game I'll happily admit. Then again I do feel like it was semi-hollow due to the fact I went in blind and didn't know fuck all about how to get the real ending, so I gotta get it 100% in Ng+.**

**I'm sure once all those lore buffs get their arses in gear I'll be able to love it more. I'm just shit at making connections on my own when it comes to all that kinda stuff.**

**Start.**

"See, look at this mothefucker. It's hideous, and really fuckin' hard. I love it." Said Menma, pointing out the Cleric Beast, whilst Asia hid behind him, trying to not look at the big scary creature.

"It's so scary..." Whimpered the girl as the creature released another screech, blood splattering all over the digital bridge the beast and the hunter stood on.

"I think you mean fucking awesome!" He corrected with a grin, the girl squeaked as he delivered the killing blow to the Cleric Beast and it exploded into a shower of gore, blood raining from the sky. "Victory!" Standing up and throwing out his arms the Uzumaki did cheer. "This is going to be a good game."

"Why are you watching something on your computer at the same time then..?" Asked the girl curiously, her shell of fear gone as the creature was banished. "Don't you get distracted?"

"Hm? Oh that, no. That's just a let's play of a game I'll never get around to owning. So I just watch this and bam, now I know what happens in Dragon Ball Xenoverse. Or I may just end up getting it later, I dunno. Live life on a whim." He said, waving it off, before looking up to the right in thought, "Though Dragon Ball has a lot of abilities I could easily mimic...Hm." Menma looked at his main hand and scrunched up his face in confusion, "Imagine a Kamehameha..." His eyes slowly sparkled at the revelation.

"Bloodbourne first."

"You're strange, Menma-san." Commented Asia meekly.

"Good. I'd hate to think I was normal. It takes a certain type of punish glutton to play these damn games." He idly replied, butchering his way through Yharnam, it was pretty easy for someone with heightened senses, though he could easily see how your average person would have trouble adjusting from the slow methodical approach to the 'Rush in and kill all the things before they kill you' mentality needed for the newest iteration of the franchise.

"I don't understand, if it punishes you, why do you want to play it so much?" Asked the girl, puzzled. Miyo crawled into her lap and laid down, making the girl's eyes sparkle.

"Bragging rights mostly, if I can beat it and other people can't I get to call them out on being shit bastards. That and I just enjoy a good challenge, the stories and lore in these games are usually rich as fuck and everyone can appreciate a good story." His eyes shifting to her for a moment before they returned to the screen.

"By the way, happy that you aren't freakin' the fuck out about me killing the Fallen, the cunt had it coming."

"They were the last hope I had at getting back into the Lords favour." She said sadly, though he did notice how she flinched almost every time he swore. Tough tits, grow a backbone.

"Yeah well life is full of trials. How you overcome them is what defines you. If you feel like your sky-daddy doesn't like you anymore, pull up your boots and carve out your own true self. You gotta learn to love yourself before you can ask love of another, Asia." The odd profoundness of that statement made Asia pause in writing off most of what he'd said. The lax and blank look of mild concentration on his face making it look like it was just something he said every day, as though he just had these little pearls of wisdom stocked away.

"That's was beautiful, Menma-san." She said softly, smiling at him. Once more his eyes shifted to hers before going back to the screen.

"Don't go telling anyone I said that. I have a mascaraed to play after all." Were the quick words that came from the older male, Asia laughed quietly to herself as he stared at her, "I'm not kidding." A sweatdrop formed at the back of her head as she slowly nodded, his gaze shifted away once more.

"Darkness I hope no-one bothers me today. Skinning would happen I swear." He bit out ruthlessly, the vivid imagery already in his head as he made progress through the sewers.

A knock at his door resounded, Menma's roar of rage made Asia hide under the covers of his bed with Miyo, his rage quickly cooled as he placed the controller down and got out of his chair, stalking through the house and swung the door open, "What now?!" He snarled out, only to see the face of that silver haired woman, "Oh. You. Why are you here?" He asked, the only answer being a letter being offered forward, it had a gothic looking G stamped on red wax, he almost deadpanned at the overly intricate message, he sharpened his index finger with magic and cut open the top before pulling out the contents.

His eyes slid across the words on the page quickly, slowly becoming more and more jaded with each word, "Right a summons to fight dickhead. I'll be there, or whatever. Cheers for the message." He closed the door and was about to return to his room until the knock sounded once more, sighing frustrated he opened the door once more.

"I sense a woman's presence in your room. Are you already spreading your seed to other women besides, Rias-sama?" She asked icily.

"Not that my home is any of your fuckin' business lady, but no. That's just a friend that's staying with me at the moment. If that's all, I'm busy."

"I will be keeping a close eye on you, Menma-san. Oh, and Lord and Lady Gremory have invited you for dinner at your earliest convenience to discuss the contract. Have a good day, ruffian." Menma watched as she vanished into a red sigil.

"Already hate you." He stared at the ground she once occupied with a scowl. "Oh you've been invited for dinner at your latest convenience. La-di fucking da. Darkness I hate formal events." He grouched, he was a very self aware asshole, and just out of respect for fellow humans beings, he didn't want to be stuck in the same room as them for several hours where he's expected to just be nice to people. It was awkward for both of them.

He was a massive prick, but he did offer people a modicum of respect as long as they didn't bother him, when they did though, all bets were fucking off.

Menma almost slammed the door before returning to his room, flopping down into his chair and tossing the letter onto his desk. "Back to the thing I don't hate." Asia's curiosity seemed to get the better of her, and she peeked at the letter.

She gasped in shock, Menma turned to her with a risen eyebrow, "What?"

"Y-you're a devil?" She questioned nervously.

"Yeah..." He replied easily, "So?"

"B-but the whole reason I was excommunicated was because I healed a Devil with my powers. I-if somehow they find me with you, they'll kill us both!" She exclaimed, her face almost ashen at the idea.

"If they believe killing someone who was turned against his will is justified, then I'll have a nice little _chat_ with them. Until then, I see no reason to worry, Asia. Live as you would. Or you can become my new co-op partner. That'd also be acceptable. Because Monster Hunter is better with two people."

"You're a strange person, Menma-san."

"Whatever.

**Later**

"Alright so, now all you gotta do is lunge off that ledge and you'll jump, press X and do a plunging attack." Informed the Uzumaki as he and the blonde girl sat in is lounge room, both holding 3DS', he'd splurged and bought her one and Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, it was the only way he knew to calm her tits.

Once more someone came'a knockin'.

"Oh my fucking Abyss! What do you people want with me today! I will Kamehameha you into the fucking Twisting Nether! Except I don't have some weak ass little best friend to have good times with. I've got a fucking cat and a shit ton of problems who keep trying to be apart of my life." He ranted swinging the door open, "What?!" He snarled, the sight of his Peerage mates were not something to make him smile.

Issei, Koneko, Akeno and Kiba were present. They saw the ferocious look on his face and almost all flinched, his hand lit up with an angry red flame, "Speak." He ordered icily.

"W-w-we...we..." Stammered Issei.

"Did you kill those Angels, Senpai?" Asked Koneko calmly.

"Yes. The bondage cunt was the one to shove a spear through my gut, so I shoved my fist through her face." He smirked at the memory, looking up to his right and reflecting on it. All his rage vanishing like dust in the wind.

"Does that mean you saved Asia!?" Shot out Issei quickly, Menma looked at him expressionlessly. "Well?" Prodded the brunette.

"Yes. I like cute things. She's cute. Brought her home." He explained breezily, "Asia. Pervy dickhead is here to see you." He called out with a sigh, rubbing the ridge of his nose as he walked back inside, not so subtly telling them to come in if they had the balls.

"Who..? Oh Issei-san! It's so good to see you again." Sweet smile on full blast she greeted the pervert with open heart and almost jumped at the sight of him.

"Asia! Are you OK? Did those Fallen hurt you! How did you end up here!?" Was the rapid onslaught of questions, Menma rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to escape the emotion fueled duo.

"What are you up to?" Came the venomous voice of Kiba, Menma slammed his fist into the wall just above the boys head, making his eyes widen for a second before the reset into the scowl he currently wore.

"If you lot are still here in five minutes. I'll flay you all alive. I'll tear off your limbs and leave you on the sidewalk like garbage. I just wanted a day to relax instead of dealing with you fucks. You _dare_ come into my house and accuse me of being up to something? I'll kill everyone you love if you keep up with this fucking attitude, Kiba." Swore the Uzumaki, staring bloody murder directly into the boys eyes.

Today was his off day, as was the whole weekend really. He didn't even have time to log on and speak with his guild he'd been so distracted with all the bullshit that came with all this Devil crap. And that was a pretty big deal for him. He just wanted to take a few hours to enjoy himself and get to know Asia a little bit maybe, but no. These fucks would not leave him alone.

"You wouldn't dare. We're in the same Peerage, like it or not if you kill us, or harm us in any serious manner. The wrath of politics comes down on your head, you become stray and end up hunted until you die." Rebuked Kiba, biting out his words like it harmed him to speak with the taller male.

"Watch me." Was all that Menma said as his eyes ran red. "You don't understand how much I'd love to see you dead Kiba. I may very well just be willing to risk a whole lot to see that happen, you annoying little gnat." Menma departed from the wall conversation and went into his room, flopping down onto the bed putting his forearm over his eyes and sighing.

"Senpai...Would you really hurt us?" Asked the small voice of Koneko, Menma was upright in a second as she stared at him with those judgmental hazel eyes.

"I've been under a lot of stress Koneko. People say things they don't mean when they're stressed. Stay however long you want just...Leave me be. I need to get back to thinking my way out of this mess." They say you can see when someone really accepts the gravity of a situation, and it dawns on them in full. Menma just had this moment and immediately accepted the fact that he was fucked.

"Is it because of Riser-san?" Asked the small girl, ignoring his request and sitting next to him on the bed, Miyo crawling onto her lap.

"No. It's all this shit with Rias. I never even wanted to get married. I never wanted to have kids. I never wanted to have one of those perfect little families. I'm fine on my own. But no. Some extra world I was never meant to be apart of opens up and now because of something as simple as a one night stand fucks me over for the rest of my existence. You'll have to forgive me for not wanting to accept it." He bit out sarcastically, whilst he didn't want marriage the human way, mostly because it meant the government getting involved in your personal affairs and if the two people involved it would no doubt mean he'd loose almost all of his shit to some uppity bitch who got him into something so stupid. He didn't know how it worked with Devils but that wasn't the point, it was the principal of the matter.

"You don't want babies?" She asked curiously.

"Fuck no. Have you seen me? Why the hell would I want to raise another version of me but smaller? That's insane." He rebuked with a scoff, Koneko did notice that the small smirk he usually had on his face had sprung up once again.

"Strange." She commented.

"Look. We're not going to sit here and talk about my feelings, that's fuckin' boring." He sat up and returned to his chair, "There's a little girl who needs me." He said referring to the young girl in Yharnam, daughter of the second boss, Gascoigne. This game was already playing with his feels.

Koneko got the message and left the room, though taking Miyo with her. The Uzumaki stared at the screen blankly, he was really letting the stupid teenage hormones make him loose his self-control, stupid Kiba, stupid everything.

**Next Day, Underworld.**

The trip down wasn't exactly something he enjoyed, the feeling of being teleported was unpleasant. It felt like being taken apart piece by piece and then reassembled in a few seconds, he was idly impressed with the scale of the place though, looked like some kind of castle really.

The father and mother of the girl he slept with were some of the oddly nicest people he'd met. Lady Gremory was elegant and beautiful, whilst being so strangely kind he didn't know how to deal with it. Lord Gremory was a bit more quiet but still having that boisterous and imposing fatherly feel to him, the way he smiled when Rias and her peerage arrived made him uncomfortable, nice people were so weird to deal with.

Sirzechs tried to do the whole 'Crushing Handshake' thing, Menma wasn't really phased, he'd dealt with these kinds of people, he kicked him in the shin and that made him let go. The whimpering from the godly powerful man made him smile.

Sona and her family had shown up for the bout, apparently she and Rias had been friends since childhood, way to throw a fucking curveball life. That was something he _really_ didn't know how to deal with, the amount of times he'd addressed Rias as 'Red-cunt' or 'Fire-crotch' to Sona almost made him face palm in despair. Though he didn't he was far to composed for such a thing.

The man across from him however didn't seem as composed. The scowl etched across the face of Riser Phenex was quite impressive, he did look a bit old for a girl like Rias, he had creases under his eyes and old, angry eyes. Though he might just be some wise motherfucker, doubtful though. He had short blonde hair and blue eyes, apparently like all of his family, he wore black sleeves, just sleeves. And white pants.

He also had some odd cape thing that started around his waist and then just sorta...Fell down. It was something he'd never seen before. Though the bare chest felt a bit much really. That and how clingy his little sister seemed to be, maybe a bro-con? That'd made sense, the scariest shit was that he saw that pretty frequently in his life, girls thinking the world of their older brothers a little _too _much.

Menma felt the need to dress up, so he didn't. He was in jeans and a t-shirt. Though he did have his earrings in. His catalyst ring was still around his middle finger though, his tome ready to be summoned at a moments notice. He stared at Riser disinterestedly, the poor fucker was just getting riled up by _that_ it was pretty amusing if nothing else.

The random sparks that seemed to lift off Riser's skin, Menma decided to play his part, lifting his lips into a snarls and releasing a short haze of sapphire mist from in between his teeth. "This duel is the decider between who will claim rights to the contract of marriage pertaining to one, Rias Gremory. Due to the special circumstances the winner of this bout has one request that will be heeded anything goes, money? Power? Or something else entirely, we begin within the minute." Announced the booming voice of Sirzechs, his face projected around the arena.

Yeah there was a full on fucking arena, these people had _way_ too much money. Nah just fuckin' with ya. It's some pocket dimension they used for battles like this, this one was just set to look like an arena.

Menma concentrated on a particular source of inspiration he would be using for this little bout, it would undoubtedly shock the shit out of the Devil's to see magic like his, his Grandfather was quite express in how rare such a thing was, "You know I think your death will be reward enough, boy." Spat out the Phenex.

"Oh is this the part where you monologue about how you're going to totally beat me. Go ahead, waste your breath, tweety. I'm not scared of you ya twat." Replied the Uzumaki easily, Riser's ire seemed to stir even more as the teen rebuked him without a care, clearly he had no idea who he was dealing with.

"Or maybe I should make you my personal servant, that way you can watch as I pleasure myself on your woman."

"Really? That's the best you've got? You're going to fuck someone half your age while another someone half your age watches? Grow a pair fruit cup, do better." Replied the teen with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"20 Seconds." Announced Sirzechs, a frown evident on his face at Riser's words.

"Now what you need is to threaten my family and friends, then I'll say some bullshit about friendship and how morally wrong you are, even though morality is subjective and friendship doesn't give anyone any kind of power. It's like you don't even know how to be a villain, then again...I'm pretty shit at being some fucking infantile protagonist, see we're learning together." Menma brushed a fake tear away and huffed dramatically.

"I don't like you." Was all he got in response.

"I wouldn't want a kiddy fiddling sis-con to like me anyway." He idly tossed out, Riser looked like he'd been smacked with a fish, his sister going slightly pink in the stands at the idea.

"H-How dare you speak such vulgarity about me!" Spat Riser, playing the insulted aristocrat quite well.

"Oh so _that's _the too far point, not the raping the redhead in front of me, got it. Good to learn so much more about you, ya fucking weirdo." Said Menma, hearing Sirzechs announce 5 seconds, from the look of it, Riser didn't.

Menma stretched out and counted down from 5 in his head, cracking his knuckles as he arrived at 3 and gathering his magic into his legs at 1.

Then he shot off like a bullet, a stream of blue energy trailing behind him, "_Ki Blast_!" He shouted out, getting the image firmly in his head and gathering an orb of blue magic in his hand before tossing it in a fly-by attack, the blast striking Riser in the chest and exploding on contact, the Phenex's body was tossed back by the force, Menma redirected and appeared behind him, slamming his knee into Riser's back, though before he could go anywhere Menma grabbed the back of his head and then extended his leg to a proper kick, planting it firmly in the back of Riser's knee, forcing him to buckle, Menma blasted forward once more, though this time dragging the blond through the ground, ripping it up on the way through.

Once he felt like he'd gotten the message across Menma vanished once more and appeared where he was initially standing, though he did keep a loose stance.

There were gasps from the on looking crowd though neither combatants could hear them, Menma placed both his hands together the second he saw Riser getting up, "Never give them a second, just like the old man taught me." The orb formed and he thrust his hands forward, opening them so his palms faced Riser, "_Kamehameha_, motherfucker!" He bellowed, the beam of blue shooting towards the Phenex.

Riser was hit with the force of truck and was sent directly in the dimensional wall, Menma's blast not letting up in the slightest as he pressed it harder and harder, though for a second he felt a burning in his chest and stopped, that was all the time Riser needed to get his bearing, initiating his recovery to heal his wounds, his bloody face and burnt chest healing rapidly.

Menma clutched at his chest as it felt like something was trying to come out, "Oh fuck, chest bursters eat your heart out." He cursed lowly, a low whistle leaving his lips as his wolves appeared.

"Get on it you two." He ordered, the leapt at Riser, who merely dodged and weaved around the constructs to give himself more time to heal himself.

"_Riptide_..." Intoned the younger man, a splash of water rushing over his body, though he felt no relief, "What the fuck?" Baffled was putting it lightly, shaking himself off Menma did his best to ignore the pain for now, lightning sparks across his arms, "Concentrate fuckhead. _Chain Lightning_!" The azure stream of electricty jumped across the gap between them and managed to catch Riser in the arm, the Phenex released his flaming wings and took to the air, summoning powerful flames in his hands.

"Die you filthy, low-class scum!" Roared the enraged man, as he began to rain down flames upon his foe, Menma merely vanished once again.

"Aim better, fuckface. Starfall!" Comets of arcane power rained down from the sky like an orbital bombardment striking Riser square in the back. "Don't lose focus!" Menma shot forward straight into the raining power, flying through the air like one badass motherfucker and clotheslining Riser mid-fall in the throat, though he wrapped his arm around the mans neck instead of just going for the strike and quickly descended, ignoring the burning on his forearm from the flaming wings.

"Lasers!" Roared Menma, several small orbs of magic leaping from his skin like fireflies and the second he dumped Riser face first into the ground he released them all, the needle thing beams tore him apart like finely diced meat.

Menma landed slowly, savoring the look of complete agony upon his foes face, "Never waste a second." Said Menma, blankly looking into Riser's eyes as he once more initiated his healing, funneling all his magic into saving his own life.

"I look forward to seeing you do this. Go ahead." Menma's fingers danced with purple energy, in the crowd, Kiba's eyes darkened at the sight of that familiar shade of purple, whilst the rest of the Peerage flinched at the sight of it.

"Come on, I'm waiting, meat." Ordered Menma, the exposed muscle tissued along the mans body was slowly being covered with skin, so Menma stomped on his throat, making the already defeated devil gurgle up a good deal of blood.

"You. Don't. Fuck. With. Me." Advised the teen, walking away from the beaten and battered older man. "Call it already you twit, if they're lucky, his clan can save his ass." Shouted out Menma to the sky as Sirzech's face appeared.

The redhead nodded and responded thusly, "The winner is Menma Uzumaki, Rook of Rias Gremory. As winner what do you wish for your prize, Menma-san?" Asked the man, the field fell around the black haired teen, Riser's sister was out for his blood he merely turned and slammed his fist right into her nose, breaking it.

"I want the contract annulled. I'm not getting fuckin' hitched because of a one night stand. Sort that out between yourselves, I'm going outside." He then proceeded to walk past every person present, right out the doors of the large building the event was hosted in and left.

Sona facepalmed at the display, she couldn't deny he did well, he was obviously much more powerful than she initially estimated, with an enormous range of destructive abilities, but did he have to handle it in such a troublesome manner? The backlash from the damage to Riser alone would land him in hot water, now he's gone and broken the contract publicly?

The fool was going to give her a heart attack at this rate.

**End of chapter.**

**Yep. **

**Thanks to those who reviewed, much appreciated.**

**See you all next time.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Wasup. We back.**

**Guest (The Nice One): Quite the praise my dear sir/madam, thank you sincerely for it.**

**Guest (The Other One): If you have such a gripe with what I'm writing or this 'drivel' as you put it, why are you still reading and responding to me? If it's some guilty pleasure I can understand but you seem to want some kind of conflict. If you have such a trouble with my story, I'm not sticking you to a chair and forcing you to read it. If anything I get the satisfaction that you are a few minutes closer to death because you not only found the story again, more than likely read it and **_**then**_** took the time to comment on it, you did that again. So that likes a solid 10 minutes of your life you lost to me. GG.**

**darelle1000: Are those skills from various games? If so they aren't in any on my library.**

**LordGhostStriker: Pretty much dude. **

**guisniperman: I'm still deciding on it really. I'm just winging this shit at the moment, that's why I said not to take it all too seriously really. This is just a brain-child I've got at the moment. The reception I've got is pretty fucking great though I will admit.**

**majin20: Good idea there...*rubs chin***

…**...**

**So once again, little forewarning. Shit is about to get real. Like rage/hate-porn real. **

**See you at the end.**

**Start.**

"How could you embarrass me like that?!" Exclaimed Rias, finding the Uzumaki sitting next to a fountain in the garden, he looked up at her-as he was sitting-confused. "Do you have any idea what kind of image that has just put on my family! To be found undesirable as a partner by a servant! It means I'm too weak to even control you in their eyes, that my family is only going to get weaker from here on!"

"Yeah well, you fuckin' killed me. So eat a dick." He replied with a shrug, Rias looked at him horrified, "What? You did. You seriously don't think I forgot about it did you? It's kind of hard to when every day I wake up and realize that my magic is mutated, that I won't age or die naturally. Those last wo I don't mind, the point is you did this all against my will and _fucking killed me!_ Your family is the only reason I don't get even." He snarled at her, standing up and his now red eyes borrowing into her soul.

"B-but we...!"

"We had sex, Rias. The most basic of all events in life, if I knew that all this extra bullshit you've been trying to pile on me came with getting into your pants I never would have bothered. That and you don't fuckin' control me, girlie." He rebuked with a scoff.

"You always have been so heartless when it came to dealing with girls." Said a familiar voice to the pair, Menma looked over Rias' shoulder to see Sona, along with some girl that had far too large a bust for the Magical Girl outfit she was sporting.

"Oh. Sona, Leviathan-sama. What do you need, I was speaking with my Rook." She said icily, clearly she wanted to get this all sorted out sooner rather than later, and was willing to bite down her oldest friends attempts to stop her.

"I've come to collect Uzumaki-san. My mother and father, along with yours and the Phenex heads wish to speak with him. As for Onee-sama...I don't know why she's here."

"Oh So-tan, you know why~." Chimed the girl, who apparently was Sona's older sister, Menma would never have picked her to be the older of the two...Then again those tits looked like she was smuggling babies in her bra.

"Cool. Whatever let's go I want this dealt with now." Said Menma, sticking his hand into his pocket and idly cradling his burnt forearm close to his chest. The angry red flesh not healing with his magic for some reason, so he'd have to wait for it to do so naturally.

"Oh! Your arm is all hurt! So-tan, can't you use your water to _soothe_ Uzu-tan?" She asked, pouting at the younger girl who was a little thrown by the request, Sona almost glared at her accursed sister, _why_ did she tell _her_ of all people about the two of them.

"It's alright, I understand if Sona-san is hesitant to display her powers in front of a...Variable. It'll heal in time, so don't worry about it." Said the Uzumaki, as he didn't want to drag Sona down to his current level. No doubt these twats acted like the old rich pompous assholes his Grandpa used to make him spend time around, Darkness he hated them.

**Gremory Lounge Room**

Menma was guided to sit on one of the many couches in the room, within held Lord and Lady Gremory, Lord and Lady Sitri, and finaly, Lord and Lady Phenex. The last two looking more than a little nervous at the sight of him, mostly because their son was still in a heavily critical condition.

Lord Gremory was a middle-aged looking man with long bloody red hair like his children, bright blue eyes that held more charm and kindness than Menma was equip to deal with, and had a short red goatee-like -like beard.

His wife Venelana, looked a great deal like Rias, though with hair that fell down to her chest and this hair being a lighter brown instead of the bright red, the Gremory were known for. Instead of the sweet woman he saw when he arrived he saw a very serious and deadly looking mother. Lovely.

Lord Sitri was a rather gentlemanly looking chap with a refined edge to him, He had short black hair and frigid violet eyes, much like his daughter. His skin was fair with the only thing standing out on it being the short well kept beard that ran along his face.

Lady Sitri seemed to be akin to Serafall. She was quite buxom and had soft, delicate features. With bright purple eyes and long flowing black hair. Both Lord and Lady were dressed to the nine with rather smashing looking attire.

Finally the Lord and Lady Phenex. Lord Phenex seemed to be that 'Rugged Dad' kind of guy, he had a pretty average length beard with a admittedly handsome face, Menma wasn't the kind to knock a fellow dude for being a good lookin' guy. He had dark blue eyes and blond hair parted so it framed his face well.

Lady Phenex looked almost exactly like her daughter oddly enough, but older maybe around her twenties? At least in appearance. Well her hair was different done up in this weirdly ornate manner with a bunch of random shit thrown in there. She was the one who actually looked nervous at the sight of him.

"Ah, Menma-kun. Thank you for joining us." Spoke Lord Gremory with a smile. Menma merely nodded towards the man, "Now, overlooking what happened in the arena for the moment, why exactly is it you wish to break the contract." Asked the man, Menma sighed silently.

"Because I'm 17 and had my whole life ahead of myself to find someone to spend it with." Replied Menma easily. "And yes I say 'Had' because even if something like getting shot with a fireball hadn't almost directly gotten me killed, Rias." He said the name pointedly twisting his neck to look at her accusingly, "I still wouldn't have bothered with anything like marriage, because humans, mostly males, get skullfucked by the system. But that's a _whole_ other conversation." He explained, leaning back, crossing his legs so he had his left ankle sitting on his right knee.

"I'm sorry what? Rias-chan threw a fireball at you?" Asked Lady Sitri, puzzled.

"I was fighting a Fallen Angel who thought my magic made me a devil, or something of the like I was pretty distracted with the fact there was some flying...Woman, trying to kill me with light spears. Though they were obnoxiously pink." He reigned in his various swears words that came to mind at the thought of that rancid cunt, giving what little respect he could muster towards the people in the room.

"My word. Fightning a Fallen? All on your own? How long have you been a practitioner of your magic, young man?" Asked Lord Gremory. "And Rias, why did you attack the boy?" The Lord turned his attention to his daughter who grew pink at all the eyes in the room falling on him. "Your mother and I raised you better than that." The disappointment in his voice must have gotten to her for some reason.

"I didn't do it on purpose! I...Sneezed as I was firing my blast and my aim went off...I was trying to make an entrance."

"About three years. But you..." He abruptly stood and pointed at the girl, "What the fuck did you just say! You killed me because you fucking sneezed!? It wasn't out of random spite, or greed for power. You did it because you can't fucking control yourself! Are you shitting me! You've changed my entire life, bound me like a slave and essentially dragged me into a big ol' fuck up of politics all because of a fucking SNEEZE!" The sheer outpour of rage that left the teens body was so profound his magic lashed out around him, creating great craters in the wall around the room, shattering the couch he sat on previously and tearing up the carpet.

"I'll fucking kill you!" He bellowed his hands lightning up with a vicious purple mist and honing his fingers into deadly honed blades, though instead of being able to rend flesh he was locked into a full nelson by the imposing figure of a serious Sirzechs Lucifer.

"I'll tear you apart you fucking btich, I'll destroy everything you love, who the fuck do you think you are to take my life from me! I'm Menma fucking Uzumaki! I have a right to live as I damn well please!" He thrashed and thrashed like a wild released beast.

The wide eyes of the various clan heads and the relative silence from the two Satans would have been chilling had it not been for this tirade, Lord Gremory looked at the boy and saw the sheer hatred on his face, and then at his daughter and saw the heartbreak she currently was experiencing. He was torn between righting a wrong committed on another by his own blood, or protecting his daughter.

"I think I've seen enough, Menma-kun. We'll end the contract, obviously it will be...Wrong. To keep your two together. I'll see it is all sorted just...Calm yourself, boy." Said the man, obviously a little thrown off by how he reacted, the boy suddenly buckled inwardly, as he couldn't clutch at his chest with his arms, he lifted his legs to do the same.

"Motherfuck why does this hurt so much." He bit out between grit teeth, Sirzechs let him go to see what was wrong, the boy quickly dropping like a sack of potatoes and grasping at his chest, as though it would somehow stop the pain. "Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Bigger problems." He repeated rapidly and almost silently, standing up he coughed to clear his clenched throat, "I'm going to leave now. You can sort the rest of this shit on your own." He slowly dragged himself towards the door.

"I don't think so, young man. You've caused quite a great deal of chaos. The mere act of your attack against us all is punishable with severe consequence." Spoke Lady Gremory, icily. Menma turned to face her over his shoulder and glared unholy hell into her eyes. She didn't flinch or bat an eye at the dark look.

"So fucking off me. See what I care, lady." He challenged, "I'm not your fucking plaything, I'm not your daughters. I'm a person, and the sheer fact that you're trying to force me into some fucked up slavery is just cause enough for my anger. I didn't attack you, you happened to me in the same room as me." He snarled lowly.

"Technically that outburst could be construed as an attack, Menma-san." Spoke Lord Phenex, chiming in for the first time.

"Typically such an act is met with execution." Informed Lord Sitri, missing the look of shock on his youngest face.

"As I said. Fucking do me in then. Don't dance around the issue with your fucking political spiel. I like to think we're all above it." Growled the teen.

"That and the overly severe damage dealt to your opponent during your duel. You're slowly stacking up quite the list of crimes, Menma-san." Informed the Lady of the Gremory Clan, if Menma could grit his teeth any harder, they would shatter. Between the spiking pain in his chest and this smug cunt he was about ready to just explode.

"What do you want from me woman? You've already taken my life and placed into the hands of someone who is clearly in no fit position for such power by spawning her, now what? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?" He roared, once more snapping.

"I want you to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Then we will let you go." Said the woman offhandedly, "But such pleasures are for other occasions, no what you must do to reimburse us for the damage you've caused is quite simple really." She paused for a moment as though savoring his rage.

"Dear, that is quite enough of your games." Said Lord Gremory seriously. "_I've_ already decided the contract will be cut, why it was shifted to him in the first place was a mere technicality. No child was conceived of it, thus there be no long-lasting punishment. The damages done were well within his rights, a few couches and some dented walls are meaningless if it means we can all leave here peacefully."

"Well said." Chimed Lady Sitri with a smile.

"Oh~ Uzu-tan is so serious, So-tan. Isn't he scary." Said the Leviathan dramatically hiding behind her sister, before it seemed to occur to her what she was doing and quickly hugged the girl aggressively and shielded her from the teen. "I'll protect you, So-tan!"

"Cut it out." Snapped Menma, "This is no time for jokes." His dark glare locked with her violet one and she merely winked at him, his glare lost its rancor instead becoming coloured with confusion.

"I want him, Rias-chan I'll swap you a rook piece for him!" She let go of Sona and seemed to appear across the room and captured Rias's hands in her own. "Oh pretty please, you can have one of my pieces and I'll take the big scary boy off your hands!" Pleaded Serafall. Menma's eyes widened before he could reply however his chest retched with pain once more, making him shudder.

"What is wrong with you, son?" Asked Lord Phenex, adressing him like a father would a child.

"Don't call me that." Spat Menma, even if the man used it as a general term, it brought up far to many old wounds he left behind him many years ago. "If I knew I'd have fixed it by now." He answered anyway.

"Hmm..." Lord Phenex, hummed in thought. "What kind of pain is it?"

"The kind that hurts." Answered the Uzumaki shortly. The man merely gave him a blank stare, "Stabbing...It's a stabbing pain." He answered awkwardly.

"Hm..." The man always fucking hummed, Menma wanted to stab him in the throat to make him stop with the fucking humming. So instead he pinched his nose close, Lord Phenex looked at the boy in shock.

"Stop humming." Ordered the teen, straight faced. The man almost broke into laughter at the audacity but decided against it as the boy had small droplet of sweat run down his cheek.

"Very well." Answered the Phenex, the boy released his nose and went back to trying to blend into the wall. "From the sounds of all this conflict the Evil Piece inside of you is being rejected. If it keeps up the Piece will be destroyed and you'll end up a stray, this can happen if the King relinquishes control over the Piece or if the Master and Servant have such a great clash of emotions that the bond is severed, thus killing the piece anyway."

"But it's the reason I'm alive...If it's taken out won't I die?" Queried the boy, only getting the shake of the Lord's head and a reassuring smile, well it may have been intended to reassure. But he felt pretty fucking on edge at the moment.

"Did you hear that, Menma-chan!" Came the explosive voice into his ears, Menma was almost blacking out he was in so much pain, he really didn't hear much. "Rias-chan is gonna let me have you, then we can be best friends and turn that frown upside down, and you can even be in my show!" She gabbed his face and gasped at the idea. "It'll be awesome! You don't look good, Menma-chan..." She observed seeing his rapidly paling face. His drooping eyes and his shaking hands.

"Rias, take the piece back." Ordered Lord Gremory, seeing the boy deteriorate before his eyes.

The girl crossed the room, moved Menma's hands away from his chest with little to no resistance and muttered a small phrase before plunging her hand into his chest, it rippled like water as she took the rook piece back. It was slightly cracked and had blue smoke rising off it. From the look of it, it tried to integrate with him and ended up getting attacked by his body as a virus would. Though it seemed the piece tried to absorb some of his power.

Menma's limp body hit the ground face first as Serafall crouched over him and placed her pale blue piece on his chest, it sunk in as she chanted out a quick phrase, his body was coated in a frosty aura for a moment before it seemingly vanished and he remained asleep.

**Inner World**

"Just fucking die!" Roared the Uzumaki as he began ripping apart an army of vaguely humanoid shadows, these were mere dummies for him to vent his anger against, like portable punching bags.

"The endless shit you are getting yourself in to is actually worrying me, Menma." Said the voice of his Grandfather. "I don't what happened but you seem to have been cut out of the life cycle again for a moment. This isn't DBZ, you aren't a Sayain. Stop getting killed." Ordered the old man.

Menma at this time merely swung his arm towards the right, a wave of force knocking hundreds of shadows into the air, only to be killed by his other hand from multiple needle thin lasers. "This shit isn't my doing. These fucking Devil's just keep using me for their own amusement!" Bellowed the teen, crushing the skull of a shadow with his bare hands.

"Listen here kid. Getting this worked up is unhealthy, you just need to learn to roll with the punches. What was that little pearl of wisdom you gave the nun? We are defined by the challenges in our life or some shit like that? It's pretty applicable here. If you just keep getting angry about everything you have no control over you'll have a fucking heart attack."

"So what?! I just roll over like a good little bitch and let them keep fucking me!?" He screamed at the 'sky'.

"This wont bring them back to you kid. They aren't coming back." Said his Grandfather suddenly.

"Leave." Said Menma, his whole body language shut down and his ice was like a frozen tundra.

"That isn't going to either."

"If I see them again. I'll kill them with my own two hands. I will rend their flesh and flay their minds until they _beg_ for death. That's the only reason I would see them again. So just shut your fucking mouth and get out of my head you useless sack of flesh." Snarled the boy as he shut his mind down and fell deeper into his subconscious.

**Hours Later**

Menma's eyes lazily opened to the scent of lavender and rain, he sighed contently. He fucking loved rain-smell, and lavender belonged to a certain somebody he was more than happy to snuggle with, like a dirty dirty loser.

No fucks given.

He pulled the entity that held this smell closer though instead of that familiar smaller frame that seemed to mesh perfectly with his own, it was a...Squishier (?) body with two extra squishy bits mashing into his chest.

"Wait a second..." He opened his eyes and instead of the face of his darling he was greeted by the face of Serafall, Menma's eyes widened, reality quickly crashing back onto him like a pile of bricks, looking around he could honestly say he had no fucking idea where he was.

"Ngh...Go back to sleep, Ma-chan...I'm sweepy and you're so comfy..." Whined the childish girl, though once again he was reminded of the fact that she was far from physically childish given the fact that those rather large orbs mashed against him once more.

"How in the fuck..?" He whispered, thoroughly confused.

"Just be quiet. It's bad enough she dragged me in here. I had no idea I'd have to share you with my sister..." Mumbled a voice from behind him, as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. That voice he knew.

"Sona, how in the fuck did this happen!?" He managed out without flat out demanding the world explain its fucking self.

"Onee-sama is very...Particular about things that catch her eye. Congratulations. You're about to be in the same boat I have for my whole life."

"Meaning?"

"She's going to fawn over you and embarrass you at the worst possible times." Informed the more petite sister.

"That's all well and good but doesn't explain why the three of us are in the same bed together."

"When you blacked out she immediately claimed you, then decided she was tired and grabbed us both before bringing us to her home. As to why she wished to sleep with you. I have no idea. But she does know about us. So that's one thing you don't have to worry about around her."

"She what?" He asked, ice running down his back.

"Onee-sama knows about our relationship. So I assume has decided to claim you as her own to either, share another thing I have, or to not-so-subtly make us spend more time together. Since it will give her even more of a reason to visit at random times."

"Great. Just great." He sighed, but grimaced as Serafall began making kissy faces at him in her sleep. It was at this point he found out just how damned strong she was.

He wasn't sure how to deal with this shit.

**End.**

**Shorter, sorry. I'm really tired. See you all next chapter.**

**3**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**More impulsive choices this chapter woo!**

**I'll get around to Borderlands Elite and Cursed one when I feel like it. That's all I can give you. Borderlands Elite was the ultimate whim story, I just wrote a few chapters for shits and giggles. It'll be updated when it is. That's all I can tell you. As for Cursed one, pretty much the same, when I get to it.**

**Yinko: I know right? God I come up with good ideas on the fly. #Humblebrag ;)**

**LordGhostStriker: Yup. Pretty much.**

**Start!**

The Hunter stood before the glowing loot within the sewers of Yharnam, the Hunter grew a smile upon his masked face at the sight of the familiar yellow orb that promised happiness. Though when the Hunter retrieved the loot, it was not something that allowed his smile to continue, no.

It was a bloodied ribbon, original white, now smeared with innocent blood. The Hunter gasped under his mask, his gloved hand shaking slightly as he held the bloodied ribbon. The girl. Gascoigne's daughter, Viola's daughter. He could not have ruined her innocent heart with that red brooch, instead he directed her towards the Oedon Chappel. The kindly blind man would surely keep her safe, the incense would ward off beasts, The Hunter would check in on her regularly in between his trips about this damned city.

But no.

She had gone through the sewers, or was dragged down here, and her frail little corpse was smeared with her own blood and entrails, her bright blue eyes blank and lifeless. The Hunter fell to his knees in horror, that this evil world was so cruel as to kill a child. This horror turned to guilt, guilt that he did not escort her, that he did not care for the child that claimed to love him as dearly as her parents and grandfather, he should have helped her more.

Menma's eyes widened as he stared at the screen before him, his Hunter still as he stared at the item he acquired. "This game...Is fucking dark." He shook his head at this, a sad sigh leaving his lips as he sunk deeper into his chair.

"Ma-chan! Let's go play!" Came the boisterous voice of his new 'Master'. His new King, Serafall Leviathan.

"I _am _playing and it's very fucking emotional! Go away!" He shouted at his door. The damned girl followed him home so she could drop in and out as she pleased. Sona...He didn't know how she felt about the apparent whims of her sister, the heiress seemed a little indifferent but when Serafall got all cuddly he could spot the annoyance on her face from space.

That was another thing, he didn't know how to approach Serfall. In a way he kind of owed her, she got his ass away from the Red-cunt patrol and essentially left him to his own devices so he could keep living as he usually did. Though the consistent drop ins ever few days were somewhat welcomed? He didn't know what he felt about this woman really. It wasn't negative, by any stretch but then again he wasn't exactly a positive person either.

"!" She gasped, throwing the door open, before jumping on him, curling up in his lap and hugging his head into her bosom, "If you're sad, Levi-tan will make you happy my cute little Rook! Don't worry!" She proclaimed oh so loudly, poor Miyo ran out of the room in shock. Before almost immediately running back in like a spaz.

"Your tits aren't what I need at the moment." Replied Menma staring at her with narrowed eyes, she merely giggled at him before turning around in his lap and demanding to know what he was playing.

"Ugh...For someone so powerful I don't know why you're wasting your time here..." He commented idly, making himself more comfortable. Picking her up around the waist and crossing his legs before setting her back down.

"Oh you." She leaned into his chest and pat his cheek, the grimace on his face was ignored. "Levi-tan said we would be best friends, you can't escape her magical love!" She promised with very strange conviction, "Now what is this!" That odd crawling sensation in his stomach would no cease and he was getting a little fed up with it.

Fucking Devils.

"...It's called Bloodbourne. I just found a little girls ribbon, I told her to go somewhere safe and she must've gone through the sewers or something and got fucked up by the various monsters down here. So now I'm a sad panda." He explained after sighing, Serafall gave a lengthy 'Oh' in response.

"Because a little girl died?" She asked curiously.

"Well yeah, I killed her dad in a boss fight, found out her mother was killed by her dad when he was fuckin' beast-mode, so she was all alone, then to drive the fuckin' stake into my heart the developers made one of her lines 'I love you as much as mum and dad! And Gradpa. Shit is sad." He informed further.

"What about all this stuff!" She immediately turned her attention from the TV to his monitor, shifting in his lap and grinding where she really shouldn't be, "_Damn it woman! You know you're doing this now you're doing this! Don't playing games with me!_" He mentally raged.

"It's an anime called Parasyte, it's pretty friggen good so far." Informed the male with a small frown. Serafall was about to press play but he smacked her hand away, getting a pout from her, "Bad. I'll watch at my own pace." She whined at him but he ignored her.

"Menma-san~! I'm home!" Came Asia's voice, Menma merely tapped at the wall with his foot to let her know he was here as well. He could hear her footsteps on the way down the hall. Serafall merely grinned up at him and seemed to shifted and twist enough to make his body heat up instinctively.

"Oi..." He growled lengthily.

"Menma-san...Eh? When did you get a girlfriend, Menma-san?" Came the meek question from Asia, Menma's face twitched at this, Serafall was eating it up.

"Oh! Ma-chan hasn't told you about us!? Bad Ma-chan. How am I supposed to be friends with your friends if you don't tell them about our love!" She clutched at her heart and stared up at him with big puppy dog eyes, Menma grunted in annoyance.

"She's not my-"

"EH! Menma-san! You can't keep something so big a secret!" Whined Asia, Menma's grimace grew into a frown but she continued. "What's your name? How long have you two been together? Where did you get your outfit it's beautiful!" Gushed the blonde, Serafall just ate up the attention with gluttonous vigor.

"Oi!" Exclaimed the Rook Devil with a boom, Asia stopped her girlish squeals at the 'happy couple'. "This isn't my girlfriend, her name is Sera. She's my King, I'm her Rook. She has no idea what boundaries are." He said, only to cringe when the woman grinded into his crotch once more, "What the hell! If you want to have sex say it! Stop rubbing on my dick so much!" Asia's face went bright red and she quickly closed the door and left.

"Ooh! Ma-chan! So frisky. Hmm...OK! Let's do it!" Throwing her hat off and immediately snatching the controller from his hands and tossing it onto the desk despite his bark of annoyance the girl jumped off him and pulled him by the shirt over to the bed.

With a mere flick of her wrist she tore his short off, ruining it. He was going to gripe about it but didn't bother in the sight of her suddenly naked body. She was essentially perfect, her hip and waist size complimented one another, her nipples were a deliciously pink colour, that and she was spotless in the body hair department.

"Muu~ Ma-chan. If you keep eating me up with your eyes, what will be left for this..." She grabbed his junk over his pants, never one to back down he immediately shed them and reveled in the cool feeling of her fingers dancing across his weapon was exciting to say the least.

So he did as any hot blooded being would, and threw her onto the bed, before lifting her waist and going to fuckin' down on her nethers. The Mao squealed in delight as his well trained tongue prodded ever contour of her sacred place.

With that toe curling goodness came the arching of her back, thrusting her crotch further into his face, "_Oh my sweet merciful Hellspawn! It takes like a snowcone! Holy shit this is delicious! I like to think I can eat pussy pretty well but talk about a fuckin' incentive!_" Were the inner thoughts of the teen as his eyes opened just wide enough to see the pure bliss on her face.

"Oh~! Ma-chan that's so good~! You're so enthusiastic, I love it!" She called out wantonly.

There were a few tricks he picked up over the years, ever so gently he put her clitoris between he teeth, she twitched, as he then shoved two fingers deep into her, and as they hit her right in the G-spot she came feverishly, thankfully though she was not a squirter.

That is piss, for those who don't know.

No instead was just good ol' lady lubricant that meant she was ready for the D. Reaching into his bedside table and fishing out his box of condoms the breathy question came, "Why are you doing that Ma-chan..?"

He paused for a moment, blood flowing like a raging river of lava through his veins, "Because I don't particularly want kids at the moment...?" The statement did end up coming out sounding like a question really, mostly because of the confusion at her confusion.

"But we could make such cute babies..." She pouted, red faced and sweaty didn't seem to mean anything, she would pout when she pleased.

"...Another time?"

"Oh fine, you twisted my arm, now hurry up and fuck me 'till I can't walk." She ordered with a giggle. Menma paused for a moment.

"_My Darkness...She's perfect!_" Slipping on his helmet he once more grabbed her waist and lined up, with the traditional teasing first penetration fuck-up, he lined up once more and swiftly impaled her with his man-mast.

That 'O' face women made always did tickle his ego in just the right way.

The frosty feeling her insides had did persist, it was fucking magical how it felt. The heat coming from him and the slight chill coming from her, ugh the self-control was real let's put it that way.

**Later: Afternoon**

Menma left him room in his underwear, the messed up form of his King panting and passed out on his bed, her hair was a mess as was most of her actually, apparently she had a thing for cumshots. He was more than happy to comply to such a request as he was a gentleman.

He glazed the bitch.

Walking into the kitchen he grabbed the tropical juice and poured himself a glass, the redfaced Asia stepping out of the shower and walking into the kitchen with only a towel on. "Sup." Greeted the Uzumaki, making her jump, he pulled out another glass. "Juice?" He offered with a grin, only to have the nun run out of the room and into hers in a heartbeat.

"HAHAHA! Oh yes. I could get used to that." Several hours of sex that could possibly kill your average human really could put a smile on anyone's face. Downing his glass the Uzumaki took a moment to stand in silence, though like every other time.

There was a FUCKING KNOCK!

Though he was in too good a mood to have this snap him, walking to the door and opening it he was greeted with the sight of Issei and Koneko. "Odd pair to see at my door. What do you want, sprogs?" He asked crossing his arms, ignoring the blush they both rapidly got.

"Uh-uh-uh, we came to see Asia. She was supposed to go out for lunch with us."

"You're hanging out with her a lot recently Issei. I don't really care but I will say this." He grabbed the boys face and rose his other hand up, lightning danced over his knuckles as the fist lit up in glorious azure flames, "I'll destroy you in ways you can't imagine if you try to talk her into turning. I'll rip out your insides and make you eat them. I'll..." Menma paused for a moment, before he narrowed his gaze a little at the boy. "You're stronger? What happened to you, Issei?" Asked Menma, letting go of his face.

The boy smiled brightly, his face still pale as a sheet though, "I finally got my Sacred Gear working better." Menma nodded with a small smile.

"Ah, well done. I know a good way to train more efficiently if you have some spare time tomorrow. Nothing major just a quick little scan of how you are now and then a regime for you to use in your own time."' Said Menma, Issei glittered at the offer.

"_I don't even have to put effort into my lies..._" He sighed internally. Almost face-palming at the blatant way the boy put his trust in him.

"I'll be seeing you again real soon, Issei." He promised, walking back down the hall to his room, "You have guests my dear, Asia." He called out, "I have sexy business to return to." Before he promptly turned on his heel a bit and looked at the pair over his shoulder.

"And Koneko. If you ever want to call out to the heavens in rapturous ecstasy, feel free to come one over." He winked, the girl was already red in the face but the vivid imagery was enough to make her get a little light headed. "My work here is done." He nodded with a righteous smile upon his face.

**Later: Nighttime.**

Finally the solace of quiet was his. He signed contently nothing to bother him all was quiet, just him, Bloodbourne and some music coming off his computer, "Nights like these. Damn I missed them." Just the soothing sounds of Shinedown and the screams of virtual beasts as his company.

Asia was asleep, out like a light and quiet as a mouse.

"Come on Bloodstarved beast, you twisted piece or ass. Oh get parried fucker!" The sight of his Hunter driving his hand into the skull of the beast was something truly beautiful in his eyes. His phone started buzzing.

"Sadly I cannot answer at this moment, caller." He said absently, absorbed in the boss fight. Because he was about to finish it, and this fucker got really crazy at low hp, that one-hit combo was bullshit.

Sadly however minute his concentration lapsed for a second and the beast managed to get the grab on him, tearing apart his health bar leaving it at roughly 2 %, the slow poison already ticking away before he managed to get up, blasting through 3 health vials whilst mashing the shit out of the circle button he frowned. Two-handing his Kirkhammer he mashed the beast right in the face, staggering it, and charged up an R2, the satisfying explosion of blood signaling he'd won.

"Oh thank fuck. I was gonna kill someone if I had to put up with that again. The run back is far too trying on my patience." He said, placing the controller down and grabbing his phone, calling back the person who almost got him friggen killed.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Oh finally. What the hell took you so long?" Came the familiar voice.

"Grandpa? What the fuck are you calling me for?"

"I'm back in town and I figured I'd come to visit my grandson, forgive me for presuming you'd like to see me." He drawled sarcastically. Menma sighed and rubbed the ridge of his nose.

"Well I still live at the same place so make your way over."

"There's a bunch of strays out here. I don't know why but I figured I'd tell you. You might want to do some clean-up, they look pretty ravenous." Menma almost slammed his face into the desk in annoyance. "If it's any conciliation I think they're pretty powerful, be a good chance to have a proper fight with something."

"Yeah. Fine. Where are you?"

"On the north side of town. You can track them right? If not just follow my signal." The old man hung up and Menma sighed in once more. Fishing into his wardrobe for the most obscure looking piece of clothing he owned to this day, a black duster with a silver wolf's head sewn on the back.

"The amount of money I paid for this and I hardly ever get to wear it. Well time to go and murder in style." He slipped on his killin' shoes and his killin' gloves, along with his catalyst ring and teleported towards the northern end of the city.

**North End**

Menma appeared on top of a roof, creating a swarm of firefly sized orbs around the top of his head, forming an arch and jumping off, bat wings exploding from his waist, he was unsteady for a moment but managed to get the hang of it rather quickly. "Probably should have practiced more but this will do for the moment." He muttered, dropping down where he felt his grandfather's essence.

Landing in the street he look to his left and saw the old man.

He looked as young as ever, boasting the look of a man in his late twenties. Long black hair that hung slightly over one eye, a pair of black orbs stuck firming into his skull that looked at the world around him with apathy. The spike mane that fell down to his waist could be used as a friggen carpet. His fair skin and dark clothing made the poor bastard get so many 'goth' comments it wasn't funny anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen, Madara Uchiha.

Now you're asking, 'But Menma why does your grandpa have a different name to you?' He was adopted. Which was pretty funny actually, he was tossed out by his original parents as a baby, then adopted and then left behind by them, bunch'a cunts, eh?

The sheer coincidence that Madara and Menma were both of the arcane blood was something the old man counted as a blessing. His daughter was...Not normal by any stretch, but she never had any interest in learning from him.

"Sup old man." Greeted the younger to the elder.

"Sup little boy." He returned easily, nudging his head towards the left, "They're that way. C'mon." Madara rose a brow at the sight of the small orbs. "What's with the light show?"

"I can very well see in the fuckin' dark can I?" Replied the teen.

"That's why I told you to start with Blood Magic, but no~. Someone doesn't want to attract attention." Said the old man as the pair walked towards the apparent Stray hideout.

"I was 6 ya dickhead! Who offers murder magic to a 6 year old?!" He growled out, "And _then_ you decided to lock it away in the back end ass of my lexicon!"

"Oh? You haven't figured out how to break that little lock yet? It's basic stuff." Replied Madara with a smirk of supreme smugness etched onto his face.

"Yeah well...I haven't actually looked at the Lexicon in a few months, brought it out last week but didn't get to use it."

"Come now little man, who would have thought you were so lazy that you don't even try to get into the best part of a book. Tsk tsk tsk, where did I go wrong with you?" He sighed dramatically and pat the younger males head, "Don't worry, Jii-sama is back to fix you Menma-chan." He said, putting on his best 'old man' voice.

"Don't do that. it's fucking creepy." Menma shivered only to look at the man and see he had a fake beard on, sweatdropping at the sight.

"Hohoho! Menma-chan, don't be so disrespectful to your elders, hohoho!" Menma grimaced at the man who was doing the closed eye smile and all, "It's a miracle anyone wanted to reproduce with you..." He rubbed his forehead in attempts to banish the old man like a delusion.

"Oh fuck off, you love me you little fag. 'Jii-sama can we go to the park!' or 'Jii-sama! Can you push me on the swings!' or-or 'Jii-sama can I sit on your shoulder's I can't see.' And I would always say yes because you were my little man." A fake sniffle later and the man looked at the younger with overly sad eyes, "You used to be so cute, I don't know what happened to my little boy." For the first time in years Menma felt his face flush at the memories, good as they were this was not the time nor place for such things.

"Oh shut up!" Snarled the boy, summoning his lexicon and smacking the man in the forehead with it. "You're such a dick."

"That makes you gay, you love a dick! HAHA!" Madara prodded his face with his finger, Menma snarled.

"I fucked the Leviathan today thank you very much good sir! If I end up fucking a dude, you'll be the first one I tell."

"Of course you would, your Jii-sama will never judge your life choices." Madara pat the teen on the shoulder, nodding seriously.

"I'm going to kill you one day."

**Stray Hideout.**

"Lasers!" Announced a voice, the various gathering of stray demons all turned their eyes to see various bright blue beams of light cutting through the wall slicing the everloving shit out of it, it crumbled down revealing two figures, one had a large mop of spikey hair whilst the other was sporting a long-coat.

"Alright you fucksticks. Got a story or should I just kill you all?" Asked Menma disinterestedly.

They all got battle ready, "Holy shit talk about the misfit gang." Said the older male, "A bunch of Yokai from the looks of it, what did you Master kick you out of his zoo or whatever?" Asked the old man, crossing his arms, reminiscent of a bygone era.

"M-Master? H-he left us..." Squeaked one of the shorter ones, Madara was tired of looking at the dark, with a click of his fingers small fireballs lit up the whole room/house.

"Orly?" Questioned Menma, looking them over.

"Oh that's rare. A Hebi-onna..." Said Madara, humming as he looked at them. "Haven't seen one of you in years." Said creature was a snake-woman, she had rich chocolate coloured skin, with bright yellow eyes and long purple hair that hung around her wide hips. She had scales around her hands, feet and neck, these scales were blacker than a moonless night. The long serpentine tail that waved slowly behind her had a blood red underside, she wore a simple t-shirt and jeans combo though it looks like the shirt was a little small, if you catch ma drift. "Someone's a little far from home, Red bellied black snake...Hmm." Commented the older man.

"Urge to kill...Conflicting with urge to cuddle..." Struggled out the Uzumaki, Madara gave a small confused hum before following his grandsons line of sight. "Oh a Kitsune." He commented dully.

She was either young, or a total loli. Neither things would stop his Grandson from loving the fuck out of her. She had short red hair the hung around the nape of her neck, sparkling blue eyes and lightly tanned skin. A single crimson tail swung behind her, as her ears twitched atop her head. It was the picture of evil cuteness, she wore a simple little red dress and ballet flats. Why was it evil? Because it was _too_ cute.

There was a big creature, what looked like a mix between a human and a monkey actually scratch that, he looked like a Super Saiyan 4, a pretty human looking man with the muscles of a silverback gorilla and looked he could rip your arms off by looking about you wrong. He had short black hair and matching fur around his arms, though a hairless chest area, he only wore baggy dark blue pants.

Finally was a purely feral looking creature, it looked like a Cerberus, but smaller. With a scorpion tail and a wicked looking horn on each head. It towered over the rest of them and growled lowly at the pair of black haired men.

"Well...I gotta say this wasn't what I was expecting when you said there was a bunch of Stray's in the area..." Admitted Menma, looking to the older man who shrugged.

"A-Are you like Master?" Questioned the little fox girl.

"A Devil?" He asked with a tilt of the head, getting a quick nod in response, the snake woman was staring at him so intently it felt like she was standing right next to him. Someone had a pretty intense presence.

"Yeah! Master said if..." She narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her face.

"If we were lucky some foolish Devil would take our useless hides in." Said the monkey man with a growl, his tail twitching in annoyance as he did so.

"Well I'm not a High-Ranking Devil...So I don't have an Evil Piece set." Admitted Menma.

"Aren't you fucking the Leviathan?" Asked Madara.

"Yeah why?"

"Don't you also happen to be one of her pieces?" He asked once more.

"Yeah, I'm her Rook...How the fuck do you know that?" Queried the young man.

"Nevermind that. Just ask her to hook how you can start getting contracts, or you could do some crazy militaristic move and earn prestige that way, _or_ you could wait until she has a rating game against someone, and then wreck shit to rank up. Who knows you might technically just be High-Rank through association." Said Madara.

"How the fuck do you know all these things." Asked the Uzumaki with narrowed eyes.

"You have no idea how old I am." Was the only answer he got in response.

"Whatever. Live on impulse. C'mon ya weirdo's there's a spare apartment next to mine. We'll knock down some walls or whatever." He said, baying they come with him, they didn't move however.

"Why should we bother going with someone who just broke down the wall to our hideout." Asked the serpent woman with a glare.

"Because the other Devils in this city will kill you at the drop of a hat. I've had a really good day however, and happen to be impulsive as fuck. So you have two options, die either by the random dickheads around _or_ come with me now and not die." He offered with a shrug, already turning to leave.

"Huh...And here I thought there would be some murder tonight." Said Madara, sighing with mild sadness and disappointment. "It must have been my nostalgia generating Jii-sama-ness. Hah!" Puffing out his chest Madara too, left through the broken wall.

"Uh..." Said the small fox, looking at her feet nervously. "I don't know what to do..." She admitted.

"Well...We have to move anyway." Said the monkey-man, looking around the ruined house with a bored look. "If all else fails we can just kill him while he sleeps." He said with a shrug, walking out with his hands behind his head, the giant dog following.

"Here's to not being dead for a few more hours." Said the snake woman with a deadpan sigh. Picking up the fox girl and following after the other two.

**End of Chapter.**

**Like I said. Whim. Impulse. Don't question my methods. Know only that they are mad.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Bl4ze777: I have no fucking idea what you just said. Or what you're referring to.**

**guisniperman: Oh darling guisniperman-senpai, you teach me such wonderful things. 3.**

**Rant I guess? (Read or Don't it doesn't impact the story.): So I was derping about the pages of people I hate because I like to keep my furnace of distaste flowing healthily. Anyway so I was looking at a few random links and one went to Tumblr, filthy place, and apparently these little snowflakes decided to start blacklisting flamers...For fuckin' real. I'm not kidding here. Rather than ignoring people with the power of having a fucking spine, they are blacklisting people that dislike their stories. I mean holy fucking balls were they castrated? Get some thicker skin ya pansies. 'But they're super mean and I don't like it' Then don't fucking read your comments/reveiws not everyone is going to like something you produce, if you're so easily offended that you have to start a fucking blacklist, you should not be on the internet.**

**But that's just me, I can react pretty poorly myself. I'm willing to admit that, but the day that I join a bunch of pathetic, whiny bitches and start blacklisting people who don't like the random-ass shit I produce, is the day I shoot myself in the fucking head.**

**I'm talking about fairy tail dragon slayer. I fuckin' hate him/her/it? I just do. And I like to be transparent. So yeah. Found the link on its page. Actually I'm reading through it at the time of writing this part, it's fucking hilarious. 'We shouldn't fear them! (Flamers) We have the power to fight against them if we team up and stick together!' Direct. Fucking. Quote. If you too wish to be super-enlightened to the one tru path of being a massive bitch, go to 'Team Rwuby' on tumblr and read that cesspit. Art's good though.**

**The level of lol's I am currently experiencing, I have not had in many moons. **

**That was pretty cathartic. Anyway on to the story. **

**After thinking about it I almost took off the whole rant, But didn't. It's not exactly angry or extremely hateful. I just felt the need to vent a little and you don't have to read it.**

**Start**

Menma kicked down the wall separating his apartment and the one next to him, uncaring for how much noise it made, Holding his arms out for a moment two transparent sapphire beams stood in place to support the ceiling where the wall once was.

"Couldn't you have made a door, Aniki?" Asked the little fox-girl. Menma managed out a strangled gurgle instead of responding. "Aniki..? Are you ok?" She asked concern crossing her little face.

"God-MOTHERFUCKINGSHITCUNT!" He screamed out, grabbing his head in pain. The little girl not knowing what to do only pat his head as he fell to his knees.

"Corrupting children again I see." Said Madara, drinking juice from the carton before smiling brightly and patting the head of the little fox girl, "Take care of your Aniki for Jii-sama, Tama-chan." The girl nodded, her little cheeks puffed and she hugged his head and pat his head. "Good luck, Menma." Said Madara with a chuckle.

"Mou...Menma-san what's all this noise." Came the sleepy voice of Asia, "EHH!? Who broke the wall!" She exclaimed in shock. Menma merely separated himself from Tama who looked up at him with a smile.

"I'll help you whenever, Aniki!" She gave a thumbs up and he merely clutched his heart and grimaced.

"Oh god, the sweetness...I think I just got diabetes..." He grouched, shaking his head. "Go and introduce yourself to Asia, Tama..." He bid her off and returned to what he was doing. "Ugh...I need to kill someone, or I'm going to end up turning into a little bitch. Tiny girl power, too strong." He shivered as he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.

Turning around he came face to face with Anna, the snake woman, her unmoving frigid eyes staring hell into his own. "…"

"Nice to see you to." He greeted breezily, blowing a strand of hair out of his face.

"I'm watching you." She informed.

"I can see that, Anna. Do you have any other startling revelations to lay on me or can I get back to what I was doing?" He replied sarcastically, her eyebrows narrowed minutely, but she did release him, he flicked the transparent beams and magic filled in the missing segments behind each one, leaving a gap big enough to be considered as a door, he clapped his hands together and the wall became solid. Dusting off his hands he nodded, "Oi, Gin. The door's opened." The monkey man stuck his head around the corner, he saw the 'door' and nodded.

"Thanks." He said quietly, before passing into the other apartment and making a b-line for the nearest bed.

"After you Anna." The snake woman merely glanced at him before walking in and running her tail along the side of his face. Menma was unaware what she was trying to accomplish, but he did absently bat it away and go back down the hall to the lounge room, Tama was sitting talking animatedly with Asia.

Madara appeared behind him, "Hm. Give the blond a few more years to mature. I'd hit it." He said absently, Menma looked at the man blankly, he only smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Aniki! Onee-chan is really nice! She brushed my tail!" She offered the tail to him for him to confirm this, Menma just sighed and pat her head, the girl sparkled under his touch, the air seemed to bubble and grow exceeding colourful as he did so. He didn't bother questioning it anymore.

A small bark at his heel allowed him to see the now tiny cerberus, wagging his little tail happily. Menma knelt down and scratched the creature under its chins. "Guess we gotta get food for you, eh?" He observed quietly as the now small creature rolled over and whined for him to scratch his belly. Menma shook his head and did so. "Bloody dogs..."

"Aniki...Gin-chan and Anna-Nee took all the beds. Can I sleep with Onee-chan?" She asked.

"Is that ok with you, Asia?" He asked, the girl nodded and smiled brightly the little fox and the Nun took off to the blonde girls room.

"You can have the couch." Said the Uzumaki leaving the room with small dog at his heel, Madara's shoulders slackened and he sighed pitifully.

**Next Day**

Menma and his new cohorts were out on the town picking up clothing for the Yokai, he stood at the front of the store bored out of his mind, fiddling with his phone as Asia gave reaction-help to the various clothes that Anna was trying on. Gin was being made bag-bitch by Tama, grouchily helping the girl carry all the shit she'd picked out.

He almost felt sorry for the monkey man, then he didn't. It was quite the process.

Madara was the one paying today so he was really only here to get out of the house, because when he was there people kept fucking bothering him. Menma then sighed, as he knew the second he felt those three signatures come up the street he was going to have no peace today. Fallen Angels.

Moving his hair aside he looked down the street and saw them, a short blonde lolita, a tall man in a grey duster with a matching fedora and a woman in a purple dress with black hair. All of them around the same level of power as the bondage-cunt. He closed his phone and tucked it away.

The blonde girl noticed him the second he dropped his shroud, the hate in her eyes was delicious. He merely gestured towards an alleyway with his head and made his way there hands in pockets though his face lifting into a grand smile.

It didn't take long for them to get there, "Well. What can I do for you fine folks? I can only assume you were looking for some strapping Devil when your little leader was slain."

"You killed Raynare-neesama!" Snarled the blonde girl, Menma bowed exaggeratedly and smiled brightly.

"Oh indeed I did, put my fist right through her face and out the other side. It was quite the sight to see. they say vengeance solves nothing but I found it quite cathartic." Chuckling at the rage lining the smaller girls face.

"Raynare proved she was weak. We will rectify the situation and kill you were you stand, filthy Devil." Said the man, black wings bursting from his back the other two followed suit shortly. A click of the fingers resounded above them, they all looked up to see Madara looking down at them.

"Enjoy a little privacy, my dear Fallen." As he spoke a barrier formed up around any opening the alleyway could have had, such as the way back onto the street, or the sky above them. "A nice cage for you all."

"Now I know what you're thinking. Thinking I'm locked in here with you because it's 3 v 1. Usually that would be the case. But I'm quite ready to rip some flesh and suck out your souls, so my dear darlings. _You_ are locked in here with **me**." Summoning him wolves they leapt at the black haired woman who flew upwards though she did not expect one to jump atop the other and leap after her. The blonde girl made a B-line for the Uzumaki who sidestepped her frail little punch and jumped over the lightspear sent by the man.

"I don't know why but killing you should be the most fun." He told her, his hands lightning up with lightning he drove his knee into her chin lifting her slightly before hammering her into the ground with both his hands netted together. The faceplant was quite nice to see. Opening a portal and falling into it Menma appeared behind the man in the fedora and opened with a roundhouse to the spine, forcing him to skid down onto the ground and hid the lolita.

Placing his hands together Menma formed a red orb of light, only to falter as a light spear shot right through his right leg, the Uzumaki let out a hissed screech, gritting his teeth as the light energy burnt his skin. Coating his hands in magic he squeezed the spear until it shattered.

He turned to see the black haired woman with her hand out stretched, growling he reached out with his hand black magic leaping off it and forming a clawed hand loosely connected to his palm, "_Death Grip!_" He intoned, the claw wrapped around her throat and with a fierce yank he pulled her down to him, his arm coating in magic, forming a bladed shell, and as she sailed towards him he leaned forward and impaled the bitch to his elbow right through the chest and out right between her wings. She gave a gurgled gasp as he changed the shell from a solid edge to raging flames. The fear and terror in her eyes shifted to unspeakable pain as her flesh was set alight.

A storm of purple magic rose up from around his feet, his eyes turning completely violet, sclera and all, his canines lengthening as he sunk them into her still untouched neck the purple magic leapt onto her body and began draining all the raw magical energy from her veins, several little explosions formed in the stream signaling the light magic attempting to rebel against the magical vampirism. Though not demonic in nature it still attempted to repel the dark-natured magic that was engrained in Menma's DNA. Instead of directly absorbing it into his own reserves he kept it outside of his body and used it to cast, a _Greater Healing Wave_ the rush of mending energies over his wound forced it to close.

Kicking the flaming corpse off him he bounced on both legs and felt only a slight twinge at the risidual energy beneath his skin, he'd get that sorted later. Looking at the two dizzy Fallen get to their knees Menma summoned his lexicon, gesturing a flicking motion the book flew open to the very end, looking at the lock his Grandfather put on it he almost face-palmed. "A fucking tile puzzle...Darkness I want to hit myself." Keeping one eye on them and quickly solving the short puzzle he saw them both get upright at roughly the same time.

The little girl had blood running from her nose and a large red mark on her neck and the underside of her chin, the man only had a few visible scrapes as his clothes seemed to have sucked up most of the damage from being skipped like a stone across the pavement.

Menma summoned the small orbs of magic to arch over his head once more, his hands lit up with a raging storm of flames, his breath was visible with the purple mist that came from his mouth and his wolves were once more summoned to his side. Menma _Blink'ed_ forward and smashed his fist right through the girls chest whilst his wolves badgered the man, once more kicking a corpse off his arm he quickly turned around and grabbed the leg that was coming his way, pulling the fedora-fag in his direction Menma placed both his palms on the mans chest and expelled all the magic he kept around his body at the present time, the explosive force spread gore across the alleyway. Menma sighed lengthily, with his sigh came a flood of purple mist that seeped onto the ground, robbing the corpses of what little magic remained in their bodies.

"Well I'll be damned, how'd you figure out how to sap raw un-typed magic from the bodies of your enemies?" Asked Madara, dropping the barrier and landing next to his grandson.

"Mashed a few spells together from the Lexicon and made a new one." He answered absently, sucking in the purple mist with great, greedy gulps of air.

"Hmm. Never took you for the spell-craft type. Either way I'm impressed, when we get home we'll get that wound checked out and make sure nothing terrible happens to your poor wittle weg." Mocked the older man, patting the younger's head, Menma merely turned and blew smoke in his face getting a splutter from the Uchiha.

**At Home. **

Asia was using her 'Twilight Healing' on the area of 'infection' the light energy under his skin had formed into a large angry purple welt, though he was lucky Asia was essentially the ultimate Holy Priest and could fix his shit up, that's a reference to wow...Not her time in the church.

Just thought I'd clear that up.

Anyway he was currently on the couch with Tama on his left and Anna on his right, Miyo and Robu (The cerberus, no he didn't get it either) napping at their feet. Asia was sitting on a chair next to the couch while Madara was in the kitchen.

Menma was wearing a pair of shorts so he could have his wound wrapped up in bandages that Asia soaked with the power of her 'Gear, he wasn't aware she could do that until about 20 minutes ago. Just in case some of the residual energy remained.

"Why were you fighting bird-people, Aniki?" Asked Tama, looking at his wounded leg curiously.

"Because I could..?" He said/asked. "I like hurting things, and they happen to be alive, thus I could inflict grievous bodily harm upon them. And I did. I grievous bodily harmed the fuck out of them." He informed, Tama put her hands on his mouth.

"Stop saying the bad words!" She scolded, Menma stared blankly at her until she removed her hands.

"Please don't touch my face." He said blankly.

"Ok." She quickly replied.

"How'd you kill them?" Asked Gin, curiously hanging upside-down on a pull-up bar that was set up in the doorway to the lounge room.

"I set one on fire after stabbing her through the chest, I made another explode through sheer magical force, and then kill the last one with a blink-punch-through-the-chest." Explained the male disinteredly.

"How do the first and last one differ?" Questioned the monkey man, raising a brow. His silvery eyes conveying an odd amount of attention to detail in regard to murder.

"One involves a blink and the other doesn't." He said with a smirk, the small frown on Gin's face looked like a smile considering how he was situated. So it was a moral victory for all really.

"Oh hey, guess who showed up!" Said Madara's obnoxiously cheerful voice, Menma looked to the doorway, a bunch of faces appearing behind Gin's body, "And look who's doing a stand-up job!" He said with equal 'Oh wow look at this' kind of flavor, the smarmy prick.

"Jii-chan, who came over to visit?!" Asked Tama with wonder.

"A bunch of Devils!" He said happily. Tama's wonder turned to fear as she forced Menma to lean forward and quickly hid behind him. Gin put his arms down and unhooked his tail, walking on his hands over to the couch and turning around to veiw the newcomers.

It was Sona and a bunch of fucks who follow her around some times...Her Peerage, those are the ones.

"I think I need a bigger house..." Observed Menma absently, looking around his rapidly crowded room, thankfully it was only two people and one insect, she brought but with himself, Tama, Asia, Madara, Anna, Gin and the two pets it was filling up pretty fuckin' quickly.

It was her Queen, Tsubaki Shinra. A well endowed young woman with long black hair that reached to her thighs, dead straight as well. She wore blue rimmed glasses and had a violet left eye and a light brown right eye. She wore a simple dress shirt and skirt combo.

Next was one of her Knights, Bennia. A half-reaper girl wearing a white, black rimmed hood with a tunic-looking thing, with a length of cloth that fell down to her shins leaving her legs exposed, she did not wear pants. She had dark purple hair and sleepy golden eyes, a little smile seemed perpetually etched onto her face.

And last and certainly least was Genshirou Saji, he had short blond hair and steel grey eyes. He was sporting the classic, t-shirt and jeans combo that all stylish motherfuckers were fond of. But he was Saji. And Menma hated Saji. So he looked like shit.

"What happened to your leg, Menma-kun?" Asked Sona, apparently just throwing the whole 'act like we don't know each other and maintain a super-secret cover' thing out the fuckin' window. Then again with her Peerage no doubt finding out about the veritable shitstorm he'd churned up and the consequential induction into the Leviathan's Peerage, he wasn't too shocked.

"Copped an angry flying dickheads spear to the leg when I was hammer-punching another angry flying dickhead into the pavement. It was pretty worth though." He said with a shrug, as though he didn't have a bunch of random Yokai in his house.

"Pretty careless." Muttered Saji.

"Oh fuck off blondie. I'd like to see you take one three _ants_ at one and not get skullfucked, let alone three Fallen with a grudge." Shot back the Uzumaki, "And remember who's fucking lair you're in dickhead. The old man behind you can atomize everyone you've ever known just by looking at them the wrong way."

"It's true you know." Said a very cheerful Madara, having some delicious orange juice, wearing a bright green shirt and blue shorts.

"...He know's people that can do that..?" Asked Saji to Tsubaki who merely shushed him. Bennia walked over to the black haired man and opened her arms.

"Hug me." She demanded.

"Why?" He asked lazily.

"Because I said so, man-boy. Now hold me to your gorgeous body." She demanded, spreading her arms even wider.

"Oh you twisted my arm." Standing up he picked the smaller being up and she locked her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"Haha! You fell for my trap, you fool! Now I will never leave your side again, mwahahah!" She said animatedly, Menma merely sighing and sitting back down, being careful not to crush Tama.

"Bennia, you know him?" Asked Tsubaki, curiously.

"I can have friends outside the Peerage." Defended the reaper-girl.

"We threw rocks at trees together." Said Menma blankly, the girl's face became all dreamy and distant.

"It was awesome."

Sona sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "For some reason, Onee-sama didn't get your contact information, so she sent me to give you this." Producing a letter.

"I feel like Devil's should just use the internet..." He hummed, walking over to take the letter, "Oh uh...Feel free to sit down. He offered distantly, "Tama, Gin, Anna, this is my girlfriend Sona Sitri. Asia this is my actual girlfriend." The way Saji looked sick was pretty enjoyable. Tsubaki was looking at him with a critical eye though.

"Actual girlfriend?" Asked Sona, as he opened the letter. Rasing a brow.

"Yeah, Serafall came over yesterday and Asia came in when she was sitting on my lap." He answered distantly. Sona crossed her arms and looked up at him though he was engrossed in the letter she was looking like a hawk after its prey.

"Why was Onee-sama on your lap."

"Because she's my King and does whatever she pleases. I was innocently mourning the death of a small child and she just burst into the room, tsk tsk tsk...I have to go to her place in the Underworld...Ugh! I hate teleporting!" He cursed. "No doubt a lure to use me for my body." He said, the little reaper using his body as a hug-post crawled around onto his back and looked over his shoulder.

"She marks letters to you with kisses?" Asked Bennia, curiously.

"Yeah well, sex."

"Menma!" Snapped Sona.

"No no no! You don't get to be mad at me little miss 'If I have to share you with Onee-sama I will.' You don't get to say that and then be mad when we fuck." Rebuked Menma shaking his head and crossing his forearms to form an 'X'.

"You did what!?" Shouted Saji, Tsubaki was so shocked her glasses fell a little.

"This is getting good..." Said Gin, getting a nod from Anna.

"I had no idea she'd show up the day after and sleep with you." Admitted Sona, calming down relatively quickly, putting her hand to her chin. "Damn you, Onee-sama...Always taking what's mine." She muttered.

"Oh come here ya fag." He sighed loudly and pulled her into a hug, Bennia immediately calling out it was a group hug, drawing the small kitsune to leap across the room and join in.

"Yaay!"

"That reminds me..." Said Sona, looking up at her love. "Why do you have all these Yokai in your house." He picked up Tama and held her up for Sona to see.

"Do you see how fucking cute she is." He said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you see!" He shouted pushing the fox-girl into her face and shaking her, making the kitsune dizzy.

"She is pretty cute." Said Madara, nodding.

**Later Underworld**

Showing up via long-distance teleportation circle with his lady Menma and Sona were greeted by the welcoming bosom of Serafall Leviathan, "So-tan! Ma-chan!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too Sera's boobs. Can I talk to her?" He said with a bored look.

"Oh Ma-chan, you're so silly." She said, patting his cheek. "It's good you got here so quickly, I have a super-special job for you and only you!" She hooked her arms with theirs and guided them to a set of chairs. "I need you to keep an eye out on a pair of people who've been sighted in your neck of the woods." She pulled of a file out from behind her back...Somehow. And slid it across to him.

He opened the file and began flicking through it idly, looked a pair of pictures. One was a girl with blue hair, a single green streak in her fringe, brilliant golden eyes a gorgeous face.

The other was a girl with pale brown twin-tails, purple eyes and a pretty alright one the attractive-ness face, she looked dumb for some reason. Just a vibe she could be smart but she exuded the aura of stupidity.

"Oh they're from the church, that explains that feeling." He chuckled to himself.

"What feeling." Asked the Heiress curiously.

"As to why this one looks like a fucking retard. She's religious, and from the looks of it...Raised by the church. Oh this'll be a treat. What do you wish of me, darling?" He asked his King, with a smile.

"Oh you." She said, holding her cheek with one hand and waving him off with the other, "I just want to you keep track of them while they're in town. If you so desire, talk with them, get to know them whatever."

"Oh before I forget. How can I go about getting an Evil Piece set..? I've got a bunch of strays I seem to be accumulating and figure if nothing else it'll stop people around me from being murdered while I'm asleep."

"Oh I knew you were a big sweetie underneath it all!" She squealed in delight.

"Tama is _really_ cute. I could weaponize that shit."

"It's true, the Kitsune girl he's got living with him is very cute." Agreed Sona, sighing and shaking her head.

"Well...By default you're considered at least a Middle-class Devil by being my Rook, so all you need to do is pass a few tests that I give you in order to be eligible for a Rank up."

"It's because you're the Leviathan that I've got it easy, isn't it?"

"Well of course, Ma-chan. I am after all the great and powerful Levia-tan. I will always looks after you, now come and give me some smooches." She leapt over the table and tackled him, Sona removing her glasses quietly and proceeding to hit her head on the table.

"I don't know she had to be _my_ sister."

_**Raxychaz!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Welome back chaps and chapetes. A little quote for you all that I found hilarious, 'I hate three kinds of people, cowards, bullies and people who read stories only for the sex.' - That right there was someone's genuine feelings, and that is fucking hilarious to me. Considering who It came from, and their history.**

**On to reviews.**

**Omnipotent Anomaly: Maybe. Then again I end up doing that in all of my stories for X reason, so I got a little bored of it. **

**darelle1000: She does. The bod is all anyone wants. A curse really.**

**Amused Archer: ALL OF THE HOMO! And thank you kindly, friend. Enjoy your holidays.**

**guisniperman: Fuckin' hell guis, stop guessing all the shit that pops into my head. Gawsh.**

**Guest: As I have said previously, I'll continue it when I continue it. That's really all I can tell you.**

**Start**

Menma and Asia were walking about, the Nun and the Devil just traipsing about the town, mostly as he desired to just hang out, and she was always more than willing to do so. Tama had joined in, sitting on his shoulders for the whole trip, once again not that he minded.

"I should probably go to school and check in on the scene around there..." He said quietly, turning in the direction of said building, it was still very early in the morning and the morning mist was still a little visible, the crisp chill of the morning more than welcome to the gothic-dressed Uzumaki, he got to wear his coat again which is always a positive.

Menma sighed and stroked the vulpine tail that fell down to his waist from his shoulders, the coo's of content coming from his darling little fox more than enough incentive to continue. "Asia...?" He asked, not hearing the second pair of steps next to him, he saw her scared look and followed her line of sight, spotting two white robed figures, one with a large bandaged _totally_ inconspicuous sword on her their back. "Well...That was pretty blood convenient...Huh, I should probably question these things sometimes...But I wont. Oi, robes!" He called out, making Asia jump like she was struck by lightning, Tama jumped off his shoulders and stood beside the nun.

The pair turned, "_Yep. That's them...Not like there was a bloody question..._" He monologued internally, "Would you two happen to be from the church?" He asked with mock curiosity, the brunette nodded happily whilst the bluenette merely did so slowly.

"Now if I may be so bold, what would a pair of young ladies like yourselves be doing in this neck of the woods armed and dangerous as you are?" He asked with a smile so fake it made plastic look natural.

"We're here for our own reasons, citizen. If you could be so kind as to direct us to the local Academy, we have someone we need to meet with." This came from the bluenette. Menma nodded but held up a finger for a moment before rushing back over to Asia, using his body to obscure any view of her they may have, he quickly touched her shoulder and whispered to her.

"Asia, take Tama and go straight home. These two are from the church and so help me Satan I will not let them harm a hair on the pretty little head of yours." Asia's smile made the sun look dull in comparison, she hugged him fiercely, "Also if you tell anyone what I just said I will deny it and then kill that person." This did nothing to dull her brightness though and instead she took Tama and turned back towards home.

"Bye-bye Aniki!" The little fox exclaimed, waving as she turned the corner with the nun.

"Shall we?" He asked striding back to the two women.

"A little early for a child of her age is it not?" Asked the yellow eyed girl.

"Tama is pretty energetic for her age, that and she refuses to leave the house without her various animalist accessories. I am Menma, by the way. A pleasure to meet the both of you." He said with a tilt of the head.

"I am Xenovia. It is nice to meet you as well." She answered cordially.

"I'm Irinia Shidou, it's super nice to meet you too, Menma-san." Said the brunette cheerfully.

"So anyone in particular you too are looking for? I may know them."

"A girl by the name of Rias Gremory." Xenovia looked at the face of their guide and saw the dark look cross his features for a millisecond, though it spoke a million words. She actually felt a small chill go down her spine, but no normal person could make a face like that, then again he was wearing an awful lot of black, so he may not be normal.

"The President of the Occult Research Club." He informed, "Hmm...Maybe I should go to school today..."

"You should not be skipping on your education, Menma-san." Lectured Xenovia, frowning up at him.

"Tsk tsk tsk, I know. I know. Truly I am a villain." He moaned dramatically, almost feeling sick at being this close to the crosses around their necks. Either that or once more having to act pleasant to random people when he'd much rather be rending flesh, fuck he'd even settle for making a few more spells.

"If you pray for strength you can overcome your sloth." Said Irinia, getting ready to do just that on his behalf.

"I'd rather you didn't. I'm an atheist." He said easily, as a human that was true. Now he wasn't even fuckin' bothered by the idea of some creator, he had more important shit to deal with every fuckin' day.

"Y-you what!?" Squawked Irinia, "Oh Lord forgive this heretic for his blasphemous behavior." She prayed, Menma felt the beginning of the 'Ice-pick to the brain' pain he'd come to know from the big G, or whatever felt the need to inflict pain upon him.

"I just never bought into it. Tends to happen when you've got more important things on your mind." He said with a shrug, this made the girl gasp in horror.

"There is _nothing_ more important than the love of the lord!" She exclaimed pointing at him. Xenovia almost sighed, this was a continuous thing whenever they would run into one of these people, whilst the Excalibur wielder was a devout weapon of the church, she at least tolerated peoples right to believe or not...Irinia not so much.

"Living. For one." He said, raising a finger. "Then there's money, to buy food and necessities, to continue living. One big ol' circle of stuff I need to do _now_ instead of worrying if some invisible being in the sky likes me or not. Religion in general has never been apart of my life, so it's not like I'm _just_ rejecting your god. I reject them all. See, equal opportunity dislike all-round."

Xenovia facepalmed while Irinia looked about ready to cut him open.

"Oh look, we're here." He said cutting off any reply, gesturing to the school. "C'mon we're almost there." Tucking his hands into his pockets he made way to the Occult research club. Lifting his leg he kicked in the door and enjoyed the powerful _woosh_ sound the came with it. "Never gets old." He said with a chuckle, walking in.

Koneko and Issei were sitting near the coffee table, one on each couch. Kiba was nowhere in sight. Akeno just came out with a trio of tea-cups, he could sense a final presence, no doubt Rias, in the building but could not see them.

"Oh, Menma-san. What are you...? Who are they?" Asked Issei, only to feel a kick to his shin curtesy of the small white haired girl, "Ow! Koneko what was that for!"

"They're from the Church, dumbass." She insulted quietly. "Why did you bring them here, Senpai?" Asked the girl, curiously.

"They asked to see, Rias. I was coming this way anyway." He supplied easily.

"You too are a Devil, Menma-san?" Asked Xenovia, annoyed that she couldn't even tell if that was the case. He appeared to be human on the surface, then again the deception of the Devils was all too common.

"Aye, I am not of this Peerage though." He smiled at the girl who turned away with a grunt.

"If you are a Devil how can you be an atheist!?" Demanded Irinia.

"Because I have free will and thus choose to not to believe." Said the Uzumaki with a shrug, yawning lazily. "'Sides a bunch of books written by some old fucks in the desert isn't my kind of proof. I'm a kind of 'seeing is believing' kinda guy. Anyway, Is Rias here?" Asked Menma.

"She is." Said Akeno, looking at him with sharp eyes, "But why would a beast like you wish to see her?" She said spitefully, though masked it well behind a veil of false sweetness.

"I don't." He shot back with venom, "These two do, and I said I would bring them here. I'm nothing if not a man of my word, when it suits me." He turned on his heel and face the two sword weilders, "It's been a pleasure." To add extra chaos he took Xenovia's hand and kissed her hand in a flash of movement, the sheer shock at such an action was more than worth the amount of anger that was churning in her at the moment. Nothing like stirring up the massses.

"Have a nice day, and Issei do come see me when you are free." The thumbs up from the Dragon was his signal to leave.

"I have to bathe my hand in holy water..." Murmured Xenovia looking at the place he'd kissed her hand with disgust.

**Later**

Menma was sitting in the trees, Gin had managed to find him so he was once more hanging upside down with him, "Look at the ass on the blue haired one. Delicious."

"I can agree with that. Though the twin-tails are good on the brunette, gotta hold onto something when you're pounding that pussy." Said the monkey man with a straight face.

"Gin I do believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship." Said Menma without looking away from Xenovia's toned butt. As she and her partner dueled with Kiba and Issei.

"Miracles have happened before I suppose."

"No a miracle would be me getting inside that battle-suit." He let out a low purr as she parried a strike and had to twist in just the best way. "Holy hell that is just pure beauty. Alright, imma go be involved."

"Have fun." Said Gin waving him off as the Devil leapt from the trees and his wings shot out, gliding down and landing without a sound.

"Menma-san?" Came Issei's voice, Irinia turned immediately, whilst the pair of swordsmen across the field did so mid-sword lock.

"Having some fun without me? I'm offended really, the only thing I've fought recently were a pack of Fallen. Tsk tsk tsk." He shook his head and sighed, with a click the Uzumaki opened a red vortext next to his right hand, reaching in he pulled out a large blade, it had a hand and a half grip and a wide blade that was decorated in intricate white-gold coloured markings, the blade stood up to his shoulder from tip to pommel.

"Ludwig's Holy Blade, courtesy of Bloodbourne. It's my first attempt at creating a solid weapon from my own magic, so do treat me kindly." He shouldered the blade and smiled at the shocked looks on the faces of the two church executioners.

"A holy blade!? How are you able to use it, Devil!?" Demanded Xenovia.

"That's the name of it beautiful, I didn't name it." He explained with s shrug, "'Sides it's a construct of magic, it's not a real holy weapon, then again 'Holy' is a pretty subjective thing, but let's not get into that. Twin-tails, back off the dragon and **fight me!**" He ordered, his eyes burning red as he leapt forward and slammed the blade towards her, Irinia moved out of the way and attempted a strike to his back, the Uzumaki slid down and swept her legs out from under her.

Menma came upright and kicked her away, making the girl skid and roll along the ground. He looked at the weapon she let go with a curious gaze, "Don't touch it, Menma-san! It'll hurt you." Warned Issei, Menma hummed so kicked the blade towards the girl, it spun in the air like a bladed windmill and staked in the ground next to her head.

Sensing imminent danger, he brought up his weapon and used the flat of the blade to stop the attack of Xenovia, "Oh, hello there. Is there a reason you abandoned your duel to strike me?" He asked politely, a smile on his face, her glare was ice-melting.

"You think you can just attack my partner and I won't tear you apart?" She questioned darkly.

"Well Issei seemed to be out of commission, and I was looking for a fight anyway. So I figured I'd step in. But hey, thanks for helping me test Ludwig out, it's holding up pretty well against your sword." He smile turned into a grin as he kicked her square in the stomach and sent her flying back towards the crater she'd made earlier, Kiba standing at the edge of it.

"You have no idea how long it took me to make this thing." He informed a bewildered Issei who looked at the sword warily, "Maybe I should try a gun next...?" He thought, looking closely at the weapon he'd made. Easily parrying the strike Irinia had made at him, leaving her wide open, he kicked her in the chest making her flip backwards several times before face-planting into a tree.

Firmly grasping the blade with both hands he felt the muscles in his arms almost coo with delight at the weight of the weapon, "So this is how it feels to be blended with ones magic...Hmm. Perhaps blood magic isn't so bad after all."

"Blood Magic!?" Cried Xenovia, standing up her blade at the ready. "Who's blood did you use to fuel your dark magic's you fiendish Devil!" Snarled the executioner.

Menma looked at her curious for a moment before humming lightly, "My own, some from the Fallen I killed, some my Grandfather offered to help me trial the ritual, the trick was to convent the holy energy bound in the blood of the Fallen-" He blade crashed into his own making him pause.

"You dare use Holy Blood, no matter how fallen it is, to create this abomination!" Snarled the woman, Menma smirked at her, showing his slowly sharpening teeth.

"Oh yes indeed. Though I would hardly call Ludwig an abomination, besides it was just a little blood, maybe a bottle cap full. Has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you're angry?" He added absently, the girl merely baseball bat swung her sword and sent him back several feet, Menma twisted in the air and landed on a tree in a crouch to let out the tension from the shock of that would no doubt be running in his legs.

"Well I think someone is over reacting a little strongly." He slid off the tree and staked his sword into the ground, leaning on it, "So Kiba, how's the Excalibur vengeance coming along?" He asked, 'kindly'.

"Shut your mouth, Scum." Snarled the Knight.

"Now that's just rude. You're being a rude dude, Kiba. Were did all this hostility come from? It's not like you were locked in a little church, no doubt having several clerics do dirty things to you so you could grip the holy shaft a little better." The roar of rage that came from the boy was beautiful, he summoned several blades and leapt at Menma, closing the gap in a flash.

It seemed eavesdropping paid off.

Now, as he could not see how fast Kiba was moving, Menma had to rely on his reflexes and senses to combat the Knight, raising Ludwig he bat away the first strike and copped another in the forearm, coating his arm in magic he blast the Knight back and into the air, Kiba groaned as the blast struck him and tried to right himself in the air only for a hand to close around his throat, he opened his eyes to see the mad red gleam in his opponents eyes, Menma spun like a top and ended by tossing the Knight into the ground.

Landing with and forming a crater from the strike Kiba felt like his bones had turned to jelly, Menma's sword landed in the ground next to the bluenette and the Uzumaki landed on the guard, his wings gently flapping to keep his balance.

"Well that was a sufficient test of your abilities, apologies if someone happens to bit a bit beat up, I'm not a particularly gentle person." Ludwig was sucked into the red vortex causing to Menma slowly descend towards the ground once more, he looked to the Excalibur wielder next to him and stared into her eyes intently. "Care to go to lunch?" He offered with a chuckle, making the girl shoot him a blank look. "Well I'm hungry and felt like offering, fuck don't mind me then." He said with a dramatic huff.

He'd had enough fun for today anyway, if he had to keep up this illusion of eccentric fool he'd just have to kill himself.

**Home**

"Aniki! Look who came over!" Came the loud and happy voice of the kitsune, grabbing his hand the second he came in to the house, she dragged him into the lounge room, "She's really pretty, and she wears a really nice dress, and she has really nice hair." Babbled the young girl.

"Oh I wonder who it could be..." He drawled sarcastically, turning into the lounge room with Tama to see Serafall drinking tea with Anna, he wasn't aware he even had tea in the house. Asia quickly rushed over to him.

"Menma-san what happened, Gin-san told me about your battle with the girls from this morning. Are you ok? Did anyone get hurt?" She quickly shot off, "Are they here for us!?" He quickly put his hands on her shoulders and stared her dead in the eye.

"Asia." He started, "Settle your breasts." She looked confused, "Calm your tits, darlin'. I just wanted to see how they fought, one is really slow, the other is really straightforward and blunt so it wont be hard to dance circles around them. And finally, no they aren't after you. Apparently a bunch of Fallen have moved into the town once again and brought 3 Excalibur's with them, hmm...Anyway they came looking for Rias and wanted to basically get her lot to back the fuck off, so you're still safe my wittle nun." He cooed hugging her close and peppering her cheeks with kisses.

"There are you sufficiently calmed?" He asked putting her at arms length, the Nun was cherry red but nodded, sitting down as steam rose from her ears, "'Sup Sera?" He asked, sitting in the chair next to the couch and crossing one leg over the other.

"Well I just wanted to inform you that I decided on your test to Rank Up." She said with a smile. At Menma's curious gaze she continued, "All you have to do, is be super nice and help those girls beat up those meanie fallen who took the swords."

"Can I steal the swords while I'm at it?" He asked with a grin.

"No." She said, making an X with her arms.

"But if we let the church have them back all it does is make them stronger, if some great conflict comes wouldn't it be better if three out of 7 ultimate weapons were taken away from them?" He countered, with what he saw as reasonable.

"I am in charge of foreign relations, Ma-chan. I can't have my Rook going around stirring up trouble by stealing from one of the other factions."

"What if I made it look like an accident, that one of them was destroyed and just snatch the fucker?"

"Nope." She said with a shake of her head. Menma sighed. "Look, Ma-chan. It's the difference between another war or not. Small triggers like taking a sword can be fuel to a dimming flame, we're _really_ close to peace between us the other factions. We _don't_ want to start an incident like this right now."

"Peace? Riiiight. I'm sure all the fallen I've killed recently would have something to say about getting into bed with the Devil race." He informed flippantly, she was in his face in a moment, starring unflinchingly into his eyes.

"Why did you kill them?" She questioned quietly, coldly. Not at all the same way he'd grown accustomed to.

"Because one tried to kill Asia, who actually killed me, so that was mostly vengeance not to downplay how much I like you Asia." He quickly added, the girl was still pretty out of it thankfully, so she didn't hear him admit that, he almost bit his tongue.

"I knew you still wanted friends, ya big softie." Said Madara's voice.

"Shut the fuck up, Jii-san!" He snapped, smacking the wall the voice came behind.

"Menma, focus." Snapped Serafall, Menma had to do a double take, she'd never bothered with his whole name before, he was honestly a little shocked, "And the second bunch were because they were aligned the her, they came after me I just ended the relationship there. Swear to hell."

"Promise?" She asked, leering closer and narrowing her eyes.

"What? Why would I lie to you?" He did have a point, from his perspective anyway, he didn't have any real reason to lie to Serafall, she'd been a pretty fuckin' awesome boss so far. That and he could, begrudgingly admit he liked having her around. Ya know and she fucked like a wild animal. All good reasons _not_ to lie to her from his point of view.

"Alright then. Thank you for telling me this ahead of time, Ma-chan. It would have sucked if it came up out of the blue." She said happily, reverting to her usual self. Menma was once again thrown for a loop, "Anyway, be a good boy and help those girls get those swords back." She kissed him sweetly on the lips before disappearing in a blue circle of magic.

"I don't think I should mess with her..." He said quietly.

"Duh, strong as you are you're no Satan yet kid." Said Madara, walking into the room. "That's a good point. Let's go make you stronger. C'mon it'll be fun. Just two days away for now, then we'll see what's up when we get back." Without waiting for his Grandson to respond the Uchiha began dragging the boy out of his chair and out the door.

"Oi, oi! Wait for a second motherfucker!" He snarled only to go slack as Madara smacked the back of his head hard enough to knock him out.

"Now now, Menma. Jii-sama is just going to hurt you so you get stronger." Tama looked to Anna who shrugged and then to Asia who was slowly coming down from her high.

"Onee-sama, should we go help, Aniki?" Asked the little fox.

"Huh..? Menma-san needs help?" Asked the Nun, snapping out of it.

"Yeah, Jii-chan hit his head and made him go to sleep. Then said he was going to hurt him to make him stronger, should we go help Jii-chan to make Aniki stronger?" Anna sweatdrop, clearly she did not think that was how the little girl was going to go with that scentence.

"Wha? We have to help Menma-san!" Said the Nun with fervor, getting up and rushing after the pair, Tama at her heel.

"Gin." Called Anna, the monkey man stuck his head in the doorway, "Watch the house. I'm going to make sure those four don't get themselves killed." He nodded and went back down the hall.

Anna sighed and stood up, following after the group that drew chaos at the drop of a hat.

**End.**

**Lil shorter, like 500 words so not much, than usual. Anyway hope you enjoyed. Storyline wise there is about 2 more days until the dickhead patrol tracks down the churchies to go after Freed, then again he's dead so oooh what's gonna happen!? Such mystery!**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**To all those who don't know what the armour looks like, I suggest you quickly google G-Rank Zinogre from Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate. It's almost fucking impossible for me to describe it, so I only do so loosely in the story. I apologize ahead of time but when it comes to most armour from Monster Hunter it's hard to describe it at all.**

"My body...Is not ready for this..." Muttered Menma, face down on the ground as his grandfather nudged him with his foot, the teen was clad on only a pair of loose shorts, prime 'Get your ass kicked' clothing.

"Up and at 'em bitch boy." Ordered Madara, cracking his knuckles, "Or I can kick you again..." He'd never seen his grandson move so fast as he did that moment.

"Go Aniki!" Cheered Tama as she, Asia and Anna sat around the shelter they'd built for the two days out here in the thick of the forest, it was pretty good all things considered, though the serpent woman was not a fan of how cold it got and night and used the hot blooded, literally in this case, Devil as her heat source.

Menma sighed and summoned up his magic, his hands were covered dark blue plates of armour, with four short yet sharp as fuck looking claws on his knuckles, one on each, these were black as a moonless sky and somehow still managed to glow, if that makes sense. "Alright! See was it so hard?" Asked Madara casually.

"What I'm doing right now is essentially creating a sacred gear with my own magic, do you have any fucking idea how tired I am right now? Armour is not easy to make you know!?" Roared Menma, the armour he was working on was made from his own blood, like his sword but not a sword...Anyway, the reason it was 'like creating a Sacred Gear' is because he was using the 'Limit Breaker' gear he got from the little girl a while ago as a base for the armour, otherwise he'd just have to re-imagine it every fucking time he wanted to use it, and that wasn't something you could do in the middle of combat.

"Got enough energy to yell though. Come on, push out more, use the gear for its purpose!" Ordered Madara, Menma wanted to cry his veins were on fire, his body had never expelled this much magic before, biting into his lip he waited a moment for a fresh flow of blood to start.

"_**Limit Breaker!**_" Roared the Uzumaki, his eyes shining a powerful azure blue, sclera and all, as his power was tripled, he funneled the extra power _back_ into the gear to create more armour, arm and shoulder guards were slowly forming from the blood on his lip, the magic using it as a catalyst for the oceanic plates of armour. The look he was going for was essentially the G-Rank Zinogre armour from Monster Hunter but dark blue with black accents instead of green and white. The shoulder guards began to take shape, the mantle of the Zinogre forming, Menma fell to his knees coughing up his own blood, the Limit Breaker falling away, his eyes bloodshot and his iris' having small blue specks in them.

"Well done, kid." Said Madara, a smirk on his face. Asia was on Menma in a second, using her Twilight Healing to repair the internal damage done as quickly as possible.

"...D-...Disperse..." Ordered the teen h the teen hoarsely, the armour turned into magic and flew into the centre of his chest, leaving only a sweating, pale torso. That was one good thing, the Limit Breaker could end but the armour would persist until he dismissed it.

"Well done, Menma-san." Said Asia, smiling as sweetly as ever, Menma merely gave a small 'Woohoo' before falling face first onto the ground once again.

"Aniki is really sleepy today." Said Tama, trotting up and sitting on the ground next to the Devil, patting his head as Asia turned him over so he wasn't on his face, "Aww, Aniki is so cute when he's asleep." Cooed the little girl, on reflex Menma's hand rose up and flicked her in the forehead for daring to say something to filthy, unconscious or not he didn't take complements of such nature well.

"Ow." Moaned the little girl, tiny tears in her big blue eyes.

"Oh munchkin, you Aniki is just showing his love through pain. That's how I do it and look how well he turned out." Tama and Asia exchanged a glance at that while an amused snort came from Hebi-onna, Madara turned to her, smile still affixed on his face. "Do you have a comment, Anna-chan?" He asked icily.

"Uh...No, Madara-sama, nothing to comment at all." She said, ice flooding her veins as he looked at her.

"Damn straight." Grunted the ancient man.

A chocked gasp came from the Uzumaki as he was suddenly uprighty, coughing loudly and panting, "Oh good you're up. Time to try again. This time go for the helmet, it's smaller so it'll be easier." Advised Madara, placing his hand against his grandson's back, giving the boy a small chunk of his own Magic to refresh him, Menma sighed as he felt the pain in his body numb.

"Give me...A second..." He panted out the Uchiha nodded, as he stood up pat the boys head.

"Are you alright, Menma-san?" Asked Asia, her palm pressed against his chest, glowing a brilliant emerald.

"Yeah...Sucking blood through the pours of my skin to make armour isn't as fun as I thought it'd be." He sighed, his hand gently pushing hers away, shakily he got to his feet. Stretching out, the sound of several cracks resounding.

"Alright, same as last time. Activate the Gear and force your power into it while using the Gear's power to make the armour." Said Madara, whilst both he and Menma knew what was being done, it never hurt to put the information fresh in the performers mind when it came to something as critical as this.

"Mhm..." Grunted the younger male, the ground cracked under him as he flooded his system with _all_ of his magical energy, "_**Limit Breaker!**_" The explosive force of the burst made the canopy of the tree's above them explode open, a faux visage of the Zingore covered Menma's head, its wolf-like snarl and pointed, angular ears made an intimidating sight indeed.

The top half of the chest piece formed at about his shoulders and down to his ribcage his stomach and hips were still exposed though, the Limit Breaker ended and he fell on his ass, "Is this all you have, Menma? I'm disappointed, really I had so much faith in you." Madara decided to break out the psychological warfare, if nothing else it would push his Grandson over the edge. He knew how short the boys temper was, and how dangerous it was when he got angry.

"It's not surprising my daughter left you behind, she always was a smart girl. I wish she didn't leave it up to me to look after your useless self though." The twitching of his Grandson's hand as they dug into the dirt made him smirk.

"Oh? Do you have something to say about that, Menma?" He questioned smugly, Menma rose to his feet and snarled lowly.

"Don't. You. Talk. About them. To **ME!**" He bellowed, roaring like a raging beast, "**Limit Breaker: Zingore!**" He roared, sucking in the magic that was in the air itself as well as using what was left in his drained reserves and blood. The armour formed rapidly now, covering his stomach, rising from his feet to his waist, as that formed the flauds fell from his waist and covered the back of his legs like a short tail-cape, it was reminiscent of the Zingore's tail though instead of being somewhat square like the beasts tail it ended in a point. Menma flexed and relaxed his hands as his glowing blue eyes shifted to his grandfather, he pointed at the man.

"I'm going to kill you now." Madara grinned as his grandson shot at him like a rocked and suicide kicked him with such force the man was tossed for roughly a kilometer through the forest. Menma picked himself up and ran forward, his body crackling with azure bolts of electricity, the ground buckled under his touch and a great scar was carved into the land as he moved.

"Jii-chan is mean." Pouted the kitsune, Anna smacked her forehead while Asia looked pale at the chaos her friend had caused.

"**Die. Die. Die-Die-Die-Die!**" Roared the beast, slamming his fist into the old mans ribs and knocking him into the air, crouching and leaping in a mere moment he clotheslined the Uchiha in the air, his wings bursting out as he continued his aerial climb, Menma's body was constantly pulsing with more and more electricity, shocking the everloving shit out of Madara who just kept up his smirk.

The old man twisted his weight and unhooked himself from the boys grip, grabbing his arm and spinning downward, throwing his grandson into the nearby mountain path making it shudder under the shock of the blow.

Madara landed on a tree branch like a feather and crossed his arms, staring at the smoking crater that his kid was in. The crazed blue eyes cut through the dust like a knife, Menma's power fluctuated again making the man raise a brow, "_**Thunderstorm!**_" Storm clouds rapidly rolled in, lightning began arcing in the sky.

"Oh...Now that is clever." Admired Madara, summoning a storm to generate _real_ lightning to juice himself up, now to see if it will actually work the way he wants it to, or he gets fucking fried.

A single streaking bolt shot down and struck his grandson directly, Menma's howling roar created a shockwave that rippled across the tree tops, birds were fucking scared and got the hell out, small children cried out, other things happened...Probably, somewhere.

His arms lit up with electrical power as the beast-teen shot into the forest directly towards Madara, in all honesty the Uchiha was pretty bloody impressed, he actually lost sight of him for a second with how fast he was going. Menma appeared before the Uchiha in a flicker of movement and kneed him in the chin, launching him into the air once more. Landing where his grandfather occupied a moment ago Menma leapt once more, the branch snapping under the pressure.

Slamming one lightning ignited first into the mans chest Madara was sent furthur skyward, wings out once more Menma followed after in a flash, another fist another explosive strike of electrical power forced the old man towards the ground, Menma was struck with another bolt of lightning, his roar was deafening, he descended in a corkscrew motion

"_**Strike!**_" Howled the teen crashing into the old mans still form, the resulting pillar of explosive energy stuck out like a great azure beacon, people in the city were terrified of what it could be, the Devils of the city were struck with fear at the pure rage and hate resonating from the energy, the two Church exorcists had ice in their veins at the level of power that it held.

As the smoke cleared Madara appeared unharmed, his body encased in a ethereal purple ribcage, he looked at his grandson and smiled as the boys armour fell away, and returned to his body his eyes were so bloodshot they were basically red and his skin was deathly pale.

"But you did it. Good job, Menma." Praised the Uchiha with a smile, grabbing the boy and slinging him over his shoulder, returning to camp. "I think that's more than enough training, and it only took a day and a half, that's my grandson for ya, pushing his limits in whatever he does."

**Home, Nighttime.**

"Welcome back~." Drawled Gina lazily, flopped out on the couch as his tail wiggled around, acting as a waving hand. "Oi...What happened to him?" Asked the monkey with a curiously risen brow.

"Aniki made a storm, then he got struck by lightning and _then_ he got reeeeally strong and really fast and then he punched Jii-chan so hard he broke the ground, but Jii-chan was ok because he made this purple bone-dress!" Shot off Tama, stars in her eyes, Madara chuckled and pat her head, walking into Menma's room and dumping him on the bed.

Asia decided it best to stay at Menma's side for the moment. He stirred and shifted, but didn't wake for several hours, she was content to watch over him though, he looked so peaceful like this, Asia leaned forward and moved a few strands of hair out of his eyes but didn't expect him to grab her and pulled her close, yawning and muttering unintelligibly as he did so. Asia was quite red-faced at the closeness.

"_Menma-san..? Does this mean..? Do you...Like me, like that?_" Thought the nun, her green eyes looking up to his closed lids, the Devil sighed softly and took a breath through his nose.

"Mm, you smell nice Asia." He commented sleepily, one of his eyes cracked open, her own widened at the horrible redness within, "Do me a favour, just let me do this for a bit, 'Kay?" He requested softly, Asia nodded quickly slipping her arms around his back.

"Anything for you, Menma-san." She swore quietly.

His single open eye seemed to shine a little at that, "Heh, you're too good to me, Asia-chan." A cocktail of pain, overload and exhaustion made him say such stupidly sentimental things, but fuck it, he felt the need to let his hair down and at the very least tell someone what they meant to him. "I'm glad you're in my life, Asia. It means a lot to me that you stick around." The blonde girl's eyes widened in shock as he continued, "I'm not that good with words and shit but uh...I appreciate you, Asia."

"_No ones ever said something like that to me before!_" The Nun was positively glittering at his words, little tears welled up in her eyes, "Menma-san!" She cried out, wailing into his chest and hugging him tightly.

"O-Oi!" He snapped, "My chest really hurts, go easy on me. Fuck." He scolded quietly.

"You're the closest thing to family I've ever had, Menma-san! Not even the Church made me feel as happy as you do! I'm so glad I met you, I love you Menma-san, you are my family!" She declared, Menma.

"OI!" He roared out, making her stop her affectionate hugging, "Not now, Asia! I just said I'm in pain I don't need you adding to it!" He snarled, his black eyes gaining a ring of bright, bloody red around the pupil, though the rest of his eyes were still horrible bloodshot as well, so that could very well be a popped blood vessel.

"...S-sorry..." She Whimpered, she heard him growl lowly.

"Just...Use your head." He said lowly before shutting his eyes.

"Oho? I heard yelling, are you two ok?" Came Madara's voice from the doorway.

"We're fine, Madara-sama. Menma-san is just...Delicate at the moment." Quickly explained the Nun.

"Hn. Honey he's always delicate." Informed Madara with a smirk, closing the door as he left the room once more.

"That...Old bastard." Grunted the Uzumaki, his voice slightly strained, "I'm going back to sleep." He said, though the buzzing of his phone gave him pause, "...Asia, can you get that for me?" He asked, she was off in a flash.

"Hello, Menma-san's phone...Oh, Koneko-chan? What do you mean exorcists? A whole cell?!" Menma's eyes widened at the implications, gritting his teeth he slowly rose, "Menma-san can't come he's seriously wounded-Eh!? Menma-san get back in bed!"

Menma plucked the phone from the girl, "Koneko...What's wrong?"

"_Senpai, there are a group of exorcists, we thought we could take them, but it's going south pretty fast...I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't serious, but the two Excalibur wielders from today are taking their sweet time, and Hentai-san seems to be running on fumes._" Said the girl, she was slightly out of breath.

"...Where are you?"

"Menma-san you can't go!" Asia tried to dissuade him from doing this but from the look in the wrecked eyes of his, he was having none of it.

"_At the abandoned complex west of main street, do you know it?_" Asked the Neko girl.

"Yeah. I'll be there." He closed his phone and ended the call, "Jii-san, get your ass in here!" Bellowed the Rook, sitting on the end of his bed as Asia fussed over him.

"Oh? Out of bed so soon? Is that really a good idea in your state?"

"I need a hit of magic, Asia heal me quickly." She hesitated but he bared his teeth, "Now isn't the time for hesitation, the few people I can stand could die and I'll be a fucking corpse before I let my own selfishness slip through my fingers. Now heal me!" Asia's hand shone with a green light as Madara placed a hand on his grandson's chest, with a slight 'umph' Menma felt the pain in his body subside greatly. All he needed was a few minutes under Asia's care and he'd be fine.

"Gin, Anna get in here." He ordered, his voice much stronger and steadier than before, the Monkey man and the snake woman stuck their heads in, "Get ready for a battle. You two are going to be my back-up."

"We're playing backup to someone who can change the weather on a whim, and change the landscape when he's angry. Wonderful." Sighed out Gin, scratching his head as the Hebi-onna nodded along.

Menma's glare could melt Pluto it was so fierce, "Ah...Right, no problem. We'll be ready to leave when you are."

"So, off to save your friends, Menma? That's quite something from you."

"They aren't my friends, Issei is a back-up Gear if this one fucks up and I want to fuck Koneko. Don't you dare think I've gone soft because of those two. Anyone in the house, I can deal with that. But not them. Not while they're under that _cunts_ thumb." Madara made an 'Oh' face as it all made sense now.

"Very well, Menma. Good luck rescuing your not friends." Menma stood he was still clad in only his shorts but didn't seem to care, he turned and nodded in thanks to Asia before leaving the room.

"His eyes are still damaged, I don't know how he can even see straight right now." Admitted Madara.

"Why _are_ his eyes so damaged, Madara-sama?" Asked the Nun wearily.

"That blue glow around them from earlier, it was the power of the Limit Breaker trying to go through its natural path, it boosts not only power but things like reflexes and senses, it breaks limits in a literal sense. He didn't have a mind to redirect the flow of magic from his eyes to the rest of his body from the looks of it. His vision should be shot until he goes into his armour." Madara's own eyes narrowed in suspicion. "So how can he see so well I wonder?"

"Maybe Menma-san is just lucky this time?" Offered Asia, Madara chuckled.

"That's definitely a possibility, Asia-chan."

**Abandoned Complex**

Menma, Gin and Anna arrived through a portal and were given sight to Issei being thrown across the pavement and into a broken-down fountain, the boy struggled to rise until he saw a the beautiful sight to his battered form right now, the angry, rage filled visage of his Senpai.

"_Oh, I can sleep now...That's good._" Issei's eyes rolled back, the voice of Ddraig going ignored as he fell into oblivion.

"Senpai..." Whispered Koneko, seeing his stormy face, along with two others. A small smile worked its way onto her pale face, "Thank you for coming." She said, her legs buckling only to feel a pair of strong arms catch her, she saw a silver eyed monkey man grab her and seemingly flicker next to Issei, leaving her with a head pat and rejoining his leader.

"Exorcists!" Boomed the Uzumaki, drawing the attention off Kiba and towards himself. "I am Menma motherfucking Uzumaki, and this is my rage! **Limit Breaker: Zingore!**" His armour formed as his power exploded around his body, his eyesight seemed to clear up and he could get a proper count on their numbers, roughly 17, all of them in robes bearing crosses, one at the front weilding a sword that looked to be made up of other, curved blades he knew roughly that this sword was an Excalibur, the name Rapid came to mind, it definitely had something to do with speed.

"Gin, Anna I need you to catch any stragglers or those that try to make a move against those two." The two Yokai gave a quiet affirmative as Menma streaked forward in a burst of lightning his arms flaring with power as he slammed his fist into the ground near, "**Die!**" He bellowed, his roar augmented by his armour knocking several grunts away as his fist colided with the pavement, the lightning he was charged with exploded outwards, the five it came into contact with made them explode into showers of gore immediately, soaking their comrades in blood.

"Die you filthy Devil!" Snarled the Excalibur wielder, Menma blurred to the side and punched directly into the mans side, only for the sword to bat his hand away, using the momentum Menma spun into a roundhouse kick and slammed his clawed boot into the mans head making him spin and mush against a stone pillar that acted as a support beam.

"Not enough **blood!**" Snarled the Zingore-like teen, he blurred from sight.

"Form up he can get u-erk!" The speaker suddenly spit in half vertically as Menma appeared in the middle of the hasitly made cricle he grabbed one man by the back of the neck and another by the skull he flicked his wrist and used the now snapped-neck man to bludgeon the other man to death.

"I'll use one motherfucker to kill another motherfucker!" He screeched, the lightning dancing around his body, making several high pitched screaming noises as it clashed against itself.

"R-run!" Screamed one woman, Menma's glowing blue gaze shifted to her and he immediately shot forth, running on all fours and cutting her right through the stomach with a leaping dive her top half to clatter against the ground with a sickeningly wet thud.

"Blood Spears." Menma spread his magic out into the woman's corpse and used her life essence to create several needle thin spears, he made lovely little pincushions out of the remaining church grunts. He walked over towards the mushed corpse of the Excalibur wielder and picked up the weapon, it seemed to spark and protest against his touch but he merely gripped it tighter, "You can shut up or I'll crush you into dust." Snarled the beast making the blade cease it's actions, a familiar red vortex opened and sucked it up.

"Wh-what are you doing here..?" Demanded Kiba, barely standing Menma turned so he was half-facing the boy, "Where did you get all this power? Why are you here!?" Shouted the Sword Birth Wielder.

"Shut up, shit-for-brains. We aren't alone anymore." Said the teen, making Kiba blink and turn at the sound of feet, the older boy was right they no longer were alone, the two Excalibur weilders sent by the Church came upon the scene of a blood splattered armoured man, two Yokai looking after the wounded and now the complex doors opening.

Valper Galilei, a portly man with grey frizzled hair the stuck around the sides of his little skullcap, he had small lensed wire framed glasses and a grey mustache, he wore a priests robe but instead of the usual 'Decent human being' some priests Menma had encountered gave off, this man reeked of innocent blood. Then again Menma's own hands were dyed red, but at least he didn't smell of child-death.

"Well you certainly made a mess out here didn't you young man?" Asked the priest amusedly, the two church weapons gasped, and Kiba looked positively murderous.

"Valper Galilei!?" Came the shocked exclamations and bloody battle cry.

"Down." Ordered Menma, tripping the blond boy before standing on his back. Kiba squirmed under Menma's boot but a swift kick to the back of the head made him go limp, reaching down and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck Menma tossed the boy to Gin who caught him easily.

"You." Said Menma, "Who are you and why aren't you dead yet?"

The priest seemed to sweatdrop, "Did you not hear these young women say my name, young man?" Though he flinched when he felt a cut open on his cheek, the outstretched finger of the armoured beast-man menacingly charged with a _Laser_ spell.

"Question one, solved. Question two is about to get a whole lot simpler."

"Wait, you can't kill him yet, we need to know where the Excalibur pieces are!" Shouted Xenovia running up to Menma side and attempting to redirect his attention.

"Oh? The Fused Excalibur is in that young mans possesion as of now. He took the blade from the corpse of my latest weapon...I'd be very grateful if you could return it to me, getting those three pieces to work together like we did is no easy task. It took, Rapidly, Nightmare and Transparency into one was no easy task." Informed Valper, amusement in his voice.

"You have the sword?" Demanded Xenovia.

"If you shut up, I'll give it you after I kill him." Menma blurred out of existence and appeared behind the priest, "You talk to much." He said apathetically and tore out his spine and with it, his skull, holding the head in his hands up to the skies. Releasing one final victorious roar, "_**Blood and Death!**_" He screamed out, before laughing hysterically, like a man who'd lost his mind, like a beast.

"Disperse." Ordered Menma, the armour falling away, his hand and feet being dyed red with the blood from the corpse he'd just made. His vision swam as he swayed in place, dropping the spine and skull combo on the ground and he cluched his face.

Anna rushed over to him and allowed him to lean on her, "Keep your eyes closed...They're damaged. I'll guide you home, Master." She swore, Menma merely nodded quietly. She turned to the two church weapons and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Follow along if you want your weapons." Xenovia grit her teeth at the position they were forced in to. While Irinia almost pulled out her hair at not being able to just 'Banish the evil' that had caused more than enough trouble.

"Why can't we just kill him and take the sword back?" Whispered Irinia harshly, Xenovia bat her on the head with her wrapped weapon.

"Don't be stupid, he doesn't have the weapon on him so that means he's stored it somehow. We won't get it back if he's dead." Snapped the bluenette.

"Gin, grab those fleshbags, we'll save ourselves an earful later and just take them home with us." The monkey man nodded and loaded up. "Come one grunts, I'm fucking exhausted." He ordered the two battle-suit clad women and followed Anna's guiding form.

**End of Chapter.**

**Little bit of sentimentality, then again I don't think anyone's got a problem with it, eh? A little bit of fluffy-squishy shit never hurt anyone, and its Easter so eat a dick.**

**3**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Welcome back darlings.**

**The Alien Lizard King: Well there is something similar.**

**Silver Crow: That's a pretty sound plan, but like I've said before, I can't promise I'll write it.**

**Start.**

"Oi...Do I really need to wear a blindfold?" Asked Menma, sitting on the couch with crossed legs, Miyo and the cerberus, in puppy form, nestled on his lap. The Uzumaki was idly fiddling with the bandages across his eyes.

"If they're exposed to much more you'll end up going blind." Warned Madara, "Once again, you didn't redirect the magic from your eyes and it went stagnant, it it reactivates you'll put more strain on your eyes and go blind. Give it a day or so and you'll be set." Advised the old man, drinking from a juice-box. He had a stopwatch around his neck counting down from 24 hours, it was midday now so it wasn't like he had to deal with much grief.

Menma sighed he could still feel the eyes of the two Excalibur women on him and was about to draw out the fused weapon until once more his old man chimed in, "And no general magic either. It'll make it active again, which would make the magic attempt to leave the back of your head and enter your eyes again. Blind." Repeated the old man, Menma growled.

"So what, we have to wait a day until he can draw out the weapon?" Grouched Irinia, Xenovia accepting a drink from the small fox-girl, she looked at the cold can curiously, it was black with the exception of a red, white and blue circle. Along with big red text saying 'MAX'.

"Try this, Aneki! It's Aniki's favourite drink." Xenovia looked at the can suspiciously the little girl smiled brightly at her before putting one into Menma's hands as well. He smiled lightly and vaguely pawed at the air where he thought she was, Tama took his hand on put it on her head.

"Thanks, Tama. You're a treasure." He praised, making her eyes sparkle. The cracked open the can with a his index finger and took a hearty gulp.

"Oh Pepsi-kun, you're the only man I'll ever need." He cooed to the can, laughing to himself afterwards.

"Eh...?" Was all the bluenette gave in response to such strange behavior.

"It's good, trust me." Said the blindfolded male, smiling slightly. Raising his can to her. "Cheers?" He goaded with a silly smile.

Xenovia opened her can and took a large gulp, diving into the deep end as it were, and immediately regretted it, not due to taste. It was quite nice, because of the burning sensation that came with the bubbles in her throat.

"Don't take big gulps." Advised the Uzumaki amusedly, even though his eyes were covered Xenovia could feel his mirthful stare. His face was set into a toothy grin, displaying his newly enlarged canines.

"I'm going to go check on the others." Said Asia, standing up and leaving the room, feeling the dagger-like gaze of Irinia and Xenovia as she spoke.

"Oi." Started the black haired man, making them turn their heads, "I don't care what you think she used to be, she my family now. So if you got beef with her, you and I are gonna have a problem. Blinded or not I will break you." He warned, even without using his magic his presence was imposing, like a true fly motherfucker.

"Feel free to stay, if you want the sword so badly. I'm going to my room." He said with finality, Tama took his hand and led him down the hall, such a sweetheart that one.

"A plague on that man..." Lowly cursed the twin-tails. "And that witch..."

The pair of church members heard a powerful thump on the wall, apparently he had heard Irinia, who received a blank look from her parnter.

**Later, Nighttime.**

Sona had come over to visit, Kiba, Issei and Koneko were oddly still laid out and unconscious, Asia had healed them, perhaps they just needed rest? It had only been 9 hours since he'd returned from his nightly excursion with them so he wasn't that shocked, he was amazed Issei was even still alive if what his Grandfather had told him about, the boy exhausting the gear's boost power to a point he wasn't ready for yet, was to be believed.

The black haired devil was having his bandages re-wrapped by the gentle fingers of the Sitri, "Honestly, only you..." Muttered the girl, sighing in sufferance. Menma chuckled, keeping his eyes closed as she placed two black-out pads over them, and proceeded to wrap his bandages.

"You love me, you know it." He said breezily, chuckling as she paused for a moment, "I don't blame you, I am pretty great." He joked lightly, Sona smiled and pecked his cheek softly, finishing the wrapping with a small knot.

"Have to keep these on for far to long. Darkness forbid, Jii-san just help me out and move the magic away from my eyes." Grouched the teen. He wasn't exactly fond of stumbling in the dark like he had been all day, though the crisp chill that came with the night was at least pleasant.

"Perhaps he just wants this to be a learning experience, if he fixed all your problems for you, you'd never adapt properly." Suggested Sona, he only sighed pitifully and leaned onto her shoulder like a drama queen.

"But I wanna go fight someone, Sona-hime." He whined, though he could feel the heat rolling off her face as he said that, "Heh, a simple little suffix and the 'Frozen President' is melting like ice in the sun." He grinned and kissed her neck.

"O-oi..." She snapped without rancor, gently batting him away with her hand. "Don't go getting ideas."

"I don't have ideas, your neck was just the easiest place to kiss while I can't see...Heh." He admitted with a small chortle, Sona's pink face didn't go away though as he adjusted his position and sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"On a scale of one to ten, how fucking cute are we right now?" He asked, making her facepalm in seemingly a blink she was standing up next to the bed and gently bopped him on the head with her fist, only a tap at best.

"Baka, don't ruin the moment like that." She scolded, making him laugh uproariously, before taking his hand and leading him out the door, "Dinner." Ordered Sona, dragging the giggling fool down the hall and sitting him down.

He felt a small weight on his legs, "Hm...Either, Tama...Or Koneko..." He took a short smell of the air and smiled, "Ah, Koneko-chan. What can this frail cripple do for you?" He asked, having a bit of fun with his few hours cripple-dom.

Instead of speaking she just hugged him tightly, "Thank you, Senpai." Smirking the Sorcerer pat her head and loosely returned to the gesture.

"Oh! Senpai! Arigatou!" Shouted Issei, as he slid on his hands and knees before Menma's chair, "Without you I would have died, and my dream of being a harem king would die with me! Arigatou!"

"You really are a little slime, aren't you, Issei-kun." He drawled out with sickening sweetness, making the boy sweatdrop, "Get up ya dunce, if you wanna repay me get stronger so I don't have to pull your ass out of the fire again, I need someone to act as a punching bag and Jii-san isn't any good, he's _too_ tough."

"Oho!? What's this is hear with my old ears? 'Jii-san' he says, I do declare my baby boy is making a comeback! Haha! Victory!" Madara struck a ridiculous pose pointing to the sky and kneeling, fireworks seemed to appear behind him out of nowhere.

"Push your luck and it's back to 'Old Flesh Bag' for you." Threatened the Uzumaki ominously making the old man laugh loudly.

"You took my vengeance from me." Spat Kiba's voice, venom dripping from each syllable. Menma turned to the voice only to feel steel cut his cheek, "You robbed me of it, and by doing so, denied it to all those who were tortured and killed by that man, WHY!? Why are you so fucking evil!? Is it so impossible to allow me something so simple as justice!?" Demanded the blond.

"I'm willing to sacrifice my eyesight if it means killing you here and now, Bootlicker." Interrupted Menma, pausing the boys tirade from continuing on, as it looked like he meant to do so, "Remember where you are, _child_. You're in my house, surrounded by _my_ family, _I _saved you and did what your pathetic self could not. If this man was as vile as you say, his death had meaning whether or not it was by your hand, if you don't wish to rob the dead of their justice then shut your fucking mouth. You're the only one who's _angry_ that you're alive. If anything you _owe_ me a life debt. And you can pay it by getting the fuck out of my living room and then out of my house. Allowing you in, in the first place was a mistake I won't repeat again." There was no expression in his voice, no venom or bitterness, if anything he appeared bored, idly playing with a small strand of Koneko's silky silver hair.

Kiba growled and swung, striking the Uzumaki in the cheek though he barely moved beyond a small head turn, the room was deathly still.

"Kiba-senpai, that was uncalled for! Menma-san saved our asses, the fact that you're alive right now is because of him!" Snapped Issei, standing up and pushing the Knight back. Kiba balked at Issei who grabbed his collar, "If your life has so little meaning to you that you'd spit in the face of someone who helped you keep it, what's the point of trying for revenge anyway, huh?! Does your justice mean so little that you can't even accept help to achieve it, that if its done anyway that it looses meaning!? If you never ran into Valper again he would have died anyway because he's human, they'll age while you wont! So what then!?" Screamed Issei.

"Issei." Said Menma, cutting through the shout-match with a deadly calm. "Please allow Yuuto to leave my house without further incident. We're about to have dinner and I'd hate to see it ruined by conflict at the table. And Yuuto, get the fuck out of my house, I won't tell you again." Kiba shoved Issei off and straightened himself out before doing just that, not looking back or hesitating, slamming the door as he did so.

"That was...Something." Said Irinia, while Xenovia just sighed as the deathly aura shrouded Menma, his eye-less stare blanketing the brunette.

"Be. Quiet. At the table." He hissed, making her drain of colour and faint. "Good." Koneko hopped off his lap and took a seat next to him, Menma kicked out one next to the girl and turned in Issei's general direction.

"Issei, please take a seat." When Issei saw that smile he felt like the world had just been thrown upside-down, but did so without a word. Only saying a deeply grateful 'Itadakimasu' when dinner was served, if it wasn't for this crazy bastard, he'd be dead for sure.

"_Arigatou really isn't enough, Senpai._" Thought the Red Dragon with a smile, "_I'll find a way to pay you back_."

"Thank you for the meal, Madara-san, Sona-san. And thank you for allowing us to stay close by, Menma-san." Said Xenovia, Menma allowed a smile out the corner of his mouth as it was currently being stuffed with god-sent food, his old man was a fucking master chef.

"Well it's good to be appreciated." Chimed Madara, smirking at the bandaged face of his kid.

"It's fine." Said Sona, cutting off any unwanted conversation.

**Next Day, School. Occult Research Club.**

"Would have been nice to be in the know about this so-called trip to a random fucking island in the first place." Grumbled the Uzumaki as he and his King stood on just that, some random fucking island that was gloomy as shit. He may still be blind in one eye, for reasons that Jii-san had yet to elaborate on, but even he could see this place was seven flavours of ass.

"Oh come on, Ma-chan! It's gonna be fun! We can get you a cute little familiar and you can be best buddies, oh~! It'll be great!" Giggled the Leviathan, bouncing excitedly, her Rook merely sighed in frustration and itched at his bandaged right eye.

"Bad enough it had to me my right eye, I'm already missing my depth perception."

"Greeeeeetings!" Came the call of a loud male voice, it was a man with short brown hair tied back into a spikey tail, he had well defined cheekbones and a large grin on his face, his skin was tanned but obviously showed off his age, he wore a white singlet and dark blue cargo shorts with a pair of black thongs (Flip-flops) on his feet. A yellow backpack affixed onto his back.

"Ah! Hello Familiar Master Towji! It's good to see you again, I brought my cute little Rook to find his perfect friend." Explained Serafall, Towji leapt from the tree and landed before the pair, looking Menma up and down he hummed lightly.

"Hmm, strong and agile, you want something that packs a powerful punch, or am I wrong?" Asked Towji with a rhyme, looking at the one eyed male who only stared back at him blankly. "Silent I see, well well why don't you and the beautiful lady come with me!"

"This rhyming is going to be a consistent thing isn't it?" Asked the teen turning to the Satan who merely smiled brightly.

"Towji-san loves to rhyme, it's part of his charm."

"Oh _he_ get's a full name but mine gets butchered, right." Said the Uzumaki following after the man, Sera pouted and grabbed his arm, walking next to him.

"Don't be like that, Ma-chan. When I get angry I promise I'll say your full name, kisses?" She asked, making kissy faces at him, he turned his head with a huff making her pout even harder going so far as the trembling bottom lip and all.

"It's not going to work." Said Menma with a deadpan shaking his head.

"Oho? A pair of River Sprites. They're quite tough creatures."

Tough looking roidheads more like, a pair of women that never left the fuckin' gym maybe. He was muscular, these creatures were fucking _ripped_. Both had dainty blonde hair that was done in spiral curls, but they were jacked as all hell and wore pink frilly dresses.

"Uh...I'm more aligned with bestial creatures, no offence ladies." The Sprites merely nodded pounding their chests before diving into the water. "Well they seem to handle rejection well."

"Hmm, beasts huh? Any kind you favour?" Asked Towji, rubbing his chin.

"Reptiles, or anything above the norm really. Not something like a cat or a dog...I already have pets, If I'm getting a familiar I need something to back me up if shit gets hairy."

"Hmm...Could I? No surely not...He may very well die..." Muttered the Familiar Master quietly.

Menma sweatdrop, "_Even when he's thinking he rhymes? Dear Satan help me..._" It was a bitch to come up with replacement words for 'God' when it came to saying stuff like 'Oh My god' or 'god help me', while he wasn't a man of faith by any stretch they were firmly planted in the general vocabulary of anyone he'd ever met.

"Come with me, boy. If you've got the guts to find something that can destroy." Menma wanted to faceplam, he wanted to facepalm so hard he'd highfive his brain, but the guy seemed really serious. So the teen stuck to his side and followed the man down stream as the trio progressed a small weight was made evident on Menma's head, he reached up and touched whatever it was, feeling a soft yet scaly texture on his fingers.

"Uh, what's on my head?" He'd already conjured up some horrific monstrosity in his head, something with tentacles and a beak, like C'thulu's wet dream. So taking the plunge he pulled it off his head and held it at arms length, "This is not what I thought it was." Admitted the teen, looking at the azure dragonling in his arms.

It had two short horns on the back of its head and on in the centre of its forehead pointing forward like a curved blade, it had big sunset orange eyes and just from the look of its arm and leg bone structure, it could be bi or quadrupedal. A pair of little wings twitched on its back as it stared up at the Devil.

"Oh...I guess she found you. I can't tell if that's good or bad to tell you true." Menma rose his one visible brow at the man, "That there is Tiamat, powerful as powerful can be, you see she sleeps here in her smallest of forms for long periods of time until a bond can be formed. She's one of the Five Great Dragon Kings, but instead of missing like them she's been here, basically running things." Explained the Familiar Master.

Menma's eye widened in shock, he adjusted to she was sitting on his hands instead of being held under her arms like a child, "Uh...Hey." Greeted the Devil, her sunset eyes scanned his face critically. Her little head tilting to the side like a dog that heard a new noise. "I don't know how it works for you, but apparently Dragon's can talk. Is that right or I am being fed dirty, dirty lies?" He questioned, sitting down next to the river and placing her on his lap, the Familiar Master backed away slowly and quickly gestured for Serafall to do the same.

The dragon remained silent, "That's cool. I'll just have to club Issei with a chair when I get back." He grew a dark smile on his face at the idea, the dragon sitting on his lap silently looking at his face, "You got a hell of a stare, anyone ever tell you that?" The dragon licked his hand in response, "I guess...Not? I'm not good at this whole interpretation thing."

"_You are strange. At the sound of my name many flee in terror, do you not know of me?_" Asked a mature feminine voice in his head, her orange eyes pulsing with each word.

"Nope. Though there is a weapon in L.o.L called Tiamat, that's about as close as it gets." The dragonling seemed to sweatdrop and shake her head, hopping off his lap and walking a few paces away from him, shrouded in white light that was almost blindingly bright she appeared in her true form.

Akin to a western dragon in build, the same features just more...Intense. Those doughy orange eyes were now keen as knives and deadly looking. Each of her feet had four wicked looking claws as toes with one raptor-like claw at each of her heels. He tail whipped dangerously having a large bladed point, her wings were spread at twice her body length and the membrane of her wings had glowing blue veins running through them. At the apex of each wing were a pair of talons that looked like they could tear steel like butter.

Her head lengthened and narrowed slightly instead of having that cute 'pudgy baby' look she had a moment ago, her two bottom canines stuck up in some kind of reverse saber-tooth fashion. She was about twice his size and her body was rippling with prime, trained muscle.

Menma gave a low whistle of appreciation, "Wow...Now someone, is a gorgeous creature."

"_Oh you're just saying that._" The voice sounded bashful, she smirked and turned slightly from him.

"Are you kidding me!? You look fucking awesome! Something I'd only see drawn by some top-tier artist with way too much time on their hands, you're bloody beautiful woman!" He refuted, Serafall and Towji sweatdropped at what looked like him trying to charm the scales off a dragon.

"_Now that is rather kind of you, what is your name warm-lap?_" She questioned peering closer at him, her eye almost the size of his head.

"Menma Uzumaki, Devil, Sorcerer and currently half-blind." He introduced with a chuckle, before he leant forward and whispered, "Can I touch your scales..?" He asked, looking from side to side conspiratorially.

The dragon laughed in his head, "_Go ahead, Menma-kun._" She bayed him closer, he took a step forward and rubbed the underside of her jaw, "_Oh, you have such warm hands._" She cooed, he didn't bother to think on the double-meaning of what was happening.

"You have really nice scales..." He complimented, "So. Any reason you landed on my head?" He asked, once more sitting down, bringing the dragon's head with him, which in turn got her to lay down her wings folding in and her tail curling around.

Towji's jaw dropped whilst Serafall was cheering silently at the cute beginning.

"_I've never been a familiar to any Devil, I've had contact with them true but I've never been able to resonate with them very well. There's something about you that drew me in._" Admitted the dragon, and it was true, she and Ajuka Beelzebub were acquaintances, she acted as her title of Chaos Karma Dragon would entail, and did a few odd-jobs as a secret judge/administrator for the most important games that Devil society played, other than that though she was usually here on the island.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." He said with a smirk, the dragon blew a small huff at his face out her nostrils, ruffling his hair, he only kept his smirk on though. "So what? Ya wanna be my familiar or somethin', if so that's pretty great I could get used to having someone as good looking as me around all the time." He said with faux arrogance, flicking his hair with a hand, only to receive another huff of air for his trouble.

"_That would be pleasing to me. Though I do question where it is you heard that dragon's could talk, Menma-kun._"

"A...Person I know, I can't call him a friend that just makes me feel dirty considering how vilely perverse he is, Issei Hyoudou apparently his Sacred Gear has a Red Dragon inside, Ddraig or something and it talks to him. So I just made the assumption that all dragon's talk based off that information. Bit of a logic leap but now the two dragons I know of talk so, so far 100%." He informed, though the darkening of her gaze was a little chilling.

"_Ddraig..._" She spat venomously, Her gaze going far off for a moment clouded with hatred, "_Got himself locked into a Sacred Gear, hm? Pathetic. Heavenly Dragon my foot._" She continued muttering various obscenities about Ddraig but Menma wasn't exactly close to the red beast so he didn't care to stick up for it.

"Well Issei is getting strong enough to spar with, so If you want I could get him to go into his armour mode and you could kick the crap out of him." She was standing and staring him dead in the eye.

"_Bind. Me. Now. I'll accept you with open wings if it means getting to mop the floor with that red bastard._" Menma grinned and knelt, taking her right foreclaw into his hand.

"I Menma Uzumaki, do so bind thee..." He looked to her to give her full name.

"_Tiamat, the Chaos Karma Dragon, Blue Dragon King_." She informed.

"Tiamat, the Chaos Karma Dragon, Blue Dragon King, to me, to serve at my side, though battle and blood, till we both drop dead on the field of conflict or get sick of each other." He added the last bit ad-lib, the small chuckle in his head signaled it was well received at least.

A large green circle was formed around both of them, Tiamat and Menma were bathed in a green light, the pact was formed a loose collection of lines forming a pair of wings was burnt into the skin on the back of his hand, Menma rose up and grinned at the dragon who spread her wings and released a powerful roar, knocking the Familiar Master and the Leviathan on their asses.

Menma turned to them with glowing orange eyes and a draconian grin on his face, "Let's go tear shit up."

**End of Chapter.**

**Before anyone asks, no there's nothing overtly meaningful about that end, it's just for looks. The orange eyes will come and go like any eye-colour he has. **

**But as usual if you have any questions throw it on a review of Pm me.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Welcome Back.**

**So the next few chapters are gonna be the only ones that really adhere to the cannon story with any kind of real line, gonna break away into more of an original territory. My aim for this story is 25-30 chapters at most. **

**We'll see how that goes.**

**guisniperman: You don't even know the half of it, guis. Not even the half of it.**

**METALHELLSPWN: Never to old for a good ol' over 9000 joke. **

**LordGhostStriker: No pics available, sorry. Was trolling about the Wiki and was sad to see the only description was 'A blue western dragon'. **

**Start.**

"Depth perception how I missed you!" Cheered the Uzumaki, throwing off his bandage and staring at the world with two open eyes, "The sights of this lovely town, the vision of the people walking around the-Ok this is shit now, I'm going back inside." He ended hunching over and walking back into his room from the balcony, the small blue dragon curled up and sleeping, "That is a wonderful idea." He said with a bright grin, picking up the dragon and laying down, placing her on his chest, she stretched out and yawned adorably before going right back to sleep.

"Outside is overrated, Tia-chan." He grumbled with a click the blinds shut hastily and the room was darkened once more, "Ah, peace."

"Meow."

"Oh? Miyo, c'mon there's always space for you." He pat the spot next to him the cat hastily moved to it, nuzzling into his hand.

"_Back of feline, this is my Devil._" Challenged the dragon, huffing slightly. Menma half opened his eyes sure that a little bitch-fit was about to take place on his chest until the door was thrown open, the two exorcists bursting in, Madara sheepishly chuckling behind them.

"They were quite insistent about coming in, and I just couldn't say no, have you seen those asses?" Madara's face turned from sheepish to a knowing grin, Menma only offered a thumbs up in response.

"Menma-san, Madara-san has informed us you can use your magic, please return the excalibur to us." Pleaded, well it made her sound a little pathetic but pleaded was the only word he could think of at that moment. Menma was about to do just that, but instead a blue circle opened up in his room. Out stepped both Sona and her Queen, Tsubaki.

"Ara...?" Came the surprised twitch from the Dragon Keeper, sitting up and cradling Tiamat in one arm whilst Miyo peered over his shoulder at the new arrivals. "Is there a party in my room or something, one at a time kids." He said amusedly.

"Menma-san, you need to get to the academy right now! There's a powerful Fallen Angel he's summoning up hordes of demons and we need help, we stepped away for a second, we have to go back now. Please hurry!" And like that they were gone. Menma had his eyes wide in shock he quickly dropped Tiamat on his bed and tore into his closet.

"Oho? So that's what all that energy I was sensing was..." Hummed Madara in thought.

"You knew about this and didn't tell me!? You my sensory field is fucking small!" Roared Menma's voice as he quickly got dressed, throwing on a black t-shirt with white flames spiraled around the spine, a pair of black denim jeans and his high-tops. Pawing at his desk for a moment for his catalyst ring and wolf necklace.

"Well I was making lunch so..." Madara waved his hand in a 50-50 motion, "I was busy." He defended lamely, Menma growled at the man like only a battle-hungry defender of things he could hardly stand could. With mild anger and apathy.

"_Hmm...It seems we will do dance on the field of battle sooner than I thought. Good I look forward to our duet, Menma-kun._" Menma nodded and held our a hand for the dragon, she jumped to it and crawled up his arm, sitting on his shoulder, Miyo meowing worriedly on his bed. "_Oh don't worry feline, I'll look after _my_ Devil._" She said mirthfully, making the cat hiss.

"Uh...Hello? The Sword?" Asked Irinia, Menma simply slammed her head into the wall as he bust out into the hallway and out his front door.

"Your sword is mine until this is fucking dealt with, cunt!" He snarled lowly, jumping off the front balcony and taking off into the air, a portal opening that he flew straight in to.

"Should we go..?" Asked Gin, getting a nod from Anna and Tama who raced towards their masters signature, Asia pleaded to be taken along so Gin took her the ol' fashion way, with a piggy back. Like a fuckin' man.

"Uh...Wanna go help out..?" Asked Madara to the bluenette who pulled her friend from the wall and nodded resolutely, only for Irinina to collapse unconscious on the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"It may be our duty to retrieve the sword, but I refuse to allow harm to come to the people of this town." Madara smiled brightly clasping both her hands in his.

"Please date my grandson! You'd be such a good influence." Xenovia sweatdropped at this strange man and his odd requests.

**Kuoh Academy**

The Peerage of Rias Gremory were battling a heavy assault of Cerberus Demons, Issei and Kiba weaving in and our of the battlefield to deliver critical hits whilst Koneko tanked out most of the bigger hits, Rias and Akeno blasting the hell hounds with all they had, the head honcho who was in charge of summoning up more was watching from the opposite side of the battlefield.

"Where is he!? Where is the one who sullied my plans so!?" Demanded the man, he was a tall, elf like man with aristocratic features and wavy black hair along with a short black chin-beard. He had broad shoulders and was donned in a black robe with thickly armoured shoulder guards and many other accessories made for battle. He had thin slits as his pupils, the rest of his eyes were a single angry shade of red. Out of his back were two large black wings that kept him aloft the ground as he summoned demons to throw at the school and the heirs within.

"Do you think he means Menma-senpai!?" Asked Kiba, shouting over the death howl of a beast he just slammed his fist through.

"Possibly, it seems the most likely. Menma-san _did_ kill off his star players, rid him of a three-in-one excalibur _and_ destroy a whole swathe of his followers." Replied Akeno, sending several strikes of lightning raining down across the field.

"It doesn't matter right now, if he hasn't arrived yet he isn't coming, no Devil couldn't ignore this massive amount of energy." Grunted Kiba, spinning like a top with his fire and ice swords through a trio of beasts burning and freezing them to death. "Issei behind you!" Shouted the Knight, quickly turning around and rushing to cover his comrade, staking his blade through the skull of a beast before it could take a bite.

"Thanks, Kiba...This is really friggen exhausting..." Panted out the Red Dragon.

"If you don't tell me where he is I'll set off the bomb myself!" Demanded Kokabiel, the Fallen Angel.

"Get set or get dead motherfucker!" Roared a voice, a flash of movement and the Fallen was thrown to the ground like a rock in water, though he created a crater instead of a splash.

The owner of this voice came to a stop and dropped onto the ground, his wings folding in and seemingly sinking into his shirt, "Menma-senpai! What took you so long?" Asked Issei, Boosting his power and blasting a beast to dust.

"I can't sense magic for shit, Jii-san didn't bother to inform me. Sona appeared and told me, that's the only reason I know about any of this." Said Menma, Tiamat dropping onto the ground next to him. "You ready to rip and rend, Tia?" He asked cracking his knuckles as clouds seemed to roll in. His face being shadowed by his hair, only his glowing eyes were visible.

"_Very much so, Menma-kun_." Replied the dragon, being shrouded in white light and going into her true form, shadowing him, with a single sweep of her tail she slaughtered half of the remaining cerberus, she then proceeded to tear apart their ranks the sheer appearance of the Blue Dragon King was enough to make the Devils quake, the Fallen was...Distracted, shall we say.

"You!" Screamed the Fallen, with bloody rage, "I'll kill you for what you've done."

Menma's face was revealed, a perfect picture of stone cold killer, "That's my line, corpse." He spoke, before a manic grin grew on his face, "**Limit Break: Zinogre!**" With an explosive blast of power he was covered in his armour, hunching over slightly and drawing into his vortex, producing a certain weapon that made everyone gasp.

"That's the excalibur!" Shouted Kiba, almost frothing at the mouth, "How can he wield it and not be killed!?"

"Moreover where did he get a Sacred Gear that gives him armour?" Asked Akeno.

"What about that bigass dragon!?" Screamed Issei.

"_Oi! Issei, stay the hell away from her! That's Tiamat, she hates my damn guts if she finds out that you and I are partners she'll rip you to shreds!_" Issei almost flaked out and fainted their but settled for falling on his ass in shock.

"You dare use my own tool against me!? My instrument of war, I'll kill you, I'll slaughter everyone you love, I'll RAZE THIS CITY-Hrk!" The Fallen's tirade was cut short as Menma's helmet covered face appeared before him, sword thrust into the black angels leg making him gasp in pain.

"You talk to much, corpse." Came the muffled voice of the bestial teen, punching his foe upwards and at the same time, pulling the sword out of his leg, "_Thunderstorm!_" The strike of lightning shot through the fallen, making him scream bloody murder and struck Menma's armoured frame, as it happened the teen cracked his neck and released a fierce battle-cry. The ground ripping up around him.

"Point made." Said Menma, placing the sword back into the red vortex and waiting for the Fallen to make a return move. "Get up, corpse. You've got more in you than that." Menma bounced from heel to heel, reveling in the howling screams from the beasts his beloved Tia was chewing up.

"You...!" Growled Kokabiel, summoning a great flux of power and shooting a cannon or light energy at the Devil, Menma made move to dodge only to feel something grab him from behind, someone who was previously hidden, it appeared to be a grunt considering the basic bitch church garb.

Menma grabbed the man over his shoulder and threw him in way of the blast leaping away to the right, rolling as he landed. "Can't get me I'm the motherfucking gingerbread man." Snarled the Zingore infused teen, having to leap and roll forward once more to avoid being impaled by a wave of black feathers, the way they sunk into the ground like arrows was not a good sign. He had faith in his armour, but he didn't want to road test it in the middle of what could very well be a light or death battle...Then again it did hold up to his old mans punches...

"If all else fails I'll put my faith in it." One good thing about rerouting all the extra Magic from his eyes back into the rest of his body, he didn't really feel like he could tire out in this state. So if it came down to it, a battle of attrition would be his win.

"Die!" Screamed a voice from behind, Menma felt a blade crash against his armour, turning to see the rapidly paling face of yet another basic bitch grunt, Menma just swiftly punch the mans' head into mush before flashing away.

Kokabiel gathered a large orb of Light Magic and released it like a nova of power, this seemed to be in his favour as it found purchase on his foe, the fool tried to appear behind him, Kokabiel sneered at the smoke rising from his armour, no doubt his flesh was being destroyed by his angelic power.

"Menma-san! Are you alright!?" Came the, worried? Voice of the exorcist bluenette, Xenovia. It appeared his supreme backup was here in time, not that he actually needed backup but hey more witnesses to his awesomeness right?

"Oh? Pawns of the church, feh. Be gone little girl, I have no time for you, I'm going to kill this wretch for ruining my plans, and then I'm going to-hurk!" Kokabiel was thrown back by a powerful punch to the jaw, his foe apparently not so 'vanquished'.

Menma stood up, flexing and unflexing his fist, "That tickled. Care to try again?" He goaded, the clawed knuckledusters that came with his armour were certainly something, the bonus of making his opponent bleed like a bitch as he busted their fucking face up was especially lovely.

"You foul little beast..." Cursed the Fallen, "Fine, you want to fight me full on?" Kokabiel scraped some of the blood off his face and threw it to the ground, a red circle the rapidly grew in size.

"Oh wow...It's a cerberus, but bigger. I'm sooo fucking impressed...I feel like someone forgot mines bigger than yours..." He pointed to the dragon that swooped in and grabbed the cerberus, her form exploding with blue magic, Menma idly noted it wasn't just magic but water. She was drowning it, huh.

"Well water conducts electricity, it's like we were destined to be together." He idly made a heart sign with his fingers to the dragon before flashing forward, it seemed like the rest of the world had to catch up as the ground tore up after he'd already moved on, a great gale being drawn in his wake. "Take it like a bitch!" Roared Menma, leaping into a roundhouse to the face, breaking the jaw of his foe and twisting his neck harshly, landing behind the Fallen Menma spun around, flooding his arms with his power, "_**Strike!**_" The punch, infused with the power of lightning, real and magical, cooked the Fallen's organs on impact.

Well that's what he thought happened.

"Wait a second...Fallen don't turn into stone when they die..." Menma would have thought more on this revelation but he was currently being hurled through the air at rapid speeds, yes now he landed...And skidded through the pavement making a large rending scar in the ground, he ended his movement at the feet of his Grandfather.

"Oh...Hey." Greeted Menma, his armour looked to be scuffed and a little chipped but he sounded fine.

"M-Menma-san, do you require assistance?" Asked Xenovia, unsheathing her large sword and offering her hand to him.

"Oho?" He took her hand and allowed her to help him out of the hole he found himself in, "I knew you'd get fond of me, what was it? My hair? The way I change my eye colour every now and again? Or my devilish good looks?" He goaded lightly, nudging her shoulder with his elbow, she merely sighed and got into a ready stance. "Fine-fine. But I'm so chatting you up after this is over."

"Oh? So you managed to kill my doppelganger? Well done." Said a completely unharmed Kokabiel, his face lined with amusement, "Are you and your little church tool going to work together to strike me down now? How amusing, do you even know who I am? What you're trying to do?" Asked the Fallen condescendingly, shaking his head like he was talking to children.

"You're a corpse, corpse. We both know this day ends with me coated in your entrails." Replied Menma, cracking his knuckles and neck, Xenovia seemed to tense as his power seemed to become more potent suddenly.

"Fool! I was there in the last war! Where the Old Satans were killed, where our useless God was slaughtered like a pathetic lamb! I want to go back to it! To have my blood rushing and the wailing cries of my enemies around me!" Screamed out the Fallen.

"Sorry...Repeat that first bit." Asked Menma, looking at the horrified face of his Asia, and Xenovia who looked pale as a sheet.

"Oh, that's right it isn't common knowledge among the various useless sheep is it? Allow me to spell it out for you." Kokabiel looked at the two obviously effected the most, "God. Is. Dead." He then proceeded with the typical bad guy laugh.

Xenovia's sword arm went weak as she took a step back, Asia broke out into silent tears, Gin doing his best to comfort her, hah poor fucker the monkey was even worse than Menma, Tama tried to help but was probably making it worse by crying because Asia was crying.

The Uzumaki placed a hand on Xenovia's shoulder, "Uh look. I know that your faith may have just been rocked with a hurricane, but can you have that crisis _after_ we kill this fucker?" The yellow eyed girl looked at him, tears in her eyes. "Oh c'mon don't do that...I can't deal with other people crying..." He muttered, placing and arm around her shoulder, lifting his helmet and pressing his lips to her temple. "Don't cry. We'll rip his heart out and stomp on it, but please...Don't cry."

If anything she looked shocked into a catatonic state, so technically he won. "Make sure no-one dies, Jii-san." Madara nodded and waved him off with a bright smile.

"Ma ma, Menma-kun. Kiss and run? I taught you well." The Uzumaki merely pulled his helmet down and flashed forward.

Kokabiel shot several beams of light, Menma produced Ludwig from his vortex and did a mid-run baseball swing at one beam, sending it right back, the Fallen was forced to dodge only to hear a buzzing noise, Kokabiel looked towards the source of the noise and was horrified to see the sword being throwing at him.

"Buchou, now-wait!" Shouted Issei, transferring his boost to Rias who prepped an unspeakably large orb of concentrated Destruction and lobbed it towards the Fallen, though at the last second the boy tried to stop her from launching it, seeing what could only be described as horror in motion.

Menma, however being as terrible at sensing magic as he was, did not see nor sense this coming and had already leapt, he _did_ however see a large cluster of red rapidly approaching to his side, "Eh?" Wether by some cosmic skullfuck or just plain bad luck he'd leapt to finish it at the same time as Rias decided to do something for a change. Wonderful.

Menma made a grab for Kokabiel, almost orgasming in releif when he grabbed the fuckers ankle, his own wings shooting out to continue his speed, shifting his weight the Uzumaki threw the Fallen towards the power of destruction. Menma flapped his wings so hard he felt like they were about to snap from the speed, though it seemed like it wasn't enough.

Did you know Power of Destruction explodes when it's that concentrated? He didn't. He really wished that he did to at least mentally prepare himself, but the ungodly amount of pain that seemed to flood his body when that explosion struck his already weakened armour, words fail to describe it.

It felt like fire, but way worse. He felt his Limit Breaker leave is system as he hit the ground, Ludwig falling and staking into it next to him, the only thing left of Kokabiel being a few scattered feathers and some blood. "_Good enough, though someone's getting a skullfucking when I can feel my legs again._" He sighed, this better not become a trend.

"_I probably feel worse than it actually is, just a few burns, nothing overtly serious._" Summoning up a flux of magic he created a _Riptide_ and _Healing Wave_, while they were only half as powerful as usual, they did the job, he was right, it felt worse than it actually was. Good, he didn't want to put up with another, 'The hero faints after an intense battle' moment. He'd probably puke.

Standing up and leaning on Ludwig he was less than pleased with the sorry state his wings were in, "Oh...That appears to be quite the break..." One was bent inwards and the other just seemed to turn to jelly halfway across. "Quite the pair, of breaks I should say." He sighed, taking a moment to collect himself before retracting his wings, tearing his helmet and releasing a howl of pain as the broken appendages sunk back into his skin.

Sweat dripped down the side of his face, he panted raggedly and held tightly onto his sword in hopes that it would somehow stem the pain. Though a cool sensation flooded his senses from the neck down, he looked to see himself coated in water, craning his head up he saw the gentle orange eyes of his darling Tia.

"Ah, Tia-chan. Right in the nick of time, did you see that? What a team-killing fucktard." He swore darkly, though that anger seemed to bubble away as his darling nuzzled her big head against his.

"_There there, Menma-kun. Tia will fix you._" She cooed, making him chuckle. "_But I am going to have to smack that little Devil bitch, what is this, day two together and already you're getting harmed. Tsk tsk tsk, that'll just look bad on my resume._"

Menma stepped out of her waters and pulled Ludwig into the vortex, Tia shrinking down to size and sitting on his amoured shoulder, Menma slowly made his way towards, "Teamkilling, killstealing cunt. Imma punch you so hard in the stomach you'll go sterile." He growled darkly, a little black cloud hanging over his head as his thoughts got darker and darker.

By the time he'd made it over to his little familial group he was on levels of 'baby skinning'. Though the sensation of being hugged distracted him, looking down he saw a mop of blonde hair, smiling softly he returned it, "You'll be fine, Asia-chan. You have me, you have us. Love oneself before asking it of another, do you think you can love yourself, Asia?" He asked gently.

"I love you, Menma-kun. And I love Tama-chan, and Madara-sama, and Gin-san and Anna-san. And I think I can love myself as well." She said quietly.

"Then that's all you need, what matters in what's here. Not what isn't." The girl took a step back and looked up at him, smiling with puffy red cheeks, he kissed her forehead and pat her head, his armour thankfully not catching on her hair.

"Xenovia...Y'ok?" Asked Menma squatting next to the defeated looking exorcist.

"All I ever had, all I ever fought for, was the Lord...But all of that was meaningless...He's dead? What do I have now..? What do any of us have?" Asked the lost girl, in the back of his head Menma grinned like a madman, but in the forefront he kept his face calm.

"You can have us, if ya want." He offered, garnering her stare, "Like I told Asia, we're a family. If ya want, I'd be more than happy to have you in it." The dragon on his shoulder released a small trill of noise akin to curiosity as the girl stared into the electric blue eyes of the Dragon Keeper.

Menma was pretty sure she went back to being catatonic because she was sitting their for a good while, "_A strange girl isn't she? A simple yes or no would suffice._" Drawled the Blue Dragon King.

"I uh..." She stumbled, Menma only smiled assuringly, "Ah, yes please. Menma-san." She said quietly, Menma grinned widely.

"_I am so getting into the battle suit, hahah!_" He cheered mentally, he helped her stand and turned at the sound of feet, Rias and her Peerage were coming over.

"Excuse me a moment, I just have to loose my shit." He said with a bright smile that quickly turned into a foul, dark scowl as he turned on his heel.

"Menma-senpai, thank goodness you're ok..." Sighed The Red Dragon in relief with a bright smile on his face. "Eh..?" Menma just walked past Issei and stopped a step before Rias, staring her in the face before slamming the back of his hand into her cheek, knocking her on her ass.

"Enough with the fucking FIREBALLS! All you do is fuck me over you useless flesh-sack!" He bellowed, before spinning on his heel once more and walking away, grabbing Kiba's arm and twisting his until it snapped in his hand as the boy tried to stop him from leaving.

"Shall we go home?" He asked with a faux smile.

**End Of chapter.**

**Got it out in under a few hours. Feel my hot, sticky love.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	13. Chapter 13

**So I'd like to point out if I describe someone in the buff and they appear different in the anime/manga, an example is Xenovia in this chapter, what I say to this is I don't watch the anime as it's ecchi bullshit and I don't read the manga, because it's ecchi bullshit. **

**Once more thank you to those who reveiwed, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside of my decrepit cesspit of a heart. No answers this time, didn't get any questions. Or at least no super direct questions.**

**Start **

"Due to events that have transpired I believe you deserve this, Ma-chan." Serafall held out a silver rectangular case, the black haired Devil took it and clicked it open, within was a whole azure set of Evil Pieces, he felt the things draw on his energy, each one of them slowly starting to shine in a powerful blue light. Menma closed the lid with his thumb and grinned widely.

"Congratulations, Ma-chan." Said the Leviathan, Menma bowed with a hand across his chest. "Though expect some backlash for backhanding Rias-chan..." She muttered with a sigh.

"She shot me with a fireball. Again. This time I was about to finish the fight." He replied, crossing his arms and frowning. Sera shrugged.

"Witness accounts back that up, but like I said just be aware that something may end up happening." He rubbed the bridge of his nose and nodded, "Kissies..?" She asked, pouting cutely.

"I honestly don't get why you're so hung up on this." He admitted giving her what she asked for, though it seemed to be a cunning trap as she leapt on him and locked her legs behind his back, what followed was a some jolly co-operation under the sheets of the Leviathan's castle.

Sex. They were having sex. Someone was bound to be confused. What with the stealthy hidden manner of which it was spoken about.

**Home**

Menma, frazzled and unkempt, appeared in his room via blue teleportation circle. "Well at least it gets more tolerable." He admitted with a yawn, "Darkness that woman is a beast." He heard tiny chirps and saw Tia sitting on his bed looking up at him.

"_I can smell the sex on you. And here I thought you were just going to be decorated, not to decorate her._" Considering the fact that once more he glazed the beautiful Leviathan's face, Menma burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oh you don't even know the half of it, my darling Tia." The dragon merely huffed and curled up, having a nap, "You sleep an awful lot." He commented absently, placing his newly acquired Evil Piece set on his desk and stripping on his way to the bathroom.

"Oh, Menma-kun! Welcome back, what did Serafall-sama want with you this early in the morning?" Asked Asia, smiling brightly as they crossed in the hallway.

"Oh, she gave my my Evil Piece set. It's on my desk if ya wanna have a look at it. I'm just gonna duck into the shower, the woman is insatiable." Her blush, while considerably smaller than usual, was ripe as a cherry at the mental images she conjured up before her mind fully registered the first part of what he'd said.

"You got your Piece set?!" She asked, getting a slow nod in return, "Enjoy your shower!" She said quickly rushing down the hall. Menma shook his head and opened the door to the bathroom and stepped in, throwing his shirt into the dirty clothes basket and dropping his pants.

"Menma-san." Called a voice at the door, Menma half-turned to the holder of the voice. "May I speak with you?" Asked Xenovia, apparently not at all caring for the fact he was naked, or the fact that she was only in a towel, as while he didn't use it, there was an actual bath in the bathroom.

"You may, you're gonna have to speak up though, my hair's pretty good at blocking noise when its wet." He informed, turning on the shower and testing the water before he stepped in.

"Two things, actually." She admitted, dropping her towel, if Menma hadn't busted several nuts that morning he would more than likely be popping half-mast right about now, her body was fucking delicious, she had wonderfully flawless skin, a toned stomach with her abs being visible enough to show how hard she worked for her strength while also not being off-putting, there was something magically erection educing about lady abs, and Xenova was rockin' it.

"Go ahead." He stepped in the shower but didn't close the door watching her get into the bathtub, "_My hormones. They rage within me..._" Biting his bottom lip to stop himself from giving a glorious battle cry of sexual fury. "_Patience Menma. It's a virtue, it'll happen soon._" He promised himself.

"I heard you and Asia-san speaking, I would be grateful if you would use one of your pieces on me." Menma's eyes widened a little at that.

"_Holy shit this was easy!_" He thought, turning away lest she see his massive grin. "I don't see a problem with that, as long as you don't. I'd be more than happy to have you." He said with his most controlled voice he could must at the moment, his mind being flooded by the images of the girl he was speaking to being nailed to the fucking wall with his dick, maybe he _did _think with his dick more than he'd like to admit, but when it counted sex was the furthest thing from his mind, that's good enough right?

"I would also like to request that you make babies with me. You are a strong man and as such would gift me with strong offspring." Menma paused for a moment with that one, would being a Devil of 'prestige' mean he'd be somewhat obligated to have some form of legacy? Could his children even use magic like his? Having kids seemed to be coming up more and more recently. He'd have to think on this more before making a solid decision, for now he'd have to ask his old man about 'magic contraception' because condoms were fine and all but he wouldn't mind having raw sex once and a while.

It was kind of funny how his entire motivation for kids was the making them, then again that was the best part. "_Yeah no, kids can wait a decade. I'll stick to just fucking right now._" He amended in his head.

"How's about this." He started, getting her attention, "I'm only 17 and you are..?"

"17, my birthday was not that long ago." She informed.

"Oh, when?" He asked curiously.

"February 14." Menma chuckled with a amused/shocked look on his face, "What?" She asked curiously.

"Your birthday is on Valentines day? Holy shit, what a kick in the teeth. Forgive me for raving about my views, but valentines day is a sack of crap who the fuck thinks one day a year needs to be dedicated to your partner? Isn't it supposed to be every day, the way I hear people go on and fucking on about how important love and all that shit is the more hypocrisy I see in it. That and I find it amusing how nothing is ever good enough, 'Oh we're only going out for dinner, its Valentines day you know' bitch bitch bitch." He grumbled, "Anyway, now I have a new reason to actually do something on Valentines day."

"And what would that be?" She questioned curiously.

"Well it'd be your birthday so I can't just sit in my room being a spiteful fuck. We'll go on some super-awesome-special little day and be a pair of damn good lookin' people, makin' all those saps feel inferior. Whoa I got way off topic..." He seemed to finally realize, the woman in the tub merely shrugged not really minding it, the idea of being with him in a romantic sense hadn't really crosser her mind, he was a very attractive man, no doubt about that but romance never really entered the equation.

She wasn't particularly good at expressing herself, and with Irinia's raging departure she doubted she'd get much better at it, since the girl was always a great deal more expressive, Xenovia was a slight upset with how poorly her partner had taken her abandonment of her vows, but she didn't know what Xenovia knew, the bluenette wished she could un-know what she did now, but being welcomed with open arms was not something she was used to, it was...Comforting, knowing someone she could speak with was literally a few feet away.

"Anyway, we're still young and the last thing I should be thinking about right now is kids. So I'll do you a deal, 10 years from now you and me will curl up into bed one night, stare deeply into each others eyes and then proceed to fuck like savage animals, on the next day we emerge standing naked and proud as all hell and declare to the world, 'More awesome has entered you by force!'."

"10 years...Hm. I suppose that is acceptable, we will be long-lived anyway so it's not like time is a true problem. Very well, Menma-san I accept you as my mate." Menma almost pointed out that she was the one propositioning him, but didn't bother as he felt like it wouldn't really matter to her.

"I should probably get all this sorted with Sona before I bother making some pseudo harem." He muttered, scrubbing his hair, "Not something I'm looking forward to." He could already get a feeling for how that would end up, and thus began to mentally prepare the shit out of himself. "Ooh there's that sinking feeling." He grumbled, only to feel a pair of hands on his back, "There any particular reason you're in the shower with me now?" He asked, she merely flicked her hair away from her face and looked up at him.

"Now that we are declared as mates I don't see a problem with washing your back. It's trivial compared to what we will be doing anyway." She replied, Menma turned to face her idly noting just how fucking dramatic and theatric this would look in his head when he looked back on this moment.

The steamy water pouring over his shoulders, masking one of his eyes with his black mop of hair, he leant forward and captured her lips, it gave him chills they were so soft and warm, her hands reached up around the back of his neck interlocking her fingers through his hair.

Can someone say picture perfect?

**Living Room, a short time later.**

Clothed by still with slightly damp hair the Uzumaki had gathered his housemates around, "Friendo's I present thee with my Evil Piece set!" He paused for dramatic tension opening the case as it shined brightly from within.

"Wow! They're so pretty, Aniki!" Gushed Tama excitedly, "Can I have one, please please please!" She begged, Menma placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her dead in the eye.

"Calm your budding breasts, Tama I was getting to that." She seemed to vibrate with excitement, Menma shook his head and turned to Gin, Anna and Xenovia. "Xenovia and I have already talked it over but are you two down to party?" He asked with a risen brow, the semi-serious tension caused by the case cut in two purely on how blasé he was about the whole affair.

"Yeah, I guess. Whatever..." Said Gin, yawning absently. Making the swordswoman sweatdrop at his attitude.

"I feel insulted that you felt the need to ask, Menma-sama." Said Anna evenly, Menma sighed and nodded, strange-_very strange_-woman that one.

"What don't I get to asked?" Interrupted Madara crossing his arms and huffing.

"No, I know how fucking broken you are, no fight would ever be worth doing because I could just be like, I choose you, Jii-sama. Use I-Win." Said Menma with a deadpan getting a serious, sagely nod from his old man.

"This is true, I am pretty great. Alright you may continue." Said Madara with a shrug, sipping on his juice again.

"Ah...Menma-kun, can I..?" Squeaked Asia's voice, her head poked out into the doorway. Menma rose a brow, "Uh, j-join your...Peerage?"

"Asia, are you absolutely sure about this? There will be a lot of battles, a lot of blood and death around us. Do you want to be involved in that?" He asked, while usually he would just accept help that was pledged to him, but Asia was so...Asia. She was too nice to really put the fear of death into anyone and really didn't have much in the line of offensive abilities...Oh wait.

Menma almost slapped his forehead, "_Just make her a bishop, she'll get magic bim bam boom, settled."_ Darkness why didn't that just occur to him immediately.

"I know that, but family looks after one another. And with my Twilight Healing I can make sure everyone gets out of everything alright..." She countered shyly, it was obvious she wasn't much of an 'asker' one could assume because of her Nun-ly upbringing.

"Well, it's your choice. I'm just reminding you of the consequences." Menma produced the silver case and opened it once more, gesturing Tama over he presented her with one of his Bishops, "From what Jii-san has told me of Kitsune's they focus mostly on magic-y stuff, so darling Tama-chan you can be one of my Bishops." Tama was buzzing with excitement, Menma grabbed the small piece with two fingers and placed it against her chest, "I Menma Uzumaki, bind thee Tama as my Bishop to serve as my wise destroyer." The piece sunk into her skin like a rock in water.

Tama felt like her Aniki was hugging her, she was warm all over and she felt like she was going to burst like a water balloon. Contrary to what Tama thought, she was not going to explode like a balloon, in fact what _was _happening was she was going what every Kitsune went through, a second ghostly tail formed next to her real one, blue magic was surging through her body and forcing her body to adapt, this in turn pushed her forward to the typical evolutionary point of her species. As it stabilized the tail went from ghostly to solid in form, she looked a little taller as well. But it wasn't as noticeable as a second fucking tail.

Menma grinned widely as she held her backside and whined, "Ow..." He pat her head, effectively distracting her from any pain and going into 'bubble cute mode'.

"Well, that was unexpected, you got a second tail, Tama-chan. Congratulations." The girl craned her head and gasped , grabbing both her tail and hugging them, looking up at him like he'd just created the universe.

"You're amazing, Aniki!" She said, awestruck. The Uzumaki just chuckled, he had no idea his power could trigger this great a change in the fox-girl, perhaps she was close to doing so naturally? Or he had more power in him than he thought. Didn't really matter either way, it happened, the _how _isn't important. He picked up the girl and sat her on the couch next to him, immediately she glomped onto his side.

"C'mere Gin." He bayed the monkey man over, the silver haired man sighed, idly scratching his black furred side and got up, making his way over to the black haired man, kneeling down so he could give him his piece. It was a Knight, Gin found this reasonable, he was tough and definitely more of a melee fighter and the added speed on his already stone-smashing blows would be a devastating effect.

Once more Menma spoke the little mantra and bound the monkey man to him, the black fur on Gin's body gained a blue sheen to it, turning it from slate black to a raven black colour. His silvery white eyes became an icy silver-blue. And his muscles seemed to grow before relaxing, the rush of magic felt intoxicating to the monkey man he felt the buzz still fresh on his mind.

The man nodded absentmindedly and returned to his seat, flopping out and taking a moment to come down from his magical high. Menma watched Gin yawn loudly and stretch like a cat, the surge of magic seemed to do him well, it probably all depended on Gin as to how effective it would end up being.

Anna stepped forward and Menma presented her with the other Knight piece her natural agility would benefit most from the speed upgrade that came with being a Knight, her venom could be applied before anyone would even notice, and having her able to zip about a battlefield inflicting horrible poisonous death upon his enemies would be an incredible asset.

Like the others something ended up happening to Anna, her scales shimmered and changed from black to an abyssal blue, the red underside remaining, though Menma had to jump up and catch her in order to support her falling form, she gripped his shoulder tightly, hissing in pain in his ear, her lower body was covered in a bright azure light that seemed to obscure her whole form. When it died down it revealed her tail and legs had fused to become one large tail, effectively changing the hebi-onna to a lamia. The death glare of the venomous woman did put a slight ice to the veins of the Uzumaki until his old man spoke up.

"Don't worry my dear, Anna. This form is switchable, try and suck all the new magic back into your body and you should change back easily." Advised Madara, rolling his ruby red eyes, before the mans eyes returned to their usual coal black.

The serpent woman was clutching onto Menma for dear life, he tried his best to calm her down but he was obviously bad at this kind of thing, "You have made me feel very uncomfortable." Stated Anna, referring to the fact that right now she was numb from the waist down, and really couldn't do any kind of movement that it required. She had attempted to follow Madara's advice but so far it had been useless as she was far to distracted on the massive change to really concentrate on drawing magic back into her.

"Well here, just sit down until you can move your tail properly and we'll go from there, I'll do my best to fix this, I'm sorry." He never apologized for things he did, but then again this was one of his bunch and Anna had been nothing if not accepting and helpful since he'd picked her up. That and he didn't do this intentionally so was thrown for a fucking loop on how to react to it.

"…" That stare was pretty intense, he'd give her that.

"Who knew you could supe-up Yokai with your magic? Yet another thing a bunch of people will want that delicate little body of your for." Joked Madara, though there was definitely a kernel of truth to it, if it got out he could apparently superpower Yokai into higher stages of their species chain, who fucking knew what would happen to him.

"Xenovia." He said, gesturing the girl over after sitting the now lamia on his couch, the woman found it a little tricky to keep upright at first but with a little help from Tama, managed it. He grabbed the case and paused for dramatic effect, looking at her over the case lid and watching her squirm under his intense gaze, "Will you...!" He whipped out a piece, took her hand into his and knelt, "...Be my Queen!" Sparkly eyes and all, he would commit for the bit.

The girls eyes widened, Madara gasped exaggeratedly placing a hand on Asia's shoulder and one on his heart, "My little boys found himself a wife. I promised myself I wouldn't cry...But it's so much harder in the moment!" Wailed the grown man like a little bitch.

Xenovia was taken aback, mostly by the words of the older man, quickly she pulled the teen up and pushed the hand holding the chess piece into her chest, feeling the magic of her mate flood her system was truly an experience. Menma straight faced kept his hand on her tit the whole time, not even batting an eye as he uttered the command phrase, like with the others the bond was forged easily. Madara could easily spot a great well of magic forming in the girls body though, it appeared due to the sheer amount his grandson had he could easily make sorcerers out of any random creature.

That was good and yet extremely dangerous, it seemed slowly the targets would stack up on his kid.

Xenovia's face was slightly flushed as she felt the new thrumming sensation in her chest settle, grabbing the taller teen by the back of the head and smashing their lips together fitting her body against his easily.

"Why is Aneki is trying to eat Aniki...Should we stop her?" Asked Tama looking up at the snake woman who merely sighed and concentrated on herself at the moment, pulling all the magic in her body back into her core, once more a bright light flooded her form and her legs and normal tail returned, her scales retreating to their usual placing instead of being all over her body. Anna sighed in relief, like a massive boulder had just been lifted off her.

While that form had its advantages, it would take some getting used to, and it did nothing for her nerves to have one giant leg instead of two.

"Xenovia-san is very...Aggressive." Commented Asia quietly, flushed at the sight of it.

"Oh yeah, then again I suppose that what it takes nowadays. Little bastard's probably gonna end up roping himself into some huge conflict, might even die." Said Madara, the levity with which he did so didn't help Asia's thumping heart though, at the idea of her most precious thing, her Menma-kun.

Finally managing to separate Menma and Xenovia panted a few inches apart, "That was awesome..." He commented getting a smirk from the girl who gave him one last kiss before whispering something into his ear and walking out of the room with a little extra something in her gait.

"_I'm a fucking wizard of eroticism._" Though the Uzumaki with pride, it seemed he attracted sexual escapades with great ease, and having the testicular fortitude to act upon these offers was certainly something that apparently most people his age didn't have. Yet for some reason still complained about the lack of sex, it was odd. "_Though who the fuck told her about the bodysuit...Gin you fucker._" He glared/stared adoringly at the monkey man who merely raised a thumb.

"Asia-chan, you're up next." He said with a grin, holding up a blue bishop, the girl quickly crossed the room and stood before him, unlike the others there was no grand flooding of light, or extreme sexual advance, Asia did indeed feel the flux of power but was more at peace with it than energized.

"Now if you'll all excuse me. I have some business to attend to." Menma bid them all a short goodbye before booking it down the hall and slamming his door, turning to see Xenovia with her battle suit on, though her delicious honeypot was clearly visible by the lack of underwear, and it seemed to act as more of a pushup concerning her breasts, effectively making it a corset, that and the thigh-high...Battle-stockings? She wore, were doing all kinds of wonderful things to his lower half.

"_I cannot explain my love for thigh-highs. And I don't care to._" Not one to leave a lady hanging he dove right in, shirt already off and on top of his lady she dragged his lips to hers with one hand whilst exploring his chest with her other.

Menma's hands were quite a bit more entertained with her womanhood, two fingers taking in turns to move in and out of her vagina with practiced ease, unfortunately he had to use his other hand to keep him upright so no breast fondling for him.

All in all, it was a good day. And he was about to paint this woman white on the inside because the old man came through and sterilized the fuck out of him for about a month. It was actually a little off-putting how a little burst of magic to his stomach region could do that, but fuck it. The old man had never steered him wrong and he put his faith in him this time as well.

Feeling she was about ready to action Menma separated their lips, her tongue slightly leaving her mouth in attempts to retrieve its new partner, Menma spread her legs apart and gave her lower lips a loving tongue kiss before drawing his weapon, "Alright, you ready for this?" He asked, though the heat radiating off her body, the flush of her face and the heaving of her chest was more than enough to answer that question.

A quick and impatient nod was his answer, Menma grinned devilishly and quickly flipped her over, slid in and felt like he'd just stuck his dick into an inferno, mushing her face into the pillow to muffle her cries of pain and pleasure as she was penetrated for the first time. Menma gave himself a moment to truly appreciate raw sex for what it was. He could feel _everything_ and it was fucking awesome.

Giving her tight, toned ass a firm slap he shuddered with pleasure as she tightened reflexively, grabbing her beautifully shaped hips he began his assault, slow and methodical at first, because to be totally honest the level of self-control he was having to exude to not cum right now was ridiculous, the difference between condom and raw was that startling.

Or, Xenovia just had the pussy of a goddess, that was also highly possible. He'd believe it at this point.

The girls cries of pain slowly trickled off at the 20 second mark, Menma could be quite happy to say he was pretty well hung, it had nothing to do with the fact he'd been altering his body with magic for the past three years, nothing whatsoever. So he could understand why it took a bit.

Pulling his hand back and slipping it under her battle suit he groped and gripped her ass as hard as he could, enjoying the taunt muscle and soft skin under his grip. "_If I died right now, I could die saying I was having the best sex of my damned life_." He thought, hunching over her and using only his hips to thrust now, with one hand propping him up he groped and pinched at her busty chest without remorse or restraint.

He felt her insides squeeze against it own and make a sucking motion, her whole body shuddered and she moaned throatily, "_Well she came, thank fucking darkness I could barely hold out_." Releasing his inhibitions Menma flooded Xenovia's pussy with his cum, silently basking in the godly feeling of release.

"_Oh yes creampies are the fucking best..._" Was the last conscious thought he had before loosing himself in the flow of sex and pleasure.

**End of chapter. **

**Well we got around to that pretty quickly.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	14. Chapter 14

Menma was basking the afterglow of possibly the best sex he'd ever had, Xenovia cuddled up to his side with her breath tickling at his neck, one arm wrapped around her waist holding her close to his naked form. "_Alright...Moment of clarity. Real talk right now brain, we need to have a talk with Sona about, dare I say it, the future. Because if us being together ends up causing the amount of trouble it did with Rias, I don't know if it'll be worth it. Then again, Serafall. Actually maybe it's a...No going to her first would just be dancing around the issue, and that's just fucking pointless. Ugh! I hate making decisions like this, one half of me is saying one thing and the other half is saying the opposite, decide you annoying fucks!_" Though his ravings were internal it didn't stop the tiny frown from marring his otherwise serene face.

Xenovia took his hand into hers and wove their fingers together, he didn't bother to move away from it, comment on it, or any shit like that. And that was worrying. He'd only been really squishy and soft like that with Sona, and it only just occurred to him that he'd technically just cheated on her.

"_Oh fuck me sideways to sunday and call me Irene..._" He wanted to facepalm. Now he really had to get this whole fucking situation sorted, did he have some weird harem-thing going on? Lord Gremory had one, he assumed so did Lord Sitri, was it the norm for Devil's of power? What was the fucking protocol when it came to stuff like this.

"_See this. This is why I stayed single most of the time, no bullshit to deal with. I fucking hate relationships, I knew this and still got into one because I just happened to like a girl. I preferred all this shit when I was human, at least I was oblivious to all the extra shit that came with screwing around._"One could say it is habitual behavior, with him typically spending the evening with one of his various lady-friends around the city, but with everything that had happened he was a little off-put when it came to dealing with the whole situation logically.

It wasn't just sex anymore it was a fucking web of intrigue that, while wouldn't get him killed, could fucking ruin his future quite easily. So he had two options, make this a one time thing with Xenovia, not fucking likely, or confront Sona on where the fuck their little relationship was going and if she planned on attempting to rope him into marriage. Because that was not fucking happening. He was putting his fucking foot down on this matter. If he was budging on kids he'd stick to his guns on this at least, consequences be fucking damned.

Menma was only worried what would happen if it did end up blowing up in his face, what would Serafall do, would she respect the decision of two people not being together anymore or would she loose her fucking shit and go crazy magical girl on his ass. Because he didn't think he could take her 1 on 1. Even if he had Tiamat's help he was pretty sure he'd get his ass kicked. And he didn't really stand for ass kickery very well.

He was probably overthinking this, he had a tendency to do so when he was anxious, pushing all his stress aside for a moment he instead looked at the face of his new 'mate'. She looked peaceful as fuck, she was staring wistfully off into space, her golden yellow eyes much gentler than the usual guard she had up, while he could appreciate a strong girl/woman it was nice to see a lighter side to someone. He had one, buried deep, _deep_ in him. Somewhere.

Probably.

Then again his recent behaviour could be considered such, he did feel a great deal more relaxed these days, the hectic bullshit notwithstanding, he'd felt the constant hatred that seemed to fester in his gut burn a little dimmer recently, then again being an angry fuck all the time was exhausting as hell. He could probably just pick up where he left of later but right now he'd take a break from his old dickish behaviour.

Well he was already taking a break considering how he acted around his new peerage, having his old man around was also doing nothing but good for his mood. Menma sighed, it was all so much simpler when he was on his own really, no feelings or other such troublesome things, just him and his cat.

Now it was him, an Immortal, a dragon, a monkey, a snake, a three headed dog, a cat, a fox, a church weapon master and finally an adorable nun. What a fucking rainbow of people he'd collected. Menma grimaced instead just burying his face in the tits of his lover, who seemed to be knocked from her daydreaming as her mates head nuzzled against her breasts.

"Is this where I found out you enjoy breasts as much as that dragon boy?" She almost sighed at the idea.

"I'm more of an ass man, but your butt's all the way down there, and I'm not so much into nuzzling butts, more into defiling them with my dick." He replied with a muffled voice, "Plus you have really nice boobs, they're super soft." He gave one a good squeeze getting a soft groan of appreciation from the girl.

"I will admit the idea of being...Taken from behind like that is...Unusual, but if you desire it I will allow you to do so, though I would appreciate a short time of warning beforehand." Admitted the bluenette Menma pulled his face from her cleaveage and looked her dead in the eye, holding her face mostly for dramatic effect.

"You. Are. Perfect. And I love you, so fucking much right now." He said, straight faced and proceeded to stick his tongue down her throat, that woman mewling joyously as their lips bonded once more, their tongues colliding and coiling around one another, before it ended as quickly as it came, Xenovia was on a roller-coaster of hormones right now and the heat in her stomach was incredibly unpleasant, like a knot of sexual desire.

She would have complained before her mate sheathed himself in her once more, her back arching and her toes curling as the sweet pleasure of their joining flooded her senses.

"Oi, Menma! Stop fucking the girl already, it's dark out and you need to eat." Came Madara's voice as he banged at the door, Menma sighing though the rumbles from their stomachs did sound off at the worst time.

"I suppose we did spend half a day screwing each other senseless, wanna continue tonight or just sleep?" He asked, still not removed from her as he looked into her eyes curiously, he would be content to just sleep, he could probably do with a good cuddle, painful as it was to admit no one could really hate cuddles. It just sounded so...Weak. Then again, 'snuggle' was no better.

Menma sighed and pulled out, slowly soaking in every single spec of pleasure he could drag out of her glorious, god-like pussy. He refused to stop harping on it, no-one would understand but him, if he had anything to fucking say about it, but got damn it was like spreading the gospel. A worthy cause.

Menma leant down and slapped one more on her lips like a true fly motherfucker before leaving the bed to seek pants.

**Kitchen.**

The Uzumaki sifted through the cupboards in search of simplistic noms, "Changed my mind, fuck cooking we're getting pizza!" He called out, getting a cheer from the loli and the nun. Madara and Gin were engaged in a game of street fighter and gave a distracted 'woo'.

Anna merely slid up behind him and sighed contently in his ear, "Someone need some hugs, Anna dear?" he questioned amusedly, grabbing her thighs and picking her up so he could return to his room for his phone.

"You're really warm, it was cloudy today so I couldn't heat up properly." She muttered annoyed at the inconvenience.

"Didums, you know that you can come for my body when you require it." He assured condescendingly, grabbing his phone from his nightstand, Anna's nose perked at the scent in the room, "It's good eh?" He chimed, a smile on his face. Anna sighed and tightened her hold and rested her chin on his shoulder, her tail coiling around his bare stomach.

Flipping it open and going through his contact he called up the pizza place, "Alright who wants what?" He called out into the house, Anna demanded meat, Menma giggled at the lewd connotations, before nodding. Tama wanted peperoni, Asia had a hawaiian, Madara and Gin taking a 'supreme', Menma had a big fat meatlovers, carnivore for life. Xenovia seemed to sparkle at the idea of pizza, was it an Italian thing?

Haha, stereotypes.

Menma ordered them up and went off to the shower, removing the snake woman from his bawdy.

**Next Day, 10:00 am.**

Menma had texted Sona to meet him, he needed to get any potential problems sorted sooner rather than later. He was currently browsing the locals game shop, pondering the next purchase he would make, he'd already tucked 'Divinity: Dragon Commander' under his arm for his PC and was looking for something console centric. "_I already have Dark Souls, I already have Bloodbourne, I can't be assed with DB-Xeoverse, the amount of grinding Cowboy does between episodes is ridiculous, my tolerance for that isn't high this week. Hmm...I never did get around to getting Dragon Age Inquisition, we'll go with that._" He nodded to himself, grabbing the game off the shelf and turning to go to the counter, almost loosing his skin as Sona seemingly appeared from thin air.

"I was about to tap your shoulder to scare you, this was much better." Haha so fucking funny. The smug smirk on her face forced and eye roll out of him, he chose not to comment paying for his games and gesturing she follow him, she did so probably curious as to his relative silence.

"I believe we should have a conversation." He started, the ominousness of that opener would not be lost on even the densest of fuckfaces, Sona's lips formed a thin line but she seemed to catch onto his train of thought.

"I suppose so." She agreed quietly, sticking to his side until they found a small space to speak, they'd ended up out of the shopping district and were making way towards a small café they had been to a few times.

"I made High-Rank. Though with how well connected you are, I'd assume you'd know that." Sona nodded lightly, offering a small smile in congratulations, "The yokai that were at my house are the start of my little crew, Xenovia is my Queen." He informed, the slight souring of her expression was not lost him. "Look, I'm just gonna be straight with you on this Sona, because I fucking respect the hell out of you, if you think down the road, we'll get married, we should break up now. I'm not getting married and I'd much rather we both move on if it's only going to much worse later." Said Menma, already feeling the ice permeate in his chest, wow that was a lot harder than he thought it'd be. Not one for words and preferring to speak through actions, this kind of stuff was dangerous territory for him.

Sona stopped walking, Menma took two more steps before turning to look at her, if anything she took it well, she was a reasonable person after all and could follow his line of reasoning easily. "While I can agree with you on the idea of sparing us both a messy future break-up, is it so wrong of me to want someone to share my life with until I am chained to some man down the line to continue my families bloodline?" She asked him, Menma grimaced and narrowed his eyes at the pavement.

"No. I'm just letting you know, I'm never going to bind myself to someone through some fucking legal system, I don't even know how Devil marriage works. Hypothetically, say we did get married, would we be expected to pop out kids ASAP? Would I have to pledge myself into your family? It wouldn't exactly be feasible anyway, given the fact I'm not a pureblood." His thoughts did drift for a moment but Sona was able to decipher his meaning.

"It's just a pledge of partnership, until death. Is having children so terrifying to you, Menma-kun?" Asked Sona, she knew of his history with his own parental figures, but she was always curious as to why he was so against the idea of it.

"I'm not consistent in my feelings for things, Sona. You know that, I grow bored and tired of people and objects at the same rate. I'm terrible father material I'm not going to condemn a child to having me as their father when it may very well end up with me doing a worse job then mine did. No one deserves that." He blurted out, he probably meant a million other things, but that was all he could think of at the moment, he had numerous reasons some reasonable and others just out of preference. "And, I'm 17. The last thing I want to think about is children, like I keep telling people wait a fucking decade and ask me then. No-one seems to be listening." He glared at the ground again, annoyed that he had to keep explaining this.

"So. Where do we go from here? I have no idea when my parents will be able to find me a suitor who can best me intellectually, and you want to wait 10 years before even thinking about children. What path does that leave for us?" She asked, not icily so much as just vacant of emotion, she was good at that, walls up and tight defence.

"Don't make me be the one to say it when we're both thinking it, Sona." He accused without any real venom in his voice, she adjusted her glasses and nodded placatingly. "Like I said, if it comes to something that really ends us, we both have to be prepared to walk away without causing a bloodbath. I don't, nor will I pretend to, know your parents so I have no idea what trump cards they've got. Until then I guess we just, take it as we usually do? I don't fuckin' know." He refused to be the bad guy here, because if he was the one to initiate the break up, he'd get frozen and shattered like a wine-glass.

"That seems reasonable. Who knows maybe that 10 years will come quicker than you think." She looked up to him with another small smile, her eyes a little glassy. Menma grimaced and shrugged.

"Whatever...Let's just go and get the coffee, I can't deal with this shit." He growled out tiredly, Sona chuckled at him, taking his hand and walking beside him.

"_It's like walking with a tiny string between us. A blade sharp enough can cut it easily, but it's still there._" Thought the black haired teen with a soft, silent sigh.

**Home**

Menma walked in the door, kicking off his shoes and walking down the hall with a vacant look on his face, he passed Tama and Asia the former getting her hair braided by the latter until the foxgirl saw him and jumped from her spot, leaping onto his shoulder happily nuzzling his face, Menma lifted and arm under her ass to keep her from falling on it, "Welcome back Aniki!" She managed out between her face-rubbing and borderline dry-humping.

"I think we need to talk about these hugs of yours." He said distantly, making Asia sweatdrop as she observed the over-excited foxgirl's hug. Menma ignored the connotations of how the girl was rubbing herself against him and just took it at face value, walking into his room and rifled through his shopping bag to produce his games, placing them on his desk and removing the tiny fox from his man-body. Tama pouted at him as he set her on her feet next to his chair and sat down in it.

The girl was about to sit on his lap but was beaten to it by Tiamat, who stuck out her tongue at the girl, Tama huffed and left the room, her tails twisting at her little flux of tiny-person-anger.

"I love you." Said Menma, to the dragon who merely grinned at him, before flopping back and sitting on his lap with her back on his stomach.

"_What are these you have bought?_" She asked curiously, Menma handed her Inquisition while sliding Dragon Commander into his PC.

"One's about adventure and shit, the other is about commanding an army and shit, you can also turn into a dragon." He said blandly, just feeling drained from today. He felt heavy and weighed down, stupid fucking emotional bullshit. Every time this shit came up it made him feel like shit.

"_Feeling a bit down, my dear?_" Asked the Dragon, though she was more than aware of this given their little link.

"I don't wanna talk about it, I desire entertainment, not annoying bullshit." He brushed off the conversation before it could even start, Tiamat shrugged and dozed off enjoying the warmth of her partner's body.

A short while later Menma encountered a character in Dragon Commander he was sure he was supposed to loathe, Catherine one of his generals she oozed feminazi. He already hated her. She didn't even know his character and was already giving the guy shit just for having a dick. According to her, women were the superior sex. Well he had something to say about that, considering the fact he could turn into a fucking _dragon_ and facemelt entire armies. Sex was meaningless when someone could pull that shit off.

"_Darkness I hate annoying cunts._" His mind was already stormy, so to prevent himself from destroying his PC he just turned it off and sprawled out on his bed. He could appreciate a strong woman like anyone could, but demanding everyone cater to you because of what was between your legs just made his blood boil.

Mostly with murder-frenzy.

"_I need something to break_."Thought the teen with a deep scowl etched onto his face, he rose from his bed and stalked out of the house taking flight with a single feline leap into the skies, making a hard right and going directly towards the forest, "_In place of that, I'll just make some new armour...Let's see, if Zinogre makes me an unstoppable force, so let's try for evasion this time, since I fucking despise passive-defensive play._" Thought the Uzumaki, standing in the same scarred clearing he and his grandfather trained not long ago, crossing his arms and closing his eyes in concentration.

"Hmm..." The wind passed through his hair, making it drift as he went through various games in his head, "Oh duh, Nightingale. Skyrim is good for something after all, 'cept cape physics. Get off your ass Bathesda." He grumbled, forming a simple skeleton design around his form with magic, it was transparent and ghostly in this form, Menma stepped out of the shell and looked it over, pulling the cape down to lengthen it out, adding a mantle of fur over the shoulders, purely on a whim.

"Don't really need to change anything else..." He thought, looking over the suit and nodding, binding the skeleton design to his Gear, it took only a short time, the corrupted orb in his chest grafting the magic into its form. Menma was happy enough with it for now, then again he may scrap it if something better came to mind, that was entirely possible.

"So here you are..." Came a cocky voice, Menma turned on his heel and looked over his shoulder at someone who dared to bother him when he was in a foul mood, it was a white haired boy with pale skin and a very punchable face. He had frosty blue eyes, wearing a black jacekt and dark green v-neck, what a tosser. He had maroon jeans on with...?

"Are you wearing fucking chaps?" Questioned the red eyed male, glaring at his new prey incredulously, the boy looked a little affronted but didn't respond, "The gay pride parade is in 'Murica, kid. Fuck off there if you're going to prance about with fucking chaps on. So tasteless." Insulted the brunet, mostly because chaps looked like trash.

"I'm going to ignore that in favour of just kicking your ass for taking out Kokabiel in my place, you must be at least vaguely strong to do that." Menma's eyes turned positively savage, melting from red to a bloodthirsty gold, his pupils slitting dangerously.

"I'm going to rip out your fucking heart and eat it." Growled the Uzumaki, this would be cathartic as fuck but he still felt the need to at least give a token 'warning' to his new victim.

"Oh please, do try to be entertaining at least." Sighed the boy, "My name is Vali. Vali Lucifer." He introduced though instead of bowing he was thrown skyward by a vicious uppercut.

"I don't fucking care what your name is you little fuck-biscuit." Growled the teen, "**Limit Breaker: Zinogre!"**Blue armour forming rapidly as his power skyrocketed, Menma was in the air after his prey in a second, Vali barely had time to right himself before a kick to the back of the head sent him crashing into the ground, Menma surged lightning into his fist and crashed right down after him. The crater shattered as lightning tore up the ground and Vali's form. Menma flickered away from the blast zone.

A bright blue light cut through the dustcloud and showed Vali in all his 'glory'. "Hm. You look like a more _fabulous_ version of Issei. I mean this may just be because of the chaps still, but girl you so shiny." Mocked the muffled voice of the Zinogre, getting a low scoff of derision from the white Dragon.

And that was exactly how Vali looked, he was a white Dragon in armour akin to Issei's though the White Dragon had wings in place of the long ponytail thing Issei had going on out the back of his helmet. Menma had to admit there was something pretty alright with that random tail-thing.

Vali shot towards Menma fist out and wings rocketing him forward, Menma flickered away and flared lightning all around his body, bombing down on Vali's vulnerable, back making the boy cry out as the lightning struck fiercely, sending the White Dragon crashing down, ripping up another scar in the land.

Menma clapped his hands together twice, lightning shot down from the sky. Striking the armoured boy with such force that the very ground quaked in protest. As it was torn asunder, Vali's bloody gargles as his armour buckled under the pressure and ended up piercing his body were like music to the Uzumaki's ears.

"Funny thing, feeling like I can take on the world each time I kill something, and given your little toy there..." Menma walked to the rapidly dying boy and plucked the saphire blue jewel from his chestplate, grinning ominously as his fingers lit up with purple light, "Sleep well, I here oblivion is nice this time of year."

**End of Chapter. Yeah it took me a while, had a bit of a block.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Thus we return.**

Menma rolled the sapphire orbs in his fingers around his palm, a large purple crystal jutting from his back pocket as he walked away from the smoking corpse of the White Dragon's host. "So. How'd that feel, dying I mean." Questioned the Uzumaki, grinning as the dragon's face was reflected in the blue orb, it merely stared at him apathetically, refusing to answer.

"That attitude of yours is useless, White Dragon. You're trapped in that little orb until I rip you out and dine on your power. And I think Tiamat will be more than happy to see another dragon, I wonder if she hates you like she does Ddraig? If not then I do wonder what she'll say when I eat you." He pondered aloud, the idea of claiming the Heavenly Dragon's place was enough to make him salivate, this would surely be enough power to start some _real_ chaos. Perhaps he could rip apart heaven? Perhaps decimate the underworld?

"Slaughter humanity until I'm bored?" He thought aloud for a moment before shaking his head, "No...That wouldn't do. Who would make my games then? No. I suppose I should form some kind of plan for my power, power for powers sake is a little less juicy than power with purpose."

Menma paused for a moment before laughing aloud, throwing his head back and all, "Holy shit, the idea that the only thing sparing them is my like for games is fucking hilarious and I don't know why!" He blathered out, barely coherent to any outside source, Albion rolled his golden eyes but still remained silent.

He was conflicted, whilst he never had any grand attachment to Vali he was...Upset, that he had died. The boy had been his only company for almost two decades now...Actually that was probably it, Albion sighed and almost faceplamed if it weren't for the fact he was physically incapable of doing so, "_Now I'm stuck with this boy...Why are you so cruel to me Lord? And he has Tiamat at his beck and call...Ugh._" Lamented the Dragon.

"I can hear your thoughts." Said the Uzumaki with a deathly calm, scaring the everloving shit out of Albion. The golden eyed dragon looked at the teen through the orb, a smirk firmly planted on his lips. Menma thrust his magic into the earth and rose a small pillar to place the orb on, placing it on the pedestal he returned to his previous activities, brainstorming on armour ideas.

"Oh duh, Ryu from Ninja Gaiden. Fucking armour done. Shit's easy." He murmured softly summoning the projection and altering it heavily, shifting it from a full body of light armour to a sleeveless, skintight armoured vest with a matching face mask, forearm length gloves with metal studs lining the flat of his arm, black armoured leggings lined with weapon loops, and armoured knee-high boots that blended seamlessly into the pants, instead of the typical soles though it was like faux tabi sandals. He summoned a small wave of magic around the neck, slowly and methodically he pulled at it until it reached the projections thighs, the oddly badass scarf of Ryu Hayabusa to finish off the piece.

"What a wonderful set. Damn people can come up with some good lookin' things." He praised to the air vacantly, this set would be much easier to make as it was not intended for full combat, infiltration, silently slaughtering and general guile, so he would not have to reinforce it with his blood _and_ magic, he'd just have to use magic, glorious plot-hole-filling magic.

"Albion!" He said sharply and suddenly, turning and pointing at the blue orb, golden eyes stared back at him boredly. "What do you think?" He asked, gesturing to the projection grandly.

"_I think it's a-_" Albion paused for a moment, not really sure why he was even bothering to humour this Devil, while no he didn't really like Vali that much, he was a dragon of principles and his principles demanded he not converse with this boy anytime soon.

"Oh fine, be a bitch about it." Menma blew a stray strand of hair out of his face and grabbed the orb, the stone pillar crumbling into dirt, with a wave of his hand Menma opened a portal and returned home.

**Home**

Stepping out of the portal he was greeted to the sight of his King sitting on his bed, patting Miyo who was purring contently whilst Tiamat sat on one of his pillows, snoring contently. "Oh, Ma-kun! You're just in time, I didn't have to wait long after all." Came the relieved voice of his King, Menma rose a brow at her, beckoning her to continue, "Well, my darling little Rook, a special meeting is coming up of the three Factions to settle on a peace agreement, a cease fire if you will, and I wanted _you_ to be there to see this momentous occasion...It has nothing to do with the fact you were requested by name by the Fallen Angel leader..." She mumbled at the end but his ears twitched as he gave a small frown, but shrugged it off.

"Sure, whatever..." Said the Uzumaki with a shrug, silently throwing the orb into his personal pocket in the universe, "Any reason you're here besides that?" He asked, flopping down next to her, the dragon crawled from her grip and curled up on his stomach.

"Well that's mean, are you trying to get rid of me?" She pouted petulantly at him, Menma merely grunted in reply, "What's wrong, Ma-kun?" She asked, laying next to him kicking her legs up behind her.

"Just a few moments of needed clarity, nothing to worry about." He brushed off lightly, reaching up to run a few fingers across her cheeks and tuck a stray lock of hair over her ear, she smiled sweetly at him and lunged forward nuzzling into his neck.

"You're all squishy and soft, I love it." He said with amusement, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into himself, a smirk on his face as a buzz of warmth ran through his blood as her form was mashed against his own. It was a pleasant sensation but the cold clarity of his mind emerged after a short time, it was nice to enjoy the small things but he was a man of eyes on something more important than hugs on the bed.

"I know, you can't resist these puppies, I don't jude you." She replied cheekily, pushing up her chest, Menma nodded and gave ol' lefty a strong grope, feeling the pillowy softness in his hand. One couldn't say no to boobs.

Tiamat crawled off his stomach and lay at the end of the bed to avoid being tossed about by the lovers, " Now now Mr. Handsy, I just came for a little visit, no tawdry stuff today." She scolded, tapping him on the nose though she did enjoy his well trained fingers she wasn't really in the mood for anything of the kind today.

Menma shrugged and instead picked her up and placed her on top of himself, hands loosely resting on her hips as she adjusted kissing at his neck a giggling as he roughly grabbed her ass in response, "Oh I don't wanna do that right now Menma, she says as she gets all neck kissy, tsk tsk tsk." He mocked with a few clicks of the tongue.

"Oh fine you talked me into it." She said with an overly dramatic sigh, Menma grinned like a wolf at its prey, Tiamat made her way out of the room, the door clicking behind her.

"I'm going to paint your insides white." He swore, she glittered at the prospect.

**An hour or so later.**

Menma now sat on his bed alone, his small lizard only now returning, a towel over his head and his hair slightly damp, clad in only a pair of black shorts, idly fiddling with Albion's orb, Timat crawled onto the bed and stared at it with a curious gaze, Menma's eyes shifted to a venomous green colour as he smiled darkly and nodded, confirming her thoughts.

"_Oh Menma-kun...You bring me such lovely gifts..._" Said the Blue King, Menma smirked as Albion's eyes widened at the sight of her, "_However did you get him?_" Looking frightfully like the cat who found the canary.

"Ripped him out of some bitchboy who tried to start me. Probably gonna suck his power dry at some point, I just haven't gotten around it, then we can both be dragon and we can be bff dragons and it would be great." He said, nodding his head whilst patting the minimized form of his companion who merely looked up at him fondly. Menma waved a hand over the azure orb, streams of white magic lifting from it and rushing into his arm, his arm shimmered with white energy before settling. Menma smirked ominously at the creature who stared at him with fear.

Raising his palm to display it to the dragon he explained, "The Essence Theft Rune, easily the most useful Rune I have at my disposal." A knock at his door frame drew the attention of the Imagine Mage, his old man stood there, arms crossed and leaning against it. Menma looked at him, baying him to speak.

"So, gonna eat the dragon huh? Interesting choice I suppose. Gonna be hard though, no doubt he's got a lot of power in him, and even without it dragons aren't exactly something to mess with." Advised the old Uchiha.

"I can crush fucking mountains when I get moody. I think I can handle a crippled lizard." Returned Menma with a blank look, Tiamat giving him a look, "Oh not you my darling. He's the lizard, you're a lovely beast of legend." He cooed, scratching her under the chin and peppering her head with kisses, the dragon mewled in joy at the sorcerers ministrations.

"Oh I'm aware, I was there remember? Good fun that was, but my point is this isn't something that you can just do for a few days. This will take at least a week of constant draining to do anything, then after that week you'll have also had to have set up the ritual circle, summon the beast, kill it and _then _use its blood to transform. Ascend, if you will." Informed the Uchiha, making a fantastical movement with his hands, a rain of magically conjured glitter following it at the end. An insufferably chirpy grin on his face.

"I'm going to punch you one day." Said Menma with a blank look, Madara merely chuckled, "Again." He corrected. "Well, if I work on draining this motherfucker, can you set up the circle?" Asked Menma, Madara had a small pout on his face.

"You just want me for my body." He muttered 'sadly'.

"Never. Say that. To me. Again." Madara merely laughed like a lunatic.

"Well, I feel like I've lost my edge recently...So I'm going to sabotage the meeting." Said Menma, he put Tiamat down on his bed next to the azure orb, she immediately began batting it around like an amused kitten.

"Any particular reason?" Asked Madara, curiously.

"Because there would peace, and peace is ridiculous that just makes us all weaker. That and it means that we can just fuck off and watch the chaos." He informed absently, "Besides, I don't really like it here anymore, too much trouble. So what I was thinking, I'm gonna be meeting with the head of the Angels, Fallen and Satan representatives. Why not just prep the room with traps, suck them all dry and then cut them all down or somethin'." Suggested the teen, the older man placed a hand on his shoulder and brushed a fake tear from his eye.

"You make me...So proud." The dramatic sobbing was excessive, in Menma's opinion but he cared little at the moment. "However I feel you'll have to curb your enthusiasm, such a spell is a little beyond you. So how about you just give it a little time, and then systematically destroy all the things."

"Or I could just look at what spells I need to learn, learn them and _not _waste a shit ton of time. Though I see your point, ok different plan. Just kill off the Angel, that implicates the others in them murder, less work for me and still starts a war." Madara nodded, Menma summoned his tome and immediately began flipping through to the section about runes, in hopes of finding something he could place on his hand to infest the Angel's body, handshakes _did_ have a use after all.

"I should probably start work on another transformation as well..." He muttered, as his thoughts returned to such things, "The stealth...Is kinda pointless. If I want a to avoid being hit I should just avoid being hit, I'm not exactly slow." He muttered to himself, summoning the shell of his agile based set and erasing it, the dust of magic evaporating shortly after it was blown away.

"Probably something akin to...I don't know, bother with it later. Murder plans now." Masterminding was too amusing really, so many plans for so much slaughter, so many waves of blood and oceans of gore. Oh he just tingled at the thought of it. "Oh I can't wait to watch the looks on their faces as I rip apart everything they've tried to work for over the last century or so." Menma dark chuckles rang with a deep, ominous timbre.

"You know if you do succeed in this whole transformation thing, your body will reject the Evil Piece, you won't be a devil anymore, probably gonna be something along the lines of a half-dragon, shape shifting to the higher form while keeping your human form." Informed Madara absently, looking over a book of his own, sitting on the end of the bed whilst Menma remained in his chair.

"Yeah, I gathered as such. But then again being a Devil just allowed me to soak up more magic, gave me an excuse to use it and all that. Now that I know there's an entire secret section to the world I can just go full dictator and not worry about what the government will do with some kid who can throw fireballs willy nilly." He answered without missing a beat, Madara hummed in response, the conversation dying off as they began their little study session.

"_Menma-kun, if you are to become one of my kin what will you do with yourself after that?_" Asked Tiamat with a curious tilt of the head, Menma's eyes shifted to a cool cyan colour as his gaze drifted to her, an inquisitive brow perking gesturing she continue. "_If you remove the piece you'll have no obligation to the Devils, which you ignore anyway but that's neither here nor there, where will you go? You are aware you cannot stay here, yes?_" She prodded, concern in her orange eyes.

"Mhm, I am aware." He replied, eyes shifting back to his book. "I'll probably leave the state, shift around some, maybe settle somewhere else entirely. I doubt I'd leave the country, too much trouble really. I did hear about some big company laying down roots in Shinto Teito, might go an snoop around there. Cause some mayhem, steal some shit. I dunno I'm just throwing idea's at the metaphorical wall of my mind and seeing what sticks."

"What about the cat-girl? Gonna pass up the opportunity to fuck her legless?" Asked Madara, turning a page.

"Oh hell no, I'll just Charm her into coming. Kill Issei and take Red from him as well, it'd be easy. He's too trusty of me." Informed, Menma. Tiamat leapt into his lap and nuzzled his stomach, "I thought that'd please you my darling." A small grin lit up an ivory streak across his face.

"Asia-chan will be sad, she really likes those two."

"I'm not a good person, Jii-sama. I don't give two shits how someone else feels. I do as I please. 'Sides, Issei has potential to get strong. I'd rather snuff it out now than deal with it later." Said Menma though he paused for a moment and thought aloud once more, "That and I don't even have to tell Asia about it. Koneko will be a good little slave so she won't be able to do so either. Only we will know, you won't tell you love me to much to cause me and really trouble, and Tiamat is my partner and good friendo."

"Such a venomous child you are, Menma-kun." Madara chuckled at the vile smirk that lined the face of his kid. "I do so enjoy the faith you have in us though, make me all warm and fuzzy inside."

"I enjoy watching people suffer, I suppose it's about time I let the beast back out of its cage before I leave."

**Meeting**

Menma had been up all night researching various methods to thrust his acidic demonic power into the Angel, and he'd managed to get something very close to his original idea, it did take a little spell-crafting but it was worth it, adding a 'Mystical Containment' rune and 'Soft Death' rune into one had mutated the pair into what was essentially a hidden venomous fang of magic that would implant his magic into the Angel on contact, he could then 'detonate' the magic and kill him from the inside out.

Then all it would take is a short time to slip away in the conflict that would no doubt pick up shortly after that, he'd have enough time to absorb Albion, ascend to a higher form which would allow him to keep his whilst also managing to remove his Devil leash.

He'd even done a little dressing up, donned in a pinstripe suit with a bloody red undershirt and black tie, his hair tied into a simple tail whilst his eyes were dancing around the purple range of colours, he wore a pair of simple cloth gloves on his hands, it should be obvious as to why he was covering his hands. The meeting was being hosted in the familiar clubroom, alongside him was his grandfather and his Queen.

Though Madara was all dolled up in his old war armour, he looked like a samurai that had never seen a barber shop, though Menma couldn't deny how awesomely simplistic his armour was. Maroon in colour with a black bodysuit underneath.

Xenovia was donned in her usual battle gear, her giant sword wrapped up on her back, though she did now sport a soft purple scarf wrapped around her neck, which in turn covered up a good majority of her impressive cleaveage. Though that did come with the bonus that no one else got a look at her goodies but him.

Menma and his ilk passed through the seemingly empty streets quickly and into the clubhouse with haste, he couldn't sense any grand signatures in the area so he assumed he was the first to arrive, opening the door and gesturing in the others first, "Such a polite young man, letting your delicate old man go first. I knew I went right with you."

Menma merely grunted and kicked him in the ass making him go inside before following after, Menma scanned the room he felt like he'd been in a million times too many and frowned slightly, there was an extra person he'd never seen before, "So what, recruiting traps now?" He asked seeing the girly-boy, dressed in a female uniform and looking at him with a fear only the most socially awkward could conjure.

"Gya-kun, this is Menma-senpai." Introduced Koneko, the feminine platinum blonde haired boy had light pink-red coloured eyes, the boy was hiding behind the petite cat-girl and barely peeking over her shoulder, Menma and Madara exchanged a look, the younger looking at the older man with a cold, reprimanding gaze.

"I know what you're going to do, don't." Warned the younger male, Madara's eye twitched and crossed his arms.

"Just 'cus I like cute things..." He muttered.

"You hug people and in this bloody place it gets constantly thought of as you being a total pedo, I'm looking out for you." Replied Menma without missing a beat, only garnering another huff.

Menma stepped forward and placed a hand on Koneko's head, "It's good to see you again, Koneko. How are you." He asked with a smile, her face darkened slightly as he scratched at her hidden ears.

"Good."

"And your name, small child?" He asked, looking upon the boy, behind her, he stuttered and stammered in attempts to answer the question, Menma looked at the girl to fill him in.

"Gasper Vladi." Informed Koneko, Menma nodded.

"Menma Uzumaki, Madara Uchiha, Xenovia Quarta." Introduced Menma getting a shaky nod from the traptastic boy. Menma turned his attention back to the girl, "Any idea how long we'll have to wait for the others to show up?" Asked Menma.

Madara and Xenovia taking a seat on the nearest couch, the ancient man idly reading another one of his various arcane tomes whilst the blue haired she-devil sat her giant sword between her legs.

"You're early, Sirzechs-sama and Leviathan-sama aren't even here yet." Menma tsk'ed and sighed, "Wonderful." He sat besides Xenovia, throwing an arm around her shoulder and allowing an ever so slight smile to form on his face as she leant onto his shoulder.

"_I'm going to tear it all down. And when I absorb Albion, they won't even know how to find me._" He reigned in the villainous laugh that he wanted to release, purely for the sake of dramatic tension. But he'd save it for now. There was a time and place for good villain laughs.

Menma felt several large energy sources seemingly materialize. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end for a moment before that cold clarity dropped into his blood, "_Sirzechs and Serafall are dangerous together but with a few well places spells and runes I could disable and kill them both. The last two are on about the same level, Angels...That's good I can take two of their star players out at once. Easy-mode._" He thought with a smirk, though he could also do the same with the two Satans, it would be a little trickier with them being Devils, with this thought he streamed more magic into the murderous rune upon his palm.

Dark thoughts continuously stirring in his head was probably something he should see a professional about but then again, fuck that noise he was well aware he was bloody insane at this moment.

As the doors opened revealing the two guests Menma released Zenovia and stood to address them, "About time you all arrived, and here I was getting concerned." He said lightly with faux playfulness. Sirzechs was expressionless in the face of this young man, his bias towards what had happened with his sister still fresh in his mind, and apparently he'd struck her once more. Though it didn't seem to be without cause, he was still the brother.

Serafall smiled brightly and hugged his arm, leaning up onto the tips of her toes and kissing his cheek, "Michael this is my Rook, Ma-chan." Introduced the girl, "Ma-chan this is Michael the leader of the Angels, and this is Gabriel." She introduced the two angels to him, though as she said Gabriel one could assume it was hostility but upon further thought on this matter it appeared to be something akin to rivalry.

Michael was a tall blonde man with fair skin and what appeared to be perpetually sad looking eyes, he was donned in a very over-the-top robe with a golden mantel across his shoulders and cape falling from said mantle, he was the picture of good arian boy.

Gabriel looked like a well endowed blonde woman with curly hair and shining blue eyes, she wore a robe that was equally lavish but less fanciful as Michael's. She looked at him with a soft smile and kind eyes. Oh how those eyes would be filled with terror and fear when he was done with her.

Oh, steady on, one can only get _so _erect.

This was going to be good.

**End.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Juusanbi no Shinju: Oh I know, *brushes shoulder*. **

** : Then don't read this chapter dude, you'll be very, very sad.**

**Silver Crow: If I put every woman he almost murder into a harem, I'd overload on characters. And that'd just be a clusterfuck to write. I've put like 500 words into a pure narutoverse story, but don't expect it anytime soon.**

**Also, I've recently started working full time again, so these will be less frequent for a while. Less frequent than already? Yep.**

**Also started playing FFXIV, good game thus far. Kinda wanna take an axe to a few people but that comes with the RPG territory.**

**Start.**

Menma sat through the meeting easily enough, he'd already won really. All he had to do was shake some hands, pat some shoulders and all of them were decorated in his malicious runes. Such was the great ease around the peace lovers, they were never on guard as they should be, they didn't see deceit when it sat next to them. The only one who did seem to avoid his touch was the Fallen Representative, his name was Azazel a man with a critical eye, he had black hair with a blonde fringe he wore a red coat buttoned up and falling down to his ankles, a pair of black slacks and shoes finishing his rather minimalist outfit.

Compared to the extravagance everyone else seemed to bare. Menma didn't really care as the man looked like he hadn't trained in his power, so it was probably thoroughly plateaued. Never one to break a limit, that's what Azazel struck him as.

Finally after what felt like hours, without interruption or breaking from the topic the blonde/black haired man spoke, he'd been staring at the Uzumaki for some time anyway, "Menma-san, may I ask a question that's been bothering me for a short while." Asked the man pausing conversation, it was wrapping up anyway so it was a minimal annoyance.

"You may, Azazel-dono. I will do my best to answer." Replied the younger male with a small smile and a nod.

"You wouldn't happen to have run into a white haired boy, wore slacks, touted a white suit of armour?" Asked the Fallen, Menma nodded easily, "Oh yes? Could you tell me where he is, he's one of my subordinates you see, raised him myself in fact. And I could sense lingering amounts of his magic on you, am I to assume you to sparred or somethin'?" Asked Azazel, looking at the boy dead in the eye, noticing the slight shift from barely attentive to quietly alert in the tall black haired man behind the seated youngster.

"I regret to inform you he is dead. You are correct, we did fight. But he came with the intent to kill me, to 'test himself' I believe as he was under the impression I was a stepping stone to getting stronger. Long story short, I put him six feet under with a chokeslam." Informed Menma without batting an eyelash.

"Stupid kid...I knew this would happen one day..." Grumbled the Governor, running a hand down his face, grief and disappointment flooding his body. The foolish boy, if only he knew the destiny that had awaited him.

"If it's any consolation I ended it quickly." Informed Menma, his face like that of a doll, completely still and emotionless, he was giddy inside he had no idea he would get to witness the destruction of yet another person's emotional walls on the day of his coup de tat. It was like opening all the presents on your birthday and then getting sucked off by some lovely slut, just icing on the cake.

"It's really not...Please stop talking."

"Menma! Why didn't you tell me about this." Hissed Serafall, Menma looked at her and she could honestly not get a read on him, it was like a cold clarity had fallen upon him as he looked at her, a small smirk lining his lips as he spoke though only she could really make it out, minimal as it was.

"It didn't seem important, he didn't seem to be affiliated with any faction. Just a wanderer with a chip on his shoulder. Had I known otherwise, I would have told you, Master." He said, he should honestly take up acting, it was like lying but you get the adoration of millions and lots of money. Sera shot him an deadly glare that oozed 'We'll talk about this later'. How cute, she assumed she was leaving here alive.

"Do you need a moment, Azazel-dono?" Asked Sirzehs soothingly, yet without pitying the man, he himself loathed pity so typically afforded that courtesy to others. The Fallen shook his head, smacking his cheeks a little and sighing.

"I'm good, let's finish this up, I need a drink." Said the man softly, getting an understanding nod from the others at the table, Menma closed his eyes and allowed himself a small internal smile of victory, his shoulders relaxing slightly he was honestly abuzz with excitement though, he did have to heavily sedate Xenovia's ability to remember, as far as she was aware this meeting took place without a hitch and they would be leaving in peace in a few days time.

He had no other idea on how to get through this without severe backlash from his little blue haired fucktoy, ah life was so hard when you were such a terrible person. He was amused at how soft he'd allowed himself to get, such was the little experiment these past weeks had been, caging up his nature to see how it was to really feel around people, it got stale rather quickly. Not that he didn't enjoy his time with his new 'family' but he much prefered to be himself, dead inside and ready to do the worst kinds of things to humanity for his own amusement, but now. Now he had much larger scale playthings.

Menma excused himself from the table, going into the other room that held Rias and her Peerage, the lot of teens entertaining themselves but one could easily feel the tension in the air around them, closing the door behind him he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Went off without a hitch." He informed the tension lapsed as they all collectively sighed in relief.

"Issei, Koneko. Would it be a bother if you two came over in about 10 minutes? I have some news and I'd rather give it to you in private." The two nodded, Issei adding in a grinning thumbs-up. Menma smiled in response though it was met with all but three scowls or hateful glares, he widened it into a vicious grin in rebuttal which seemed to cow the trio of grudge bearers.

He'd like to kill them but he rather liked the idea of someone coming after him for vengeance. It'd be rather amusing to watch them wriggle and writhe as he strangled the life out of them, knowing they had failed and they would never avenge anyone.

Oh, pleasant chills indeed.

Menma returned to see them all pawing over some piece of paper, with a gesture he signaled Xenovia and Madara leave quietly, "Is there any further need of me, Master?" He asked politely getting an absent shake of the head from the leviathan, "Then I take my leave, farewell it was a pleasure meeting you all." With a courteous bow, hand across his chest and the other out slightly he exited stage right, closing the doors behind him, Menma released the shackles on his pent up energy and begun the countdown to victory, in exactly 15 minutes each of those meatsacks would feel his venomous power seep into their blood and kill them inside and out, their power would then be consumed by the parasitic runes and return to him, akin to a probe in Mass Effect 2. You send it down, it gathers resources, though instead of sitting on the planet it returned with said resources.

The sorcerer grinned darkly as he began strolling down the streets towards his home, soon flanked by his two faithful family members, "That was quite fun, aside from the fact that I wanted to hang myself for the past two hours I'd say a day well spent." Xenovia's eyes seemed to clear almost immediately as he spoke, the hazy fog of her sedation wearing off.

"It was...Interesting to meet Michael-sama..." She said quietly, "The way he looked at me with those sad eyes though, it was like I'd let him down." Continued the swordsman to herself, Menma threw an arm over her shoulder and kissed her temple.

"You don't need that lot anymore, Xen. You've got us, and we don't even need frilly robes to look fabulous." He said with an amused smile, that seemed to lift her spirits slightly.

"Have you seen our, hair. It's to die for." Informed Madara preening like a peacock, that seemed to nail it in as Xenovia let out a small chuckle, both sorcerer's joined in on the mild merriment.

**Home**

Menma opened the door, whilst looking at his watch, the two of his dear close-ones walking in as he did so, "7 more minutes...Hm." The small hum that left him was not one of success or joy, but merely acknowledgment, he was aware he had won his little game, short and tame as it was in comparison to what he could usually brew up, but he did so enjoy the simple gems from time to time.

Like a good Indie game, they don't last that long but the good ones are a lovely timesink.

As he walked in he was greeted by Gin, who tapped him on the shoulder, the monkey man garnered his attention easily, Menma's beast sufficently back into its cage, slumbering if you will. "Yes, Gin? How can I help you?" He asked pleasantly, a smile on his face at the sight of his housemate.

"How set on you when it comes to all of us moving with you..?" Asked Gin, carefully.

Menma rose a brow but his mind did a little loop for a moment and came to a conclusion, "Ah! If you desire to depart I won't stop you Gin, I'll set you up with a phone and such so we can remain in contact, but you don't have to come if you don't want to, we're friends. I turned you all on a whim, I don't want slaves. I have those already." He added the last bit as an afterthought, with a sly smirk lining his face, Gin gave a small grunt of amusement and nodded.

"Anna and myself plan to travel around a bit, see what this human world has to offer. I just figured I'd check with you beforehand." Menma nodded easily, before a smile grew on his face once more, knowing eyes locking onto Gin.

"Gonna get some sexy interspecies lovin' goin?" He asked, a grin growing from his smile when Gin's usual stony gaze was accented by a burning of his pale cheeks.

"...Shut up..." He mumbled before walking away to his room, Menma chuckling lowly as he did so, a tugging at his pants drew him to Tama.

"Aniki! Where are we going?" She asked, crawling up onto his chest and hooking her arms around his neck, locking her legs behind his waist, looking him dead on with those darling baby blues.

"We're not going out of the country, Tama-chan. Don't you worry." He assured, hooking and arm under her butt to support her, "We'll be going to a place called Shinto Teito, I've read a few odd things and I want to check it out, apparently there have been talks of closing up their borders. So I wanna get in before it becomes a large chore to do so." Tama nodded in reply, not really caring but wanting to know at the same time, snuggling into his chest and clinging tightly to the tall Sorcerer.

"Well aren't you just the cutest little thing...Can't wait to see what you look like in a few years, Oh that's a wait that's gonna hurt me." He almost grimaced, whilst he liked cute things and in turn liked to fuck cute things, he wasn't into banging kids. It was against his morals, murder was ok but kiddy fiddling, not so much.

So he'd have to wait a painstakingly long time for the little darling to mature and then nail her to the wall with his dick, tsk. Pesky morality. Always getting in the way of his fun.

Menma was above few things, this unfortunately was one of them.

"Oh, Menma-kun welcome back how did the meeting go?"

Hello virgin soil.

Asia looked up at him with a sweet smile, Menma grinned in response pushing his libido aside for the moment. "The meeting went well, have you started packing, Asia-chan?" She nodded, excitement visible as she seemed to buzz happily.

"Yes! I made sure I have everything twice, I'm so nervous but also really excited!" She said, "Do you need any help packing?" She asked quickly, eager to do more to keep herself occupied.

"No, that's alright, I got it. Tama-chan, do me a favour and keep Aneki sane until we leave tomorrow." He asked getting a serious nod from the girl, she slid down him and took the blonde girls hand into her own, running off to darkness knows where.

Menma looked at his room from the doorway, reflecting on all the time he'd spent in this house, this city, this room. He was almost a little forlorn to see it change but that was just the nagging sense of nostalgia talking, he began unplugging everything from the walls and sitting on the top of his desk before sending it all into his pocket dimension, with the recent flood of magic he'd collected it was quite a lot bigger than he was used to. About the size of a football field.

Not exactly endless but still extremely large for simple moving his things. He slowly worked his way around the now completely spartan room, leaving only a few chairs and his bed, his clothes were all placed into his pocket as well, minus a single change of clothing to wear tomorrow.

Menma eyes drifted to his watch "…30 seconds!" He shouted before running to the mirror in the bathroom and placing his hand against it, it split into a quartet of viewing windows, the little extra he'd put into the rune was that just before the 'venom' begun its work it would release a short miasma that would form an 'eye' that would allow him to watch the proceedings.

What's the point of murder without being able to watch it?

Sirzechs was with his wife, Grafia. The pair were sharing a few words whilst having a celebratory drink together, the redhead was looking at his love with nothing but pure love in his gaze, she in turn gave this back to him. The pair came close to lock lips until Sirzechs grunted in pain, clutching his wrist in pain, Grafia looked at him in worry before the rune appeared, a sickly venomous mist rising from it, the green rune made all of his veins visible as it pulsated across his body, Sirzechs looked on in terror as his skin slowly began to seemingly flake away, a terrifying azure blaze lightning up his arm, an all consuming flame that spread across his whole body, his body slowly being destroyed from the outside and the inside at the same time, the screams of horrific agony leaving him were like a symphony that moved Menma's icy heart, fluttering it with joy.

That and watching Grafia sod in complete and utter despair as her husband was reduced to a smoking haze of magical energy that rapidly dissipated into the rune and was sucked into a collapse of the air. Menma drank it all in slowly, like an aristocrat would a fine wine. Her sadness was complemented by the bouquet of murder.

"My word, that was lovely." He said, brushing a tear away, tapping his finger upon Serafall's window it begun much the same, she was sitting alone though, in her castle reading something or other and just generally relaxing.

The rune began to appear all over her body, azure markings lightning up across all of her delicate flesh, her alabaster skin marred by the fact her veins were able to peer through it easily, the flames were stifled instead it was like she was being poisoned, her face turning purple as oxygen refused to flow, her eyes rolled back, blood shot and almost bleeding. Menma's grin was positively manic as finally the flames were unleashed reducing her body to ashen magical dust, once more sucked directly into his dimension, sitting harmlessly in the form of pretty jewels made from their very souls.

"That's what you get, for trying to control me. Thinking I was property for you to own, I am Menma. I am Death." Menma uttered softly, like speaking to a newborn his words were the velvet that hid the dagger.

Next up was the Angels, Michael was addressing his people, _this _almost gave Menma an orgasmic level of bliss as the audience would watch on as their only hope was reduced to _nothing._

Michael's perpetually sad eyes were tinged with pain as he felt it coming on, initially Menma watched as the man attempted to resist the venomous demonic magic, but the fact it spent two hours burrowing into him eventually revealed the futility. Michael screamed bloody murder as his wings were torched first going up in the great blue blaze, he fell to his knees, hacking up golden blood upon the floor under him, the Angels clamoring to assist, only for their leader to become dust before them, he reached out in a vain attempt to receive their help only to seemingly 'poof'.

Menma released a low, wolfish laugh watched this, at the same time Gabriels' form took a similar spill, nothing extremely noteworthy, the event was much like Michaels, though he did so enjoy drinking in the horror etched onto their faces, it was a good way to round off the events of the day.

Menma waved a hand as the magic on the mirror dispelled, leaning against the wall directly opposite the mirror and looking at himself, he looked like a fucking champion. One who ripped the shackles that bound not only himself, but humanity itself for centuries he was a godslayer, a kinslayer, satansbane. The whole nine fucking yards, Menma allowed himself that evil laugh he'd been holding in.

"Hmhmhmhm..." A small rumbling chuckle, barely breaching his lips, before he pushed off the wall and threw his head back, "HAHA**HA**HAHA**HAHAHA! YES! FUCKING YES!**" Throwing his arms up and praising the motherfucking sun he reveled in it, he. Had. Won.

Dismantled two of the greatest powers to ever exist, heaven and hell. In one single swoop. All that remained was a limp remnant of the Satan's power base in the form of the Adjuka and the Beelzebub, lambs that would come before the lion if they dared. His face cooled rapidly as he gave himself one more glance in the mirror, "I fucking win." He uttered softly and smiled a small, tempered smile.

Menma paused his victorious merriment as the door was knocked on, slipping out of his jacket and tossing it into the dirty clothes basket, leaving only hist dress shirt and vest on he went to answer it, right on time were Koneko and Issei.

"Ah just the two I was waiting for, c'mon this'll take a bit to explain." He closed the door behind him and gestured they follow, they did so without question, Issei all to happy to follow his friend to hear him out, it must have been something serious if they couldn't even talk in the house.

Koneko was looking up at the back of her senpai with curiosity, his stride was different, not greatly but it was more...Imposing? No, assured. He seemed on top of the world at the moment, she chalked this up to how well the meeting went.

Menma quickly guided them to the park, overlooking the river, Menma paused and turned to them, smiling serenely, "I suppose this is a good enough spot." He calmly turned away once more and looked upon the glitter traces of light upon the rivers surface, the sun gazing down at it softly, a few clouds drifting by haphazardly existing in the sky.

"So what's up, Senpai?" Asked Issei, standing next to him on his right, whilst Koneko did so on his left.

"I'm moving away." Menma informed quickly and bluntly. Issei and Koneko were wide eyed, Menma placed a hand upon their shoulders, pulling Koneko close whilst ruffling Issei's hair. "You two are good friends, I felt the need to inform you, though don't fret." With a single finger poking into Koneko's neck she fell back, Issei alarmed until he felt ice flood his veins, "I'm taking a few things with me as...Momento's." Informed Menma, the same smile on his face as he tore Issei's heart out with his bare hands.

As he went in from the back Issei got to see the bloodied claws clutching his still beating heart until it went limp, his word turned to black as he felt his very being torn asunder.

Menma finished off the draining of the boys souls and magical power, a decent snack if nothing else, cradling a red orb in his hand, "What happens when you claim heaven, hell and earth. Dragon?" He asked rhetorically, the horror in the golden eye preventing any real conversation from taking place.

"You just plain, win." Menma flicked his wrist and the orb was sucked into a red vortex, he clicked his fingers and Issei's body began to burn away, leaving not a single trace, he picked up Koneko and gazed upon her petite form, "I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk and then until you can't think, the level of breaking that will take place...Oh I just got a shiver." He chuckled to himself producing a collar laden with many runes and fastening it around her neck, she wriggled and writhed before going still once more.

"Oh, it's so good being bad."

**Home**

"Guess who's decided to join us!?" He called out, Asia and Tama poked their heads into the hallway to see a now conscious catgirl standing beside Menma, the pair squealed, Menma smiled and gently nudged his new little slave over to them as he went to his grandfather, the man sitting on the couch reading a book with a glass of juice next to him.

"I felt it, good idea." Commented the man as his kid say beside him, Menma smirked whilst the man looked at him from the corner of his eyes, "How'd the show go?" He asked, both of them knowing not to speak in their usual grandiose manner about this.

"It was possible the most profound moment of strength I'd ever felt in my life, I should write a symphony to describe it, because I lack words." Madara placed a hand on his shoulder, a fond smile that only a grandfather could give.

"I love ya kid, and I've never been prouder than I am at this moment." Said Madara, Menma's eyes widened for a moment before they set back, a bright smile on his face. Madara threw an arm over the boys shoulder.

"I love you to, Jii-sama..." He replied quietly, a feeling of contentment washing over him.

**I told you all there would be a catgirl pairing, I never said it would be one of equal terms. Haha! I'm a fucking horrible person.**

**S'ok I'm aware.**

**Now as you may or may not have gathered, this story is about to become a tri-crossover, adding Sekirei into it, and after that settling comes to a close the stories over. Initially I thought of ending it now, at the precipice of power. But nah, I'll keep it going until I get bored.**

**Word of warning, no fucking Akitsu.**

**So sick of her, just sayin'.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	17. Go To My Profile

**Imagine Magic: Sekirei, go to my profile. That's where it is.**

**Will be akin to this, though a slower start is needed to settle up the cast and make it so the darker shit **_**can **_**actually happen within reason. So just be ready for a short wait.**

**Get to it yo. **

**Raxychaz.**


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